Hate people that are always late.

[DJA1511]

Aibu to feel really peed off with people that are consistently late? I know I should be used to it by but it’s really annoying.

My
Mum is always late. She doesn’t come over very often at all nor do we meet up. I usually visit there and I think her lateness has made me into a very punctual person..

I’m not just talking about 20
Minutes late here. She said she was coming over at 10am and no sign of her yet. She’s texted to say she’s running late...

Really annoyed that I’m spending Christmas Eve day waiting around and she knows we have plans this afternoon when Oh finishes work..

Just want to moan.

Feel like telling her not to bother.

I know there’s lots to do at Christmas but she’s always the same.

YANBU, my mother is exactly the same. My brother is bring her her here and taking her home today so I know she will be on time and leave when it’s appropriate, otherwise when she does eventually arrive she won’t leave. Not just at Christmas but literally anytime. We asked her once to have our DD as we had an evening out planned, we were home by 11 and pretty much ready for bed, but she was still hanging around at nearly 3am! We don’t ask her anymore.

"Hi mum, was expecting you at 10. Hope everything is ok. Unfortunately I have a lot on so we'll have to cancel today now. See you on [x date]. Lots of love xx"

What Tableclothing said.

When people are consistently very late they are telling you that they think that their time is much more valuable than yours. So show her that it isn’t.

My mother and sister are always late. If they are coming to my house, I expect them an hour later than I’ve invited them for, and plan around it. If I have other plans later, they can lump it.

YANBU

It's disrespectful.

Once or twice... traffic, nappy explosion... life happens.

But people who are always always late need to sort themselves out and work out what is going wrong all the time and fix it.

I'd rather people were 15 mins late than 15 mins early. Hate it when people show up before you are ready or set off somewhere earlier than the agreed time. But agree that hours late is ridiculous.

YANBU this really annoys me too

I say this to my DD, she says I’m visiting my DM not making an appointment. I think there are just different types of people.

I have the same problem with my mum. If she says ten, I expect her between 11 and half past.

YANBU. Being consistently late is a form of passive aggressive behaviour for some people.

YANBU. Unless it’s people I can’t avoid (looking at FIL) I cancel the plans once they’ve been late. So if they were coming to mine at 10 and didn’t, I message to say it’s too late to meet up now so will see them another day. Likewise if it’s out somewhere, I just message to say sorry not to see them and I will catch up a different time. It has quite quickly seen a huge surge of punctuality amongst my friends.

Just to add that this is only to those who are persistently late for no reason other than the fact they couldn’t be bothered.

Kind of agree with tableclothing - but I would probably text her to say something along the lines of... ' do you know when you are likely to be arriving? We will be going out at 2.30 so I'm not sure it will be worth your while coming over if you will be getting here any later than....' That way she knows that you already have plans and that you will not be changing them just because she is late.

YANBU it's one of the rudest ways to behave.

@2020BetterBeBetter brilliant!

At our Pilates class yesterday (which starts at 9:45) one person walked in at 9:50 and another at 9:55. It’s only a matter of minutes but it’s distracting just as you are getting into the zone and it’s disrespectful. And then they faff about taking their coats off, apologising to those next to them, rolling out their mat etc etc. Try leaving home 10 minutes earlier FGS!

So disrespectful.

Such a selfish thing to do. It's basically them saying their time is now important than yours.
As you can tell it really irritates me!

Agreed OP.

Agreed - it’s fine on the odd occasion, things happen, traffic is bad, you can’t find your keys, something happens as you’re leaving etc etc
But if it’s consistent and happens everytime it shows a lack of respect to the other person. I feel awful if I’m late and keeping people waiting, but some people do it so often I don’t think they can really care.

I wish I had the balls to do it with SIL. One year on Boxing day she was 31/2 hrs late because her DD was asleep, ruined my DC's afternoon with waiting & lunch. She also is notoriously fussy with food and usually I cook separate ( dictated recipe|)but the last year I did this she proceeded to eat the other main too. I now no longer cook a meal, just snacks.
This year I made sure I have all the nice snacks her DC and DH like and none of hers. They come empty handed too, typing this makes me wonder why we bother....

You'll get people defending this behaviour, but it's rude and inconsiderate and YANBU.

Lateness really infuriates me. Occasionally there’s something unexpected that causes delay, and 10 minutes here and there doesn’t matter but persistent lateness is just plain rude. I won’t put up with it, but will say to a person “I notice that whenever we have an arrangement you’re always late. I feel upset and uncomfortable about this so can we agree a time you know you’ll definitely be able to make?” If they can’t be bothered to make the effort I just can’t be bothered to see them at all. And anyway, me being so “direct” usually puts them off me anyway, haha.
It’s harder with rellies, If you can’t avoid them, especially in laws etc, but serving your food on time (whether they have turned up or not) could be a helpful strategy.

I hate people who do this. Slight tangent but we took the 2 DC to see Frozen on Saturday and a family walked in 45 mins after the programme had started. I get being 10 mins late because of the stupid ads but this was ridiculous and made worse because other stupid people had sat in the reserved seats so then they had to move to seats at the front. Caused so much distraction. I've no idea why being on time is so hard for some people. I just cancel if people are more than 30 mins late now unless it's a really good reason.