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So scared

14 replies

SippingTea · 22/12/2019 05:58

My two year old DS has a lump in his thigh and I’m so scared. We were referred for an ultrasound and he had it yesterday after a three and a half week wait (during which I carried on as normal whilst feeling like I was in a nightmare).

They don’t know what it is and want to monitor it and see him again in 6-8 weeks. I suffer badly from health anxiety and I’m already catastrophizing about this. I’m trying to remind myself of what the sonographer said - that there are no indicators that it is cancer - but the fact that he said can’t reassure me completely (as they don’t know what it is) has sent my anxiety into overdrive. My memory is hazy but I’m sure he said it was hard to determine whether it was a cyst or a neurofibromas ( which a quick google reveals is a generally non-cancerous tumour) but then said he can’t be sure which is why we need to look at it again in a few weeks.

Is it normal to be this worried? My mind keeps throwing up numerous detailed scenarios and I feel like I’m in hell. Is this the health anxiety? Is this an overreaction? Surely if they were worried they’d want to see him again sooner or be sending him for a biopsy? The consultant said that they are being cautious because he is a child. I’m trying to be rational and talk myself down but I need help. Can anyone reassure me or at least help me be less reactive to this? I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next 8 weeks.... I had been hoping and praying that we’d go and it would all be fine and we could finally enjoy the last little run up to Christmas (I’ve been on autopilot these last few weeks) but I spent yesterday wandering the crowds with him in the buggy just feeling like I was in a bubble of misery and fear. Please can you talk some sense into me and help me get a grip? AIBU for being so worried? I just need to get out of this head space and into a more rational one.

Only positive stories/comments please, I’m already freaking out enough!

OP posts:
fligglepige · 22/12/2019 06:03

My health visitor always says look at the bigger picture. A small child won't be seriously unwell without any symptoms. Is he generally well in himself? Good colour, full of beans, hearty appetite?

DeathStare · 22/12/2019 06:07

This is going to sound completely stupid but watch a few episodes of Dr. Pimple Popper. She deals with these lumps all the time. They rarely turn out to be anything to worry about.

SnorkMaiden81 · 22/12/2019 06:07

Honestly, they've literally said they think it's probably nothing!

YES, they'd be all over him if they thought he was ill.

Honestly, and with the greatest of respect and empathy- I suggest you book an appointment with your GP to discuss two things- getting a sooner appointment for your son (to help alleviate your anxiety), and your anxiety.

Inittowinit2020 · 22/12/2019 06:28

Ha! I was going to say you're completely normal feeling this worried, so there you go!

I, too, think a child would be obviously I'll though.

Throw yourself into the moment, op. Make it a great Christmas!

Bobbiepin · 22/12/2019 06:40

3.5 weeks for a scan and up to 8 weeks for a follow up? He's likely fine. Anything to worry about and he'd had the scan within two weeks and a follow up within days.

Jajabinksfeetstink · 22/12/2019 06:41

I can see why you are worried and I would be too but surely if they had any concerns you would not be waiting 6-8 weeks to see him again?

SippingTea · 22/12/2019 07:02

Thank you all so much for your replies. They mean so much and are bringing me back from the edge. @figglepige yes I agree and I’ve heard similar in the past. Thank you for reminding me of that. He’s been under the weather a couple of times in recent weeks but just coughs/colds/earache and has bounced back quickly enough. There’s a lot going around.

@snorkmaiden81 Thank you, I completely understand where you’re coming from and you’re right. I actually did have an appointment with my GP earlier this week about some worries about my own health. He felt the same as you and recommended medication. I’ve been on it before though and suffered terribly with auditory issues like ringing ears (like a hair dryer blasting in my ear, even after I stopped taking them) so I’m reluctant but I realise it’s getting to the point where I need to risk the side effects in order to manage the anxiety and gain some quality of life.

Thanks @bobbiepin - it was a two week referral but I think we got lost on the system as I had to chase. The GP did say, however, that she was only doing a two week referral as otherwise we’d be waiting for months. She thought it was probably a cyst.

@Inittowinit2020 yes. I need to calm down and throw myself into the festivities. I’ve been faking it for my son and he’s loving every minute of the run up. If I can relax a bit maybe I can stop faking and actually enjoy a few moments here and there.

It’s like I HAVE to jump to the worst case scenario. To prepare myself? To avoid tempting fate by assuming all will be okay? I don’t know...

I don’t have a huge support system so these messages are a massive help. Please keep them coming!

Oh and thanks @DeathStare I’ll give that a look.

OP posts:
nanbread · 22/12/2019 07:14

I can get anxious about things like this, I ask myself these sorts of questions, try to listen to and really absorb the answers, and breathe!

Will worrying about it help you or your son?

Will it make any difference to any outcome?

What's the most likely outcome?

What's the best outcome?

What's one thing you can do today to make you feel a bit better and happier?

Are you practising good self care?

hardyloveit · 22/12/2019 08:10

Op (won't let me tag you) I honestly don't think it's cancer.
My dd has cancer and they could tell from the scan. She was sent for an emergency biopsy etc. If they thought for one second it COULD be then they would defiantly NOT wait 6-8 weeks to scan again. They would do a biopsy and a ct scan. Please try not to worry. If it could be anything serious they really would investigate sooner than 6-8 weeks

SippingTea · 22/12/2019 08:12

@nanbread that’s massively helpful. Thank you. I’m asking myself those questions and it’s helping me gain some perspective. Statistically it’s unlikely to be anything serious. I keep repeating that to myself.

OP posts:
SippingTea · 22/12/2019 08:20

@hardyloveit I’m so so sorry about your poor daughter. That’s absolutely awful. I really feel for you and can’t believe your generosity in taking steps to reassure someone else when you’re going through something so awful. Thank you. Your words have helped enormously and I’ll keep re-reading your post to keep myself in check. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you. What you’re going through is unimaginable and to take a moment to help me when you have all this going on is beyond kind. Thank you and I really do wish your daughter well. 💐

OP posts:
hardyloveit · 22/12/2019 08:38

That's okay! Don't be sorry! She's now in remission. But honestly as hard as it is try not to worry. My DH found lumps in his thigh and groin. They took them out after a wait for an op and still weren't 100% sure. Most likely some type of cyst.
Hope your child is okay!

SippingTea · 22/12/2019 09:27

@hardyloveit I’m so pleased to hear she is in remission. This must have been a dreadful time for all of you. The story about your DH is reassuring as well. I guess lots of people have odd lumps that aren’t identifiable. Doesn’t always mean cancer. Thank you again for your generosity and I really wish the best for all of you.

OP posts:
Bobbiepin · 22/12/2019 10:06

I live a lot of my life by "prepare for the worst, hope for the best". Unlikely as it is, take a short time to prepare and have that knowledge to help you stop. You have done what you can, now put it to one side until you know more. Hopefully it will have been completely unnecessary except for allowing you some head space.

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