AIBU wanting to check my husband into a hotel?

[thechease]

Husband is a snorer. A nightmare snorer. At home I get around this (almost) with ear plugs. But for Christmas we are staying at my Dad's with our 2 dc. Youngest is 10 months and so the 3 of us are sharing a room - we don't at home. There no other room. He's disrupting the baby's sleep and mine. It's terrible. I could banish him to the sofa but honestly it's a bit embarrassing and would not be very warm or comfortable. Plus my dc1 would be really upset when she comes in each morning to find daddy not there. Not to mention I am left to deal with all night wakings on my own - he sleeps like the dead. I'd need to physically stand over him to get him to wake up which defeats the object really. He's massively defensive on this subject. I've explained the snoring isn't generally your fault but not doing something about it is. I suspect he suffers from a sleep apnoea. And also perhaps in a previously life sniffing some illegal substances may have had a longer lasting affect on his nasal passages. Either way it's killing me, with a baby who isn't the greatest sleeper and him I'm dying on my feet. I want to bloody smother him (or me!!) AIBU?

Has he got a mouth guard thing that pulls the lower jaw forward a bit ?
That helps my husband.
I would worry about the sleep apnoea, this puts great strain on the heart,

Thank you. No he doesn't. He's never sought treatment or advice. I'm trying to convince him though.

I would use earplugs ... I have got a pair because we are stopping with relatives over Christmas. I think I might smother him with a pillow if I didn't use them because he snores and talks in his sleep as well lol

How about getting him a blow up bed to use in the living room?

I would put my foot down on his at least trying the nasal strips. They won't make any difference to him at all but could mean you and Dc get some sleep. It's very selfish to know you're disturbing your families sleep and do nothing about it

Send him to a sleep unit or sleep disturbance unit, he'll get a study of his sleep (sleeping one night in a monitored room) and will probably be shocked by the results. I had to make a list of the local ones and hand it over with stern orders of "Call" to my DH. Silly, I know, but the noise and disturbed sleep were awful. He was appalled by the results and started using a CPAP machine, which is basically a respirator that forces air down your nose and mouth to keep your airways open. It takes a bit to get used to it but oh, magic, no snoring, no sleep apnea, far more rest. As a grownup he should be doing this himself but just go ahead as it's affecting you too. Some men's self-care is just shocking. Incidentally, this is why men in stable relationships live longer and healthier, as shown by multiple scientific studies.

Here's the first link I got from Google about the CPAP machine, just as an example: <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.sleep.org/articles/what-is-cpap-machine/&ved=2ahUKEwjS1KLg1s3mAhWFyYUKHbKVB04QFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0oEUO26olnouZMQfhRzYuU&cshid=1577169686632" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.sleep.org/articles/what-is-cpap-machine/&ved=2ahUKEwjS1KLg1s3mAhWFyYUKHbKVB04QFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0oEUO26olnouZMQfhRzYuU&cshid=1577169686632

I feel your pain. Gave up at 5:30 and decamped to the sofa. Cats are very happy and keeping me warm at least I guess!
Normally there’s a spare room to break out into if it gets bad but we’ve got a houseful. I can offer no constructive advice, only understanding of your pain!
With a baby it’s relentless though.

The nose strip thingamys worked wonders for my mum. She would wake me from the other room with her snoring. As soon as she started using the breathe right strips she got better rest and so did I.

Have you recorded him? Does he know what he sounds like it does he think it's not really that bad and you're making a fuss about nothing? Could you record yourself making some noise too to show him he's not waking up at all and that's why he thinks it's ok really?

My DP uses a snore guard (thing that goes in the mouth) and it has worked wonders!
I believe snoring can be a sign of something more worrying so he should get checked out.

Where is the eldest sleeping? Could you and the two DC share and DH sleep wherever the eldest is?

You have my sympathies. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. Insist that he does something about it in the NY. Make it a deal breaker. Try not to smother him before then. Not sure if a chemist has any of the items mentioned above, might be worth phoning a couple up. If it wakes your dad up, get him to have a word.
Record him every night until he goes to his Dr's. Snorers never believe how bad they are.

Thank you all. I had thought about me and the baby going in with my eldest but then figure the baby will wake her. It's the lesser of two evils! We did try the nose strips once. Not super successful as I recall but I will go in search of the various solutions available and stock up today. Just to get me through!! Then try not to let it make me so bloody mad that I ruin Christmas. And attempt a conversation about going to the dr and getting a sleep study. I have recorded him. I've measured the decibels and used a snoring app which shows the frequency etc. He's got his head in the sand entirely. Thanks for letting me download and for your really helpful responses. Enough's enough! Happy Holidays everyone.