Feeling objectified...

[NotACat]

DH & I got together young and we never had any other significant partners before. For a long time, it was just the 2 of us. We travelled, we had fun, we used to have sex daily and enjoyed it.

Things changed when we had children. I breastfed for a long time and struggled with the concept that he still viewed my breasts as sexual because to me it was to feed the babies.

We now have sex 2 times a week which for me is enough. He probably would still want to have sex daily but he understands how tired I am.

The issue is even when we are not having sex, he will ask me to flash my boobs for example. If I step out of the shower, he will try to see me naked in a playful manner.

I find this insulting! I feel that he is objectifying me as it’s not a reciprocal act, it’s him acting like a perv. I’ve tried to address it and he says that he enjoys my body.

This makes me feel sick. What can I do?

Yuck. If you've tried telling him how you feel and he's still doing it I would ignore his requests and leave the room and lock the bathroom door. Hopefully he will get the message.

I get that it makes you feel sick/objectified but he is attracted to you, which is lovely. Can you find a middle ground, where you keep your dignity but still feel desirable? It's hard to get that back when it's gone

Um, he might still be attracted to her, but he's treating her in a truly objectionable manner, that is completely lacking in respect. That is not lovely.

I'd be locking the bathroom door, and telling him that I was, that he was not welcome, and that his behaviour was why.

As to asking me to flash my boobs - fuck off. Don't ask again, because a knee in the 'nads often offends.

@BooksAreMyOnlyFriends I told him so many times. We usually communicate well but he just doesn’t respect this aspect. I will have to lock the door in the future which is awful just thinking about it. But he has crossed the boundary.