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to expect some birthday cards from my friends and family

16 replies

sweetkitty · 25/08/2007 16:25

I'm feeling a bit about this so am writing it down.

Was my birthday on Tuesday I got 5 cards (one from DP, one from DDs, one from DPs mum, one from a friend and one from an aunt)

My mum phoned and left a message and said that my card was waiting with her and she would bring it up when she next came which is going to be at least 3 weeks away, my Dad phoned a day late as did my brother. DP's sister will probably bring a present when I also see her in a few weeks.

Now I always make a point of remembering everyone's birthday and posting their card to them on time. Two close friends have not even acknowledged my birthday another 2 posted a message on facebook. I know it's a trivial thing but it has got to me that I always remember these peoples birthdays and send them cards.

I'm feeling really down at the minute because of the mc so maybe I'm overly sensitive but when you don't get a birthday card from the majority of your friends and family it really hurts.

OP posts:

ipanemagirl · 25/08/2007 16:32

Not skitty - not unreasonable. My birthday's in January so I'm often forgotten in the chaos of Xmas.
I have a friend whose birthday is the 24th July and she's always had slim pickings - she thinks it something about the holidays - people are not in their everyday routine so they just forget.
I've had the WORST year for birthdays and have forgotten loads and feel really bad about it.
I don't know when you mc - I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you're on the mend and getting used to it. I had a mc over two years ago and I suddenly noticed recently that I wasn't feeling sad anymore about it - I was surprised how long it took me to really recover actually.
All the best and hope you had a good birthday despite feeling let down!


snowwonder · 25/08/2007 16:40

keep this years cards and put them up next year so you are surrounded by them!!!

i know it is not the same and you are not being unreasonable

hope you had a nice day anyway


CaptainCaveman · 25/08/2007 16:53

Happy Birthday for last Tuesday .
No you're not being unreasonable, I'd feel just the same. One of my good friends didn't acknowledge my birthday this year, even when we discussed the night out we'd had for it!!

Buy yourself some lovely flowers or a nice treat - YOU deserve it.


chinwag · 25/08/2007 18:52

Not unreasonable. Some people are just full of their own world, and are selfish. This happened to me this year too, and I thought well now I know where I am in their priorities.


newgirl · 25/08/2007 19:05

i would probably stop sending them cards!


hertsnessex · 25/08/2007 19:33

it is unreasonable of your family - but tbh me and my friends dont go in much for the card sending bit - we txt happy birthday, sometimes do cards if we are due to meet and never do presents unless its a significant birthday - 30th etc.


loveall · 25/08/2007 19:54

sweetkitty-Now exactly how you feel.
Especially as you are feeling so low at the moment.
You would think people would make the effort in the circumstances.

I was at my MIL'S for my birthday and had cards from my children and DH.

Now MIL does,nt usually send me a card anyway ,she sends them to her grandchildren and DH.

But she did'nt even get me a card whilst I was staying there.
Neither did DH's brothers or sister who were staying at the same time.

I was really sensitive that day anyway as me and my late father shared the same birthday and it would have been his 80th this year.

Sending you belated bitrthday wishes.x


sweetkitty · 25/08/2007 21:18

thanks makes me feel a wee bit better

I just thought that if I can remember everyones birthdays (every 1st of Jan I get a new calender and write them all out every month I get enough cards for that month) pop out buy a card put a stamp on it and post it then other people could do the same especially my Mum and Dad, I'm going to tell my Mum not to bother bringing my card up if it's over 3 weeks late whats the point? The other friends I'm not going to bother sending them one next year either (save some money too) I think posting a happy birthday on facebook is quite sad IMO.

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ipanemagirl · 25/08/2007 21:40

I agree Sweetk, it is very thougtful of you. But I've been bad this year, very chaotic, didn't fill my diary/calendar in etc. I hope my friend whose birthday I forgot in June will forgive me. It was thoughtless of me but some years I'm just not very organised and the disorganisation can be a sign of all sorts of things going on which are no comment at all on the loved one, that's how I see it! But I know what's it's like to feel let down.


sweetkitty · 25/08/2007 21:47

Thanks ipanemagirl if it were one or two people I would be like fine but when it's most people you know it really gets to you, also if you send a friend a birthday card every year for say the last 14 and never get one back it gets to you too. Sometimes I think sod it it's not about getting one back that not why I send them but still.

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ipanemagirl · 25/08/2007 21:51

I didn't mean to remonstrate Sweetk! It's just your post really touched me and I am ashamed of letting this particular friend down, she's one of my unmarried friends who has no children and I neglect her and another friend in the same position. Actually I think birthdays are very important to some people. I'm not that bothered about mine. It's so close to my ds's that it tends to be subsumed in his - partly, actually, to my relief. But I know some of my girlfriends are very sensitive to being remembered and I can empathise with that too. I feel it more with xmas cards for some reason. The people I unfailingly remember and who never send me one!


sweetkitty · 25/08/2007 22:18

Oh I don't want to make you feel bad at all, missing the odd birthday is fine but as I've said before it's as if everyone has missed this one, I am unashamidly (is that a word?) feeling very sorry for myself right now.

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Meglet · 26/08/2007 21:20

Happy Birthday for last week !

YANBU. sorry your family are being dopey and didn't send cards.


kickassangel · 26/08/2007 21:37

a card is easy to send, we often save gifts for when we see people as posting can limit what you send, and it's nice to see them opened, but my mum always gets a card out on time. dh's mum otoh always remembers my birthday, but is often late with his!


currantbunmum · 27/08/2007 07:35

It was my dd2 2nd birthday 2 weeks ago, she was forgotten by...My Dad, my brother and family, FIL, and 3 friends who live in village, who I always make sure we send present and cards to on the day. She has now recieved things from all of these people, so why couldn't they send them on the right date?

Sweetkitty, belated Happy Birthday!


sweetkitty · 27/08/2007 09:58

currantbun - that would annoy me more forgeting a DC's birthday I got a few e-mails from people when it was DD2's birthday saying Happy Birthday DD2 (she's 3 an e-mail just isn't going to do it for her)!

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