To be angry at myself
Sadlyf · 22/12/2019 23:32
I'm 17 and Social media drains me I have loads of fake friends who I feel I need to keep in contact with however they just use me.
I'm addicted to social media. I deactivated my twitter and Facebook but keep logging back in and uninstalled Snapchat but keep going back on to see if I have messages. I have no self will and its preventing me from studying.
It's so annoying because I hate it but keep going back on it.
Any tips please to stop me from going on it
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
recklessruby · 22/12/2019 23:47
I m not 17 but found I was going on social media too much and I got really annoyed with myself about wasting hours on it so I thought well I can check it whenever I have done A B or C and when I did it would ofyen be boring/irritating anyway.
I have only got facebook now and rarely check it.
Give yourself a time limit say half an hour and you can check it but fully engage with what youre doing at the time (studying or whatever). Put phone on silent and in pocket.
Gradually build up the time off SM to break the habit.
It s a time thief.
Sadlyf · 22/12/2019 23:50
@recklessruby I hate it I have exams this year and I'm failing pretty bad and have got offers which I thought would motivate me but they haven't. During GCSE'S I was on top form coming back home straight on studying because I had no phone and my grades reflected that.
I always feel the urge to keep up with fake friends and make them 'like' me when they never will. It's just draining but I go on it day in day out.
I just hate it
jessyjo2 · 22/12/2019 23:52
I spent far too much time on Facebook so I move the app around on my phone so I don't click into it out of habit. Almost like I'm playing tricks on myself!!
Btw u are special, we all are. No matter how few or many friends we have, God loves us all so so much, more than we can ever imagine.
recklessruby · 23/12/2019 00:23
@sadlyf You in sixth form? Please dont throw your exams for fake friends! They wont be there for you if it all goes wrong.
Year 13 is awful, I remember feeling pretty insecure and disconnected from a lot of people.
BUT if you pass your exams and go to uni you can literally start again. New people in the same situation as you, real friends you often have for life.
You sound stressed/depressed and stuck somehow.
Please delete fake friends and ignore. You are the important one right now, not someone who s surname you will struggle to remember in 5 years time.
MissMoan · 23/12/2019 00:24
Social media can provide instant, meaningless gratification. But it doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't last. Do the things that are worth sharing on Social Media- then you'll be too busy experiencing things to post. As @recklessruby said, gradually build up the time off screen. Small steps are much easier than a giant leap. Good luck OP.
SSc45 · 23/12/2019 00:27
Honestly you are worth so much more than fake messages & friends!! Why don't you watch some YouTube videos about the phycology behind Facebook & Social Media, look up "ted talks" and get working on your self esteem! Then maybe you won't feel the drive once you understand it all on a different level?
Obviously that's going to eat into time as well but think of it as life revision and then crack on with your exam stuff.
Society puts so much pressure on young people these days and it's totally backwards, social media can't convince us were doing okay it's up to us xxxx
Sadlyf · 23/12/2019 00:32
@recklessruby my Dr referred me for counselling because I have other stressors like close family deaths and infertility. However they keep referring me to different people and its going to take 3 weeks before I even have an assessment. It's just annoying and completely draining because I can't revise and I'm failing bad but I have offers for my dream course
SSc45 · 23/12/2019 00:38
Look how much support you've gotten from here and were in the cough dare I say it "old and boring class" haha!!! Although I'm not that old!! You've come to the right place... If you feel better after clocking out of here over Facebook tonight then our job is done 😊 you don't get fake here!!!
AnnaFiveTowns · 23/12/2019 00:39
Don't beat yourself up.about it. I'm 48 and find social media highly addictive; I waste loads of time on it. It's crap though and not good for your mental health. Try reading Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig, he talks about how toxic nd fake social media really is. It might give you the incentive to cut down on it. I'm thinking of closing some of my accounts in the new year - I'm not sure how long that will last!
recklessruby · 23/12/2019 00:43
@sadlyf counselling always takes time. You can self refer to Mind the mental health charity I think.
I have trained in counselling as part of pastoral care and CBT could help you.
It gives you tools to banish negative automatic thoughts and change self defeating behaviour but I think you only get 6 weeks on nhs.
They give you "homework " too which is helpful so it s a step by step thing.
I m sorry you re going through so much so young but it is fixable.
I failed my A levels due to loads of time off (anorexia) but resat the following year, passed and went to uni.
What helped me was REAL friends. Do you have people you truly trust and love?
YoungHun · 23/12/2019 00:55
Bless you. You have a lot of insight into yourself which is amazing at 17!
You recognise you have a problem, I have a problem too, that's why I'm on MN at bloody 00:52!
Can you set a lock on your phone so you can only use it during certain times, ask one of your parents to put the passcode in.
In fact I may just ask my daughter to do that to my phone!!
Teenage years are Shit, you just want everyone to like you. By the time you get in your 50s you really don't care. And god knows how I'll be in my 70s I'm bad enough now!
Knuckle down and get back on it! You'll pass those A levels with flying colours!!
CSIblonde · 23/12/2019 02:27
17 is such a difficult age, so many pressures with exams, peer groups etc . As pp said, I'd work on your self esteem. I also find writing positive things on post it's & leaving them where I can see them motivates me & boosts my confidence as I have a tendency to put myself down. So I'd put 'study is more important than fake friends' by your phone/laptop etc & then notes re your best qualities by the mirror & on your desk: ' I'm kind, hardworking & organised' for example. The psychology term for the notes is 'positive affirmations'. They really work for me. Its easy to get into a downward spiral of negative thoughts if you're feeling a bit low.
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