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AIBU?

Lapland disappointment

197 replies

AbagailsFancy · 23/12/2019 08:44

I know this is a first world problem but am upset and need to get perspective so would appreciate some common sense.

Took the kids (8 and 6) to see the real Santa in the Santa Village in Lapland this week. Long trip and some hard saving to get there. Lovely day in the snow, saw reindeer etc but kids were both in tears after Santa visit - huge queues, he just nodded to them and asked they sit for a photo. We tried to talk a bit but frankly were caught on the hop as he said nothing!

I’m really gutted. Not only did it put a huge damper on the day, but both are very meh about Christmas now. Am just so disappointed that this is what they’ll remember for years and just can’t shake it off.

DH thinks I’m being ridiculous and overly obsessed with everything being magical. I know (somewhere deep deep down) that he’s right but can someone please just give my head a wobble? Thank you!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1336 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
49%
You are NOT being unreasonable
51%
Pfefferkuchen · 23/12/2019 10:07

Of course YANBU OP

but it's up to you to "sell" it to your kids as said above.

You also need to remember that you cannot predict how things go with kids either. Regardless of the amount you paid, and the settings (Lapland, Disney, the local garden centre) children might be tired, in a bad mood, sick, upset about a marshmallow or a leaf... plan it to be hard work and not as "magical" as you hoped. Just go with the flow instead and enjoy yourself.
It's the only way to have the best time with your kids. You don't expect too much and are not unrealistic so you'll end up focusing on the best bits.

You don't need to be a grouch like the poster who feel too superior to "waste money on things". Grin Taking your kids away is never a waste of money!

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Bluerussian · 23/12/2019 10:08

Why were your children in tears, what did they expect? It's nice to do Christmassy things with children but you really don't have to go so far afield. I remember seeing reindeer and penguins in Sidcup some years ago :-).

Honestly, they are not going to believe in Santa (if they do now), much longer, I certainly doubt the eight year old does, it does seem as though you made an unnecessary trip. Somewhere else, maybe warmer, would have been more welcome.

Christmas can be absolutely marvellous without all those props but I am sorry your children were disappointed, and you because you really tried to make it good. They'll be over it by Wednesday and have a great time at home.

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Purpledragon40 · 23/12/2019 10:09

Sometimes holidays suck from the sounds of things this one didn't. You took your kids to see reindeers and hopefully played in the snow and generally had a good time with your kids, Santa isn't real and there is no point in trying hard to convince your kids he is.

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Birdsfoottrefoil · 23/12/2019 10:11

I saw Santa in Lapland - in August and he was on a fag break Shock Grin. It wasn’t the purpose of my trip but my hosts felt obliged to take us (adults) for an hour or so as it was their big local ‘tourist thing’. I assume it must look a lot lot more magical in the snow, but even then it must be difficult to disguise the necessary crowd management aspect.

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MarthasGinYard · 23/12/2019 10:14

I've seen many Santa's over the years on these Lapland trips.

It's always pot luck but I'd certainly avoid the Christmas.

'The dc are probably following mummy's disappointment tbh.'

Agree with this. Dd and I saw a naff one last week over here and giggled all the way home.

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MarthasGinYard · 23/12/2019 10:15

'The Christmas village'

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Pfefferkuchen · 23/12/2019 10:16

If you don't like crowds and ridiculous queues, Lapland UK is really well organised for that.

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TatianaLarina · 23/12/2019 10:18

wtaf is wrong with people? Spending 4k to piss aorund in sleighs and meeting some random bloke in a beard in a Finnish forest?

Quite. And I can’t think of anything more likely to apprise children that Santa is a con.

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M3lon · 23/12/2019 10:19

contented I think you misread my post. I didn't say people need to be billionaires to waste money on this shite, I said I would have to be a billionaire before I would waste money on this shite.

but yeah...I'm sure the OP is happy about her spending choices, as she's said in her OP that:

a) she is unhappy
b) her kids cried
c) it took hard saving to acheive this state of unhappiness and crying kids.

So do crack on as you please.

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needsahouseboy · 23/12/2019 10:20

That's such a shame and must be so upsetting for you but I would try and laugh it off with the kids. Tell them you found out he had a really bad toothache and was struggling to speak that day.

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ACouchOfOnesOwn · 23/12/2019 10:22

It's a shame you were disappointed but I agree with PPs, that the DCs will remember all the other aspects of the trip. We went a few years ago and DC (now 10) still talks about it - the huskies; the reindeer; the hot spiced juice; playing ice hockey etc. Sometimes he mentions the Santa but I wouldn't say it was the highlight of the trip. Although tbh our Santa did chat to the DCs.

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Skyejuly · 23/12/2019 10:22

I do think you are being unreasonable sorry!

