To think friend should have told me DH is poorly before I went round?

[Poorboy136]

So long story short I went to frirvds house to exchange gifts for our DC. It was arranged a couple of days ago that I’d stay for a cuppa and cake.

I got there and she said her DH has man flu. I hoped at that point he would stay upstairs. Then we sat down in kitchen and down he came, sat right beside me and clearly he was full of cold/flu.

I though ffs, why could my friend not have warned me that her DH is full of cold etc... I would have exchanged gifts then left. I would have had no Shane in saying “actually I’ll call in when DH is better, could do without getting ill over the festive”.

Instead I was sat right beside him coughing and spluttering everywhere and my two children were there too.

At best she was thoughtless and at worst selfish. If that was the other way around and DH was full of cold and I had guests with young kids, I’d pre warn them and let them chose!!

Am I being unreasonable or what?? I know we’re around germs all the time and you don’t know who’s poorly etc... but on the occasions where you do know someone is clearly ill, then I wouldn’t chose to confine myself and children in close proximity with them if there’s no need.

I would have had no Shane in saying “actually I’ll call in when DH is better, could do without getting ill over the festive”

Instead I was sat right beside him coughing and spluttering everywhere and my two children were there too

Yes she could have warned you but if you'd had no shame saying it at the door why sit next to him coughing and sputtering all over you?

If he had the flu he wouldn't have made it downstairs - it won't be flu.

Would you really have not gone/left for a cold? That seems OTT.

Tbh it's almost impossible to avoid clods at this time of year.

It’s not the flu if he was sat chatting in the kitchen and unless one of you is immunosuppressed then it’s a bit OTT to be that worried about a cold which are everywhere at this time of year. Just wash everyone’s hands afterwards.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

I was sat down and he came sat next to me unfortunately. I already had a brew at that point so felt it would be a bit rude then as I didn’t want him to feel like a lepor. Had she warned me I’d have said, actually yeah we’ll call another time

Why didn't you just leave? You could have said exactly what you said in your post. Yes she could have warned you, but at the same time why choose to remain sitting next to someone coughing and spluttering, and then whinge about being sat next to someone coughing and spluttering

Why is MN so batshit about having any sort of illness at Christmas?! I get it's a nice few days, but is a cold really going to ruin Christmas that badly for most?

He had a cold, you'll survive having been in the same room as him. Yabu to have sat there and said nothing then bitch about them on the internet.

@reginafelangee

I know it’s hard to avoid it but yeah, I would t chose to go to someone’s house for a quick catch up when one of them is poorly.

People overreact so much about colds. People get colds all the time. You can't put yourself in isolation because you've got a cold. I wouldn't have thought anything of this other than he was a normal person getting on with normal life.

@Jollitwiglet

You just feel a bit bad eh... pointing out they’ve been inconsiderate. Felt it was too late and didn’t want to cause a fuss as I was already there

It’s. A. Cold.

I'd be pissed too op

If he felt well enough to sit downstairs it’s almost certainly just a cold.
Flu usually has you in bed feeling like you’re dying.

@codenameduchess

I’d this not what this thread is for? Pretty sure he won’t know that I’m annoyed, don’t recon he’s a mumsnet user so won’t hurt his feelings. I try and spare others’ feeling if I can you see, hence why I didn’t say anything at the time!!!

Yeah I presume it wasn’t flu as you say he was sitting up but I don’t know if it was the dregs of the end if it.

Meanwhile in the real world if someone in the household has a cold you warn visitors beforehand and give them the option to drop off at the door. Like normal considerate people do

I got there and she said her DH has man flu

Sounds like a warning. Why didn't you say then that you'd leave it for another time instead of coming in, sitting at the table and having a brew and cake?

I am constantly mesmerised by MN's fascination with the common cold/man flu. Just how shit is your immune system, assuming you are a healthy adult?

D&V I'd have walked out. Cold (even a bad one!!) I can't get too worked up about

You are a angry that she didn’t warn you that her husband has a cold? I hope you don’t go out anywhere in public without gloves on and a face mask because you come across people with much worse contagious illnesses everyday.

I know it's annoying but the chances are it's just a cold.

I do get it though. I'm currently on day 7 of whatever shitty bug I've picked up - sickness, upset tummy, raised temp, pounding head and hacking cough. It would have been nice if the family member who gave me it had mentioned that they were ill when I saw them...

If he was coughing and spluttering, he should have kept out of the way. Or the visit re-arranged.

I would have been annoyed.

It’s not flu! He wouldn’t have been up and about.
I’ve had a cold over xmas, just dose up. In fact I had one on my wedding day and amazingly still managed to get married and celebrate.

Btw recently DS had proper flu and none of us caught it.