She finished university and moved back in with our parents. I am no contact with our mother and low contact with our father because they are hoarders with other mental health problems (anxiety, depression, odd behaviours) but both refuse to see a doctor. Not only that but our mother has repeatedly criticised my parenting skills been emotionally abusive and manipulative for years, and our father just lets it happen. My sister hated living there before going to university, and was always upset and low in mood because of the living environment and our parents issues.
The year before my sister finished university I asked her if she had a job to save up money or started applying for graduate jobs/programmes. When she lived at home she was constantly ringing me upset so I was concerned about her going back. Eventually she told me to stop asking because I was making her upset. I told her she could move in with me. Again I was told to stop mentioning it. She does have her own MH problems which she has been seeing a doctor and therapist for.
So she finished university - sent 0 job requests, saved 0 money, so went back to our parents. Eventually she’s got a Christmas job but it’s temp and minimum wage. Still regularly upset about having to live there. Then she tells me she’s spent £350 on a games console for herself with the money she’s managed to save (parents are charging her rent).
So I told her “that’s a lot of money that could have been used towards moving out instead”. She said she needs it to feel happy, to which I said “that isn’t going to cure your problems. Moving out will.” This is what she told me her therapist had said to her. I’d like to add that she already owns a major gaming console, she’s just bought a different one.
She’s now upset with me, told me she doesn’t have to justify her purchase. To which I said yes that’s true, and I will make sure just to always agree with you all the time in the future. I’m finding it hard to be patient now.