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ASundayWellSpent · 23/12/2019 10:26

Am so sorry to hear you had a bad experience! My parents took me 21 years ago, just for a day trip; it was amazing! So magical from start to finish, we did reindeer sleigh rides, snowmobile, toboganning, there was a "try to meet all the elves" challenge, a snow queen... but of course the highlight was meeting Father Christmas and having a proper chat with him (I guess my parents had written down info when we got there), as he knew what I wanted for Christmas, what he had given my dad as a small boy etc. It was honestly so so magical. I am dying to take my two girls who are 5 and 2, am just hoping to get the ages right where little one is old enough to remember and enjoy but older one isn't too far out of the believing stage.

Like you I would be absolutely gutted after all that cost and build up of expectations to be let down like that, so am really sorry and sending a hug x

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alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 23/12/2019 10:28

Oh this brings back memories. When we lived in Ireland someone put on a Lapland experience. My work decided to buy tickets for everyone and their families as a Xmas treat. My son was a fairly cynical 7 or 8 year old so was really only going for the gift, but lots of people brought their tiny kids. We should have known it was going to be shiny when we saw the size of the queue! First we were corralled into a so called winter wonderland where they had put a few waltzers and bouncy castles at a fiver a pop. Then there was another queue past one sad reindeer in a cage, and a frankly terrifying mother Xmas. Half the decorations were broken, including a plastic reindeer with a broken leg. By the time we got to Santa it was a teenage boy in a too big suit, who stank of fags. And he gave my son a colouring book! Talk about shit! The council closed it down the next day and the local radio was full of complaints for weeks! But we didn’t pay for it, going all that way to Lapland for your experience would have been worse! As others have said, I’d big it up to your kids, but also complain. It’s a lot of money for something so lacklustre.

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Devereux1 · 23/12/2019 10:28

Am just so disappointed that this is what they’ll remember for years and just can’t shake it off.

They won't though will they? I have some vague memory of queuing to see Santa just once, even though I have been told I was taken every year. All I remember is how nice the room was and approaching him. I don't remember a thing about what he said.

DH thinks I’m being ridiculous and overly obsessed with everything being magical.

I'm afraid it sounds like DH is right. Smile

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halocompanach · 23/12/2019 10:28

4 grand? For a day or two? You can fly to the other side of the world and have a holiday for that!

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alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 23/12/2019 10:28

Shit not shiny ffs!

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rhubarbarkle · 23/12/2019 10:29

tell them that wasn't the real Santa

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drspouse · 23/12/2019 10:30

£4000!
YABVVVVU

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Skyejuly · 23/12/2019 10:34

All that money to meet a random man?!

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Duchessofealing · 23/12/2019 10:35

We did this two years ago (with Thomas Cook) and it was awesome, we had time alone with Santa and his elf and he chatted for a bit - it was around £2k for a day trip and my children still talk about it (not Santa, it was all about the husky rides). Sorry you had a bad experience OP - you should complain. Next year book storytelling with Father Christmas at Fortnums - it was amazing and by for the best one we’ve been to.

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Grandmi · 23/12/2019 10:35

Organise a letter from Santa apologising that he was very tired and one of his reindeer was unwell and he was worrying!!! Reindeer now fully recovered! You definitely need to rescue the situation and give your children a positive spin !

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Rubyroost · 23/12/2019 10:42
Biscuit
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Kazzyhoward · 23/12/2019 10:42

You're the parent. It's up to YOU to manage expectations. Sometimes (actually often), the "big" things in life are a disappointment. The more you big them up, the more you come crashing down. You can't "micro-manage" every aspect of your/your children's lives. You have to learn to make the best of the situation you find yourself in and pass that life-skill onto your children.

My experience is that "once if a lifetime experiences" are usually a disappointment, because you hype yourself up to such a frenzy that reality never matches your expectations.

Sorry, but I know several people who've been to Lapland, all of whom thought it was a very long way, very expensive, and a bit of a let down. That's why we didn't do it with our DS. Instead, over the years, he's seen Santa on steam trains, down in caves, on a boat in a lake, all at a fraction of the cost and within an hour from home, all including other entertainment such as carol singers, brass band, magicians, etc. Our DS always remembered the atmosphere and event rather than Santa and the present.

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Stickybeaksid · 23/12/2019 10:44

I have a bit of a different view on this so an prepare to be flamed. I think Some parents get obsessed with this idea of a magical Christmas and it means everything is a disappointment if it doesn’t work out the way it’s supposed to be. Your kids probably wouldn’t have given a shit if Santa was rude but the fact you made a big deal about it has now overshadowed everything. It was your responsibility to keep the positive attitude up and you didn’t do this. My Dh’s mum ruined every trip they ever went on by complaining and hugging publicly. It’s what he remembers from all his holidays.

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