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To think friend is a CF?

27 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 23/12/2019 18:47

A few months ago myself&some friends booked a night away as our Christmas treat.It included a night in a hotel with a meal.The meal was pre-paid for.The hotel room wasn't.The booking was in my name and my card listed on the booking.

The night away was last Friday.My roommate told everyone she couldn't afford it this weekend due to a recent close family bereavement.

She waited until the cancellation period for the room had passed (48 hours prior) meaning id be charged either way for the whole room which I can't say I was thrilled with it tbh.

I felt a little pressured to cover the room costs as everyone felt sorry for said roommate due to the bereavement.

I agreed with roommate that she'd pay me back for the room today when she was paid.
I was waiting for her payment as I needed to complete my Xmas shopping today.

She messaged me this morning to say she couldn't pay me back until after Christmas because she still needed to do her shopping for Christmas.This left me in a position where I've had to cut back on my Christmas shopping today.I was already on a budget as it was.

I'm fuming and feel as though I've been taken advantage of especially as the roommate told me on Friday she'd brought more cigarettes than usual the week before and had spent £50 on them.Who has £50 to spend on cigarettes in a week?,surely if you're struggling financially you'd cut back or give them up?,£50 would have gone a long way to cover what's outstanding to me.

I'm now wondering if I'm ever going to see my money again at all.

OP posts:

ChinookPilotsGoVertical · 23/12/2019 18:49

No you're probably not - don't let it go, keep on at the CF.


FinallyHere · 23/12/2019 19:03

Sorry this has happened to you.

People like that are an argument in favour of the money up front if it's going on your card.


RhymingRabbit3 · 23/12/2019 19:04

Keep on at her. Ask if she will pay half as you also have christmas shopping to do. If she wont then after Christmas I would be on her a lot to pay you back.


Gettingtoomuch1 · 23/12/2019 19:21

I would keep on at her as PP’s are saying.

It’s awful that she is in this position but it shouldn’t be yours to own.


tinyme77 · 23/12/2019 19:31

When was she originally planning on paying you. Agree CF.


KaptenKrusty · 23/12/2019 20:03

Come back at her with same reasons - you have Xmas shopping to do still same as her - I’d be harsh - tell her she owes you the money and you need it now - she will just have to go without buying any more pressies for Xmas ! Don’t let it go


bigbubbles · 23/12/2019 20:04

Send a message

I will pop round shortly to get your turkey as I now cant afford mine. Hope this wont be too inconvenient.


sonjadog · 23/12/2019 20:21

Tell her that you can´t wait until after Christmas as you also have shopping to do, so can she pay you now as agreed.


Yesterdayallmyfish · 23/12/2019 20:27

Not on at all. She has decided that she will spend your money as she needs it. She doesn't care that you need it too. It is your money not hers. I would clearly explain that and go round to her house to get it back. She is trying to borrow your money without asking if she may. Cheeky f'er!


cstaff · 23/12/2019 20:29

She is presuming you will go easy on her and use this to her advantage. I would let her know how much this is leaving you in the shit. She is probably going to push harder and hope you will let it go.

Everyone is stuck for cash at Xmas. Don't let her away with this. This is so wrong.


PlumsGalore · 23/12/2019 20:31

OP, she isn’t going to pay you at all. Accept the friendship may be over and make sure you get your money back if you can.


rookiemere · 23/12/2019 20:38

Totally outrageous but she has no intention of ever paying you. I'd contact her again and tell her you couldn't complete your christmas shopping. I'd also consider letting the other friends involved know as if I was one of them I'd hate to think you were carrying the whole burden of her share just because you'd been kind enough to book it for people.


Nomorepies · 23/12/2019 20:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

IHateBlueLights · 23/12/2019 20:41

Get back to her and say you need the money for your Christmas shopping. Don't let it go.


billy1966 · 23/12/2019 20:43

She has deliberately caught you OP.

She thinks you will let it go.

It's up to you whether you do or not.

Either way, she is not your friend.


dontgobaconmyheart · 23/12/2019 20:44

CF and she is BVU to spend EXTRA on cigarettes because she feels its fine not to pay you. I would get the money back before you fall out with her OP, because otherwise you know you never will.

You do need to tell her that you sympathise but are in the same boat and cannot afford to sub her for this so she is going to need to make the same cuts you are making to pay the debt she chose to accumulate. I would suggest she pays half and see no reason why she is unable to make any contribution other than if she was indeed a CF. Raise it in the group chat if there is one.

Sorry OP how bloody infuriating. I assume 'after xmas' actually means end of Jan ( when she will be v.short of money after it has been a long month). She will surely have just been paid so...


MrsLinManuelMiranda · 23/12/2019 20:48

If all of the other friends in the party felt sorry for the CF due to her bereavement, why did they not all chip in for the cost of her room?


MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 23/12/2019 21:03

Message her something along the lines of
"I really didn't want to make an issue out of this as I know you're going through a hard time and I want to be a good friend. But I have my own Christmas shopping to do and was counting on that money being paid back when we agreed. This has put me in a really difficult position."
Any response other an heartfelt apology followed by assurances that she will transfer the funds immediately places her not just firmly in CF territory but well into shit friend territory IMO.


WellErrr · 23/12/2019 21:09

I’d do what Minister said


1Morewineplease · 23/12/2019 21:43

Yep , I agree with @MinisterforCheekyFuckery


Jokie · 24/12/2019 06:39

Another agreement with @MinisterforCheekyFuckery


Winter2020 · 24/12/2019 07:11

You have said your friend had a recent “close family bereavement”.
You haven’t said who but to me that means she has lost her mum/dad/sister/brother or even a child.

In that situation I would suck it up that i was out of pocket (while kicking myself for not getting money up front before booking as it is a bad time of year for finances).

I think it is very normal for a smoker to smoke more at times of heightened stress and upset and i am guessing this is what your friend has done.

I would let it go as it doesn’t seem like you’re getting your money anyway. It isn’t fair no. Don’t book anything again until you have collected up the money.


7yo7yo · 24/12/2019 07:18

What @MinisterforCheekyFuckery said.
No way would I let her get away with this, in fact I would message the other friends you felt pressurised you into this and ask them to chip in.
Bereavement is no excuse imo, especially if she ordered £50 fags last week!
Shameless twat.


BillywilliamV · 24/12/2019 07:22

The least she should do if you’re both struggling, is split the difference!


beautifulstranger101 · 24/12/2019 07:28

Badger her until she pays. Presumably, she was able to still pay her rent whilst grieving, or pay for food and pay for electricity and gas and water bills and council tax?
Its BS to think she's "too upset" to think about that now. When both my parents died I still paid my mortgage that month, and the bills, and the household expenses. Its not like mortgage companies or landlords say "oh you've had a bereavement- just dont pay this month, its perfectly understandable you're upset so we'll let you off!"
So if she can pay them, she can pay you back, and if she can spend £50 on cigs then she can definitely afford to pay you back. Her loss has got nothing whatsoever to do with you being out of pocket and struggling now because of her selfishness.

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