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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain?

46 replies

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 23/12/2019 11:35

Will try and keep this short and try not to drip feed.

Bought a new car last year. Salesman used my phone number to arrange a few things to do with collection etc. Fine. Though, unbeknown to me at the time, he was using his personal number.

Fast forward a year and I get an email reminding me my service is due. Also fine as it saved me the trouble of booking my car in. Once again, used my phone number to arrange things for the service such as dropping off courtesy car etc.

The salesman was really helpful, as I was on crutches at the time, and the service was great. I expressed this but definitely did not give him the 'come on'.

He has subsequently been sending me messages not to do with the car and which I find really inappropriate. I have been polite as I need to keep my relationship with the garage as I have a service plan but I'm really not comfortable that he's got my mobile number and is now using it to offer me a massage and to ask me to send him a thank you card. I am sure he's breaching GDPR as well.

So AIBU to complain? I called him out on it by saying to him he had a partner and he denied it. He does indeed have a partner. I definitely have never given him any intention I like him that way and I went with a male friend to buy the car who he thought was my partner.

OP posts:

Original poster

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 23/12/2019 11:59

I am a drip, yep.

OP posts:

Spartonian · 23/12/2019 11:59

Text him saying can you please stop the inappropriate messages

lovemenorca · 23/12/2019 12:02

Flattered?

Grossed out. Disgusted. Perturbed.

But not flattered

puds11 · 23/12/2019 12:03

Do not feel you should be flattered! This is one of the major problems with society, women being told they should feel flattered for receiving creepy and unwanted attention. Report him!

MrsWhites · 23/12/2019 12:03

No you shouldn’t be flattered, it’s not a case of I should be flattered so will just let him continue to harass me. You should just stand up for yourself, tell him he needs to delete your number from his personal phone and to only contact you in a professional capacity. Or better still speak to the garage and ask to deal only with another member of staff. When you take your car in for servicing just ignore him, it doesn’t have to be awkward...why should you feel bad you haven’t done anything wrong (other than not standing up for yourself sooner)

lovemenorca · 23/12/2019 12:08

You’re not a drip Op
But on the basis of your responses I am going to hazard a guess that you don’t have a great track run of positive relationships and perhaps feeling a little excited / happy with this attention.

When the reality is - he’s revolting

Original poster

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 23/12/2019 12:09

Definitely not happy with the attention, he makes my skin crawl. I just don't particularly like confrontation and would rather just ignore people until they go away, which clearly he hasn't.

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 23/12/2019 12:13

Singinghollybob · 23/12/2019 12:14

Instead of hinting, just tell him you're not interested and tell him to stop messaging you inappropriately.
He'll likely then stop. Job done.

SunshineAngel · 23/12/2019 12:15

If you've asked him not to use your number apart from for communication regarding the car, then report it to the company.

Lulufluff · 23/12/2019 12:16

@CupcakeBabaPoooo No it wasn’t awkward because I’d warned the guy I found his behaviour inappropriate and wondered how many other ladies had their information misused so I doubt he was surprised when I reported him.
It’s difficult but you surely wouldn’t be blacklisted for reporting this? You’ve not done anything wrong
Sometimes people mistake kindness for flirting

Original poster

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 23/12/2019 12:20

I've told him I'm not interested,

OP posts:

Fr0g · 23/12/2019 12:22

you should not feel flattered when someone sexually harasses you FGS, Report it to the manager, escalate higher than that if you need to.
Block the mobile number and inform the garage you will only accept calls text reminders from the landline/another salesman who is more professional.
Alternatively, inform the garage (text or email that you retain a copy of) they do not have permission to use your mobile for calls from dodgy salesmans' mobile, but don't block it Any further texts or calls from that number can be reported to the Information Comissioners Office.

Mobiles, and whether they are personal/business can be an odd area. I bought a new car a couple of years ago, and all messages seemed to be from the individual salesman - presumably a bonus thing.

Although his bonus probably wasn't that great because the garage realised about a year after I'd bought the car that he'd undercharged me by about £1k. I would have mentioned it at the time, but I felt it made up for the fact that I was spending £20k and he was more interested in chatting to his mates than serving me, reuslting in me having to go back for stuff I'd paid for that had been missed.

I found another garage for servicing.
If the manager's response and proposed course of action isn't reasonable, say that if they don't refund the £240 you'll go to the police/office of the information commissioner.

BriefDisaster · 23/12/2019 12:30

Ok so "Weird guy at garage is sending me inappropriate messages and making me uncomfortable but I don't want to complain because of my service plan" is possibly the weirdest thing I've ever heard.

Remove the service plan from your thoughts right now and complain. He will probably get fired and you won't see him next time your car is in anyway!

You do not have to put up with harrassment to save your service plan ffs.

Complain to the garage and if they do nothing then go to the police.

Original poster

CupcakeBabaPoooo · 23/12/2019 12:32

It might be weird to you but £240 is a lot of money to me.

OP posts:

Ilovechocolate01 · 23/12/2019 12:37

Dear Manager, salesperson is sending me inappropriate messages. This is an unacceptable breach of GDPR and harassment. See attached for confirmation. I'll also be contacting the police. Please refund me the balance of my service plan.

BriefDisaster · 23/12/2019 12:37

Do you seriously not realise that complaining about this will not affect your service plan? Its a contractual agreement.
I take it this is a proper car dealership we are talking about here and not a one man band style thing?

What do you think they will do?

If he turns full blown stalker will you still just suffer it?

BriefDisaster · 23/12/2019 12:39

Im sorry OP I don't mean to be horrible I am angry on your behalf please don't let him away with it.

WeeDangerousSpike · 23/12/2019 15:04

Litwrally no one is saying you should be flattered. Everyone is saying he shouldn't be doing it. The thing is, because he's a creep he's not just going to stop on his own, he needs to be told to back the fuck off, either by you or his boss.

This is not your fault, you've done nothing wrong. But it won't fix itself, you have to make someone aware or nothing will change.

Strongmummy · 23/12/2019 15:42

How is reporting him for being a creep going to affect your relationship with the garage?!?? And why would you care in the unlikely event it did ?!

Spartonian · 23/12/2019 16:30

Agree with the above.

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