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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To respond in kind to DGM's gift for the kids?

74 replies

TheABC · 23/12/2019 20:09

Mum has just dropped off the gifts from my Grandparents for my kids (they live 3 hours away). The main present from them is a toy Grand Piano that is on its side and taller than my three year old. It won't fit into either of their bedrooms and it's an accident waiting to happen downstairs. We have an open-plan house and scrapped the similarly-sized coffee table after my 6 year old careened headfirst into it.

When asked by my Mum DGM confessed she did this to annoy my husband (they don't see eye to eye). I am actually more pissed off about it as I'm going to be the one who has explain to the kids and cart it to the dump or charity shop after the first accident. It's disrespectful to us both and an utter waste of money.

DGM has done this before with baby items and I know she won't listen to my request for easily stored gifts. It's her birthday in a few weeks and I am tempted to find the biggest, tackiest home decor ornament I can find on Amazon with free delivery. It's the thought that counts, right?

OP posts:

twoshedsjackson · 24/12/2019 15:53

I agree with PP about getting DGM a gift which will be virtuous and annoying in equal measure; find a charity which supports a group she finds truly unworthy, and sponsor some worthy cause in her name.
This can be a gift which goes on giving; some time ago I gave a Cats Protection League as a birthday gift (not PA in this case, the recipient loves cats and cannot have their own in current circumstances). I hadn't realised that, every time a new cat moves into the sponsored pen, he would get an update with thanks! So, for example, a charity which supports the homeless, if DGM believes that people are only homeless through their own fault. And your money would actually be doing some good in the world.
I also agree with PP who suggested letting DGM know how much DH loves the piano!

scaryteacher · 24/12/2019 15:56

It's an utter waste of money It's your dgms money to waste though....

Somemore · 24/12/2019 15:59

I agree with others, get rid of it straight away, I'd stick in on a Freebay site and bet it will be gone in 30mins! Fuck DGM,, say nothing, do nothing, that'll probably be more irritating to her than anything.

plunkplunkfizz · 24/12/2019 16:04

Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. This is what I hate about Christmas - people who do not receive presents gracefully.

It wasn’t exactly given with any grace, was it? It was a dig at the OP’s DH so why does she have to accept it gracefully when it will cause upset or inconvenience to everyone in the family.

Fraggling · 24/12/2019 16:11

A toy GRAND piano? That's what 3 feet across? Crikey.

That is indeed an awful thing to give someone, unless of course they have asked for it!

ohfourfoxache · 24/12/2019 16:13

So she’d rather piss your dh off than do something nice for your kids?

What an utter cowbag

katy1213 · 24/12/2019 16:23

Why does your grandmother even have a relationship with your husband? Especially when she lives three hours away?
You shouldn't have let it into the house! But if you dump it on the street with a notice, saying, dropped off Santa's sleigh, help yourself - I bet it will have vanished in half an hour max. Probably to someone who will sell it but it will save you the hassle. Maybe check how much they fetch on e-bay first!

Orangeblossom78 · 24/12/2019 16:25

I think if the DC have seen it it could be difficult to give away or sell etc, maybe you could keep it in the shed for them to play on if there is room or if there is a group or toy library you could talk with them about sharing it with that so others can enjoy it too? Perhaps!

LovePoppy · 24/12/2019 16:26

I’d give the damn thing back to her

And leave the kids there for an hour

SmileyClare · 24/12/2019 16:26

Just Googled the price of a baby grand piano. Fuck me

OP DO NOT TAKE IT TO THE DUMP

recycledbottle · 24/12/2019 16:28

Wouldn't buy something big in return as lowering to her level. She will just go bigger next time and cycle will continue. Don't tell children and sell it. When she finds out she won't do something like that 'to annoy DH' again

CatteStreet · 24/12/2019 16:29

I'm with SmileyClare.
A coffee table isn't the same as a toy grand piano (which presumably doesn't have sharp edges etc, surely?). I can understand not having the former, but how much of a risk is a large toy when you have the space? Also I approve of toys that encourage exploring musc.
You sound a little uptight and odd about this, tbh.

Drum2018 · 24/12/2019 16:30

Aren’t you lucky to have to it grandparents alive and well at Christmas and giving presents?? Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. This is what I hate about Christmas - people who do not receive presents gracefully.

Yawn!

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 24/12/2019 16:39

SmileyClare not a baby grand piano, a kids size one. They're about 50 quid (or over 100 depending where you buy).

Still, don't send it to landfill. Donate to a kids charity or something if you really don't want it.

PrtScn · 24/12/2019 16:50

I have surrounded all around my coffee table with big foam strips. It’s the ruddy door frames he keeps banging his head on now....

eggsandwich · 24/12/2019 16:57

I would send it back to your grandparents via your mum and say thanks very much for the gift, we thought it would be better kept at yours so they can use it when we come and visit, in fact any future gifts its best to keep at your house in future.

stickerqueen · 24/12/2019 16:58

If it's the grand piano my friend's daughter has it's really not that big the box makes it look like it's massive but it's not. she has it in the corner of her living room and no-ones injured themselves on it.

SmileyClare · 24/12/2019 17:27

Oh ok not a baby grand piano, a toy one? I was startled by the £8,000 price tag on those! Was starting to wonder if this grandmother was actually the queen

Size wise then, it's not that cumbersome. I do agree with the pp who pointed out that a gift like this for all the dc is great for exploring music and it's an odd uptight reaction to said present.

LakieLady · 24/12/2019 17:34

I agree with PP about getting DGM a gift which will be virtuous and annoying in equal measure;

And it's so much more mature than my first thought, which was to do a huge great shite in a shoe box and giftwrap it. And label it "In case you're ever short of something to stir".

SmileyClare · 24/12/2019 17:42

What are these responses? A shit in a box? Only a psychopath would think that's a good idea What a crazy thread.

Radardodgingninga · 25/12/2019 09:12

@catspyjamas123

Some parents and grandparents are not kind, loving or supportive. Sadly the act of giving birth doesn’t transform spiteful, controlling or otherwise dysfunctional people into good parents. It’s sounds as if you were lucky enough to have kind, supportive grandparents. If they are gone, I am truly sorry for your loss and also envious that you had such positive people in your life. Not everyone is as lucky as you.

Singlenotsingle · 25/12/2019 09:14

eBay's very useful in situations like this.

Mintjulia · 25/12/2019 09:15

Yes, stick it out in the garage in the cold, and have it “disappear” later in the week.

Fundays12 · 25/12/2019 09:18

I would put it in the attic and sell it on a couple of months or ask for the receipt and swap it. I hate it when people bring huge gifts for my kids that I am expected to keep in my home. If I wanted something that big for my kids I would buy it or expect to be consulted before it’s bought for them as to if we can store it.

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