When is it ‘too friendly’ with an ex??

[kindheart86]

Hey ladies,
So my OH has 3 children with his ex girlfriend of 7yrs. They’ve been separated 9yrs and after the initial breakup she didn’t let him see the children regularly for 2-3yrs. The end was not good and she was very bitter as he went with someone else for a short period quite quickly after (as men do!)
Anyhow, we have been together 3yrs and the relationship with his children is good, sees them regularly etc.
However, this evening he was sat next to me messaging her about Christmas timings etc (perfectly fine) until I saw an above picture message that he has sent to her on Saturday of himself and his daughter cuddled up in our bed which I took because it looked adorable. He has no shirt on and he’s asleep- he then sent this to her and she replied with a heart eyes 😍 emoji. I mentioned this to him and he says I’m being ridiculous but I have previously seen her send picture messages to him of the children with things like our beautiful children today at.... wherever’
I have 2 children with my ex and yes we send pictures of the children but never with myself or of himself in them purely out of respect for his new partner and I don’t want to!!
I can’t help but feel he needs some kind of validation from this woman.
I’m upset and really think my anxiety is justified.
I don’t have any children with my partner and I don’t feel like we can as it will be too many between us, so I wonder if the insecurity is because she’s given him something (children) that I haven’t and maybe I am jealous over that??
Any thoughts greatly appreciated guys thanks in advance xx

The heart eyes emoji at a picture of him shirtless and his DD in bed is a bit weird isn’t it. But your DH was inappropriate in sending it to her in the first place.

They were laying watching a film together and they both happened to fall asleep- it was a beautiful close moment that I wanted to capture for HIM to see.

Hmm definitely a bit inappropriate. Not enough to make big assumptions on or go mad over, but I'd definitely be keeping it in my mind.

Not saying that taking the picture was inappropriate, him sending it to her is just weird. I can imagine him sending her a pic of DD on her own being completely normal.

You don’t think he could be testing the water with her do you?

I certainly feel like he wanted her to see him in that way, Feeding his ego one way or another. Bit of a crap start to the Christmas holidays especially as we’ve got to pick the kids up from her tomorrow morning 😡

Tell him that you don’t feel comfortable it happening again, it’s not something you would do.
He should understand and respect your wishes, if he doesn’t, then you may have an issue.

Sounds a bit like he wants the ego boost, did he look particularly good in the photo. I could MAYBE overlook a photo with partner and child in at say the zoo or park etc - somewhere fairly mundane as such. I’d still not like it, because frankly why does Ex need a photo of partner, but I wouldn’t necessarily get upset. A topless sleepy cutesy photo? Nah. I’m not ok with that.

The fact hes also said you’re ridiculous isn’t very fair, you’ve been together 3 years, you are entitled to say when you think the boundaries of your relationship are being tested.

It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s looking to leave you or get back with her, but I agree about the validation part. It’s concerning.

Op tell him to not be an attention seeker and to respect the boundaries!
Also even if she like the picture, who did she think took it and who did he go to bed with that night?...

You need to tell him firmly what you do and don't expect. Giving him something like a dc isn't going to make your relationship any better or more special because look him and his ex spilt and they had 3.
Also something people forget when having the second lots of dc with other people is they can still prefer the other ones more.
Because babies aren't fun or because they have that power of saying ' they are important too' and it just because a messy game.

You’re overreacting