I love catching up my old coworker (let’s call her Mary) who is married with 3 children. But she lives quite far (1.5 hrs away) and I always have to go to her when we meet up. On the rare occasion she meets me halfway, she always invites another coworker (Mandy) we used to work with. Mary hasn’t said this explicitly but I suspect it’s because she is packing up the kids and leaving the house so she might as well hit two birds with one stone and see everyone while she’s out. I’m not a fan of Mandy because she still works at our former workplace and she is very negative. She loves to complain about all the things that are wrong with her job. I personally cannot relate because the minute I felt the toxicity, I left. I have no sympathy for people who choose to stay in a toxic work environment and do nothing about it (I know Mandy’s situation and she can leave but she is comfortable there and doesn’t want to even though she hates her job). I want to chat with Mary about life, her kids and upcoming plans but when Mandy is with us, she redirects the conversation to work and I rather just not be in her company. How do I let Mary know that I only want to see her and not the other coworker? AIBU to ask this of her?