Should I Unfriend her? *Trigger warning*

[smellycatitsnotyourfault]

Baby loss details warning, before you read.

I have a facebook "Friend" who is not a real life friend. We met once many years ago and never again, I'm not sure why we added each other, but she shares a lot of her life online.

Last year we both got pregnant at the same time, sadly her baby was born very premature and had a long stay in NICU. I had a healthy full term baby.

The baby did very well, as I said she shared a lot. It's been a few months and baby was shown growing, coming home, teething, laughing. Then devastatingly passed away a couple of days ago.

I cannot imagine the pain the family is going through, or the heartbreak so close to Christmas. It's horrifying.

My question is, it's getting close to Christmas and I have family all over the world, I would like to share pictures of DD on Facebook so they can see, (her under the tree, opening presents, eating dinner etc.). I know people have opinions about pictures online but I'm not asking for that. I feel wrong, showing off my healthy child when she's just lost hers. Especially as they should have been born at the same time. This lady has been very active making 'goodbye' posts so I know she's spending a lot of time online at the minute, she has thousands of friends so I doubt she'd even see my posts or notice me Unfriending, but just in case? I'd feel awful.

So I guess:
Yanbu - Unfriend her, she won't want to see your pictures.
Yabu - You'll offend her by Unfriending straight after her loss.

I have a friend who had a nephew born on the same day as my daughter. Tragically, the boy died at three days old. I debated whether or not to unfriend/restrict etc., particularly around the first birthday, but I’d rather leave it to my friend to decide herself rather than abandoning her because she is grieving. People will all react differently, so best to let them decide.

Personally I'd unfriend her.
Just because when I decided to put pictures up of my children I had a massive clear out of friends to only those I actually knew and wanted on my friends list.

Definitely change your privacy settings. Unfriending her now would be really low.

Unfriending her because she’s lost a baby and you don’t want her to see your pictures is such a bad idea. She won’t know why you’ve done it! Just adjust the settings (which I think you are doing).

Its relatively easy to edit the privacy settings for your posts so you can pick and choose who sees them.
I do this quite regularly, and I am not at all Facebook savvy. Nearly all my posts are marked up "friends except..." Because I don't need the people I'm not particularly close to seeing my ramblings about how much i love this that and the other.
That might be kinder than blocking, but it depends on your relationship with her.

Of course it wouldn't be low. You think this grieving woman would notice that somebody she met once years ago and hasn't seen or spoken to since is no longer on her Facebook feed?

The OP is absolutely fine to handle her Facebook however she wishes.

I would post just one or maybe a couple of photos with a merry Christmas to everyone type message and then I would leave it.

Maybe send your family and close friends a few more pictures on WhatsApp.

I think Christmas is a difficult time for many people so I limit the number of family/dc posts for this very reason. You don’t know what other friends you have on your list who may be dealing with problems that your abundance of happy baby/family photos may stir up. I think it is good to be “modest’ with posts during the festive season.

Either message the pictures to the group of family that want to see them, or set the pictures so she can't see.

Unfriending her when she's had a crap time would be shitty. The fact that you're even considering that rather than just sending a group message to your family is a bit

I wouldn’t go unfriending or hiding posts from her. If she is online a lot she will certainly notice a disappearance from you.

As others have suggested, change your privacy settings.
To be honest, it’s unrealistic of you to hide your daughter’s existence. If your friend doesn’t want to see baby photos from friends ( you’ve said that she has thousands of friends) then she could alter her settings too.
She’s been actively making goodbye posts which suggests that she likes to have a very strong social media presence. Many folk wouldn’t dream of this behaviour, so I’d suggest just carrying on as normal with your own posts.