Or is everyones family like this?

[wintertime6]

Was really looking forward to spending Christmas with my side of the family this year. It doesn't happen very often that we all get together for Christmas but we've got everyone together this year. Youngish children who are all excited about Christmas and also about seeing their cousins who they only see usually twice a year or so.

But everyone seems to be so stressed and snappy! Spoke on the phone tonight to make a few last minute arrangements and my mother and sister just brought me down! I finished work today, am starting to feel festive, have poured myself a much deserved glass of wine tonight, and was very much looking forward to the next few days, but no one seems that excited about having us all together and it just seems to be a big stress, surely that's not what Christmas is about?! It's completely different if we have Christmas at our in laws, they make us feel so welcome, so I think it's just my family! And we do loads to help out with the catering etc so I really don't think it's anything to do with that.

Anyone else have family like this? I'd just love to relax with them all over the next few days and enjoy the festivities and being together, but no one else seems interested in doing the same!

Try hosting next year and see how you feel

^ We’re hosting this year and it’s not stressful, it’s Christmas! What is there to get stressed about?

This is why we do Christmas at home.

My sisters are going to my mums and it’s already dramas. Meanwhile I have frozen Yorkshire puds and a joint of beef to do so my prep is prepped and I’m into my fifth gin. Tomorrow will be basically chilling.

I would love to host but we just don't have the space in this house unfortunately. We are hoping to move house next year and we'll definitely have Christmas at our's when we have the space to do it!

Dad sorts out the turkey and ham and he loves having that as his role. I'm making nibbles and starters. My sister is doing desserts. Mum is sorting out the veg, potatoes, gravy etc. We're bringing a load of crackers, nice cheeses, crisps and dips etc too. It really shouldn't be too stressful.

But the most important part of it all to me is having us all together and sitting down and relaxing for the day and spending it together. I just don't see that happening somehow.....

Newsflash - we're all different.
Some people thrive on having a lot to do / organise, and enjoy the whole thing, others get stressed.

Some people have this idea in their heads that everything needs to be perfect, and like something off a film or a TV programme. Others are more realistic, and much more relaxed, with much lower expectations (See your first 2 replies).

@BackforGood I never said it had to be perfect, far from it. I'd much prefer the more relaxed, lower expectations Christmas

No, you haven't, but sometimes the person hosting feels under pressure.
Not from you necessarily, they might put themselves under pressure.

@BackforGood well I really wish they could just see what's important. My father is pretty unwell unfortunately (although you'd have no idea if you saw him) so we all know this is likely to be the last Christmas that we will have mum and dad, me and my sibling and our spouses and children together.

I'd much prefer to have a lovely day with everyone and maybe a glass or two of wine and a board game or two, and see the kids enjoying their presents, rather than stress. I don't need a perfect meal at all, just some love and family support being shown over this festive period, maybe that's too much to ask?

Christmas need not be stressful. 20 coming to us, no stress, we eat what is here do so when it’s cooked. Plan less, go with the flow.

Try hosting next year and see how you feel

I'm hosting this year and don't feel too stressed I definitely hope I'll be making my guests feel welcome.

Well, as I said above, for some of us people, cooking for 10 or so, is stressful for some people.

For some people it isn't stressful - see Windy's post - but maybe those of us that would stress about cooking for a larger number, would be totally relaxed at standing up and speaking in front of 80 or 100 people (I would), a challenge which makes some other people wet themselves. Some people go to pieces on their driving test. Some people would hate to audition for a choir - others would breeze through. We could go on and on.
What can I say other than what I said above - we're all different.

I think I know why OP. If you're DF is ill then it's probably putting a lot of stress and strain on your family at what is a busy time anyway. My DSIS is very ill, possibly her last Christmas with us and the last couple of months have really put a lot of strain on our family as a result. It is so emotionally draining at a time when everyone is meant to be happy. I know I'm not really up for Christmas because of it and if it wasn't for my DC I probably wouldn't bother with it at all.

Don't let one conversation be your steer, just go and be cheered by seeing them. If anybody phones, I've been quite worn today out for any chat., maybe they are the same.