AIBU to ask how to take back control in my life?

[Newyearnewmehopefully]

I’ve had a pretty miserable year but I want to move forwards and upwards. I feel like I’m in a juncture in my life and I really want 2020 to be different.

I have this feeling inside of me that it can be. I want to work on building myself up - for the first time I am out of some awful relationships, I’m finally regaining a little bit of independence. I guess what I’m asking is what if anything I can do to help myself?

I realise that the biggest cause of my misery the last few years is a loss of control and independence over my own decisions and I want to really become happy in myself. I had to come to terms with the ending of two relationships this year which was very hard but slowly I feel like I’m in a much better place and I want to make sure I’m never reliant on someone else for my own happiness ever again.

Any tips or recommendations gratefully appreciated!!!

Start small - make your bed and have a shower every single day.

I did this a few years ago - and split it into sections which were more manageable:

Money - Sort out your pension, budgets, savings - a little at a time. Create a rainy day/sinking fund for emergencies - when I have a puncture or need a filling, I have the money to pay for it - that makes me really happy (apart from the puncture or filling obvs!)

Health - try to set some framework - a walk every day, more veg, less meat etc.

Career - set long term goals (e.g where do you want to be?) and short term - e.g. doing your expenses every month, clearing out your inbox every Friday afternoon.

Ambitions - I'm working my way through a 50 before 50 list. Some are big - get another GCSE, visit Australia etc - but some are small, like make a decent sourdough loaf, make a garment, go to the cinema on my own (actually that last one's a biggie for me!).

The important thing is to write down what you want to do - look up journaling on Pinterest, there are loads of ideas on how to focus your life and ambitions, big and small. Then tick off things as you do them - it makes you feel like you are finally in control. At 47 I finally feel a bit like an adult :-)