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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I have anything to apologise for?

2 replies

waytheleaveswork · 22/12/2019 20:47

I left an abusive marriage in 2018 and disclosed the abusive behaviour to a close friend of 10 years who had also become DH's friend. I cut all contact with DH but she continued to see him (which was hard, but I recognised that he had not done anything wrong to her).

I then discovered that DH was in a relationship with my friend's housemate. I had been updating my friend about the divorce/ my game plan, and she did not tell me she was in a compromised position.

When I told her I knew, she told me how hard it had been for her and that she didn't have any allegiances and wanted to be friends with both of us.

I then ended the friendship over email - nothing angry or aggressive, but explaining that I had to take a step back for my own well being and privacy as I continued to fight for a divorce. Other friends find my decision to do this bizarre and cruel - for me, it felt like what I had to do to keep my sanity. My friend told other joint friends how devastated she was at my decision.

I saw her today at a party but did not approach her. My now EX DH is still with her housemate and I don't think there's any more to be said.

I acknowledge that in the trauma of leaving an abusive marriage and getting a divorce, I may have acted in a way that seems unkind towards her.

Do you think I should apologise for the hurt I have caused?
AIBU in thinking I haven't been the one in the wrong here?

OP posts:
NoHummus · 22/12/2019 20:51

I don't think you have got anything to apologise for. You acted to protect yourself in a difficult situation, there is nothing wrong with that at all. Flowers

waytheleaveswork · 22/12/2019 21:05

Thank you.
I mostly feel like that, then other friends tell me how upset she is and I feel terrible.

OP posts:
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