How do you cope with differing political leanings from DH?!

[Sillysausageandeggs]

Hubby used to be a solid Labour party member. Over the last 10 years this has shifted. Tonight at a dinner party with friends he pounced on me, telling me I sounded like a Labour party advert for defending the NHS. I am now questioning our whole marriage! He seems so far more right wing than ever these days. How do I cope with someone who is so obviously opposite me in terms of political beliefs and world views?! AIBU for questioning our marriage because of politics?!

@vikkimoog

Thats a fair comment but why be a 'shy tory' if your convictions of a particular party are so strong that you vote for them - maybe it's shame from backing a despicable party with despicable policies towards the most vulnerable people in society - this in my opinion is indefensible.

@Nippybutsweet
I know how you feel, I was campaigning for my local SNP MP and have been called a cunt, fenian, IRA scum etc by lovely Tory supporters. After the polls closed we had a get together to watch the results and my friend a Lab supporter was warmly welcomed and included, definitely wouldn’t happen at a Tory get together 🙄🙄

I think this is more of a reflection of the social circles you mix in.
Firstly, the people I know personally are the type to have been taught it's bad manners to discuss politics so this doesn't tend to come up.
secondly, they're certainly not the type to call anybody a cunt or spit at people.
Maybe start knocking about with people who aren't complete scroats?

Self confessed Tory voters, and told to vote Tory by their superiors - well known fact up here and scotland's shame

I personally saw a flyer distributed instructing them who to vote for at one of their knuckle dragging 'walks'.

So no, as much as I wish it was made up, it really very sadly is a reality.

www.glasgowtimes.co.uk/news/18115188.amp/

nippybutsweet it was me who said that not vicky.
I believe in who I vote for (don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty wrong with the tories)
I just don’t appreciate being called an ignorant selfish cunt for voting for a legitimate political party so I choose not to discuss it. I wouldn’t lie if asked though.

I think that if he became really right wing as he got older then it would be difficult for your relationship, but Lib Dems are still one of the progressive parties.

Having slightly different views of certain issues while still being in the same quadrant of the political compass (the quiz on the Political Compass website is really interesting) can make for a healthy relationship. If you have identical opinions on every single issue, there's not so much to talk about.

@vikkimoog

I categorically do not socialise in any circles like this, but, unfortunately most people who have work to get to, places to go don't get the option of avoiding it. Sad but true.

Perhaps it's worth questioning if it's you that's moved politically, rather than him? Labour under Corbyn have shifted to the left, when they previously had just been left of centre, a political area now represented by the LibDems.

The Labour supporter position that the only 2 health care options are the NHS as it stands or US style system does seem childish to many people who have experienced Health Care systems in France, Germany etc where they manage without an NHS carbon copy and also without people being bankrupted by medical bills.

(For what its worth, I do think the NHS is worth defending, but going on about it after the election does seem like you might be a bit of a lefty bore, the left version of the blokes proping up golf club bars in shiny buttoned blazers complaining about all these eastern Europeans)

If my husband had voted for Donald Trump I would have left him.

I absolutely love my husband and hes amazing. But thinking 'grabbing women by the pussy' was ok would have been a deal breaker for me.

@Smileyaxolotl1

So you believe that this is acceptable for any candidate of any party?

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/conservatives-candidate-general-election-disabled-people-money-sally-ann-hart-a9235281.html%3famp

I personally could not align myself with anything to do with a party that allows it's candidate's to profess such backward, nasty and downright cuntery as that.

@JKScot4

I've heard this as rumour from a friend who is a local SNP councillor - does not surprise me in the slightest and that's the really unfortunate thing - wouldn't it be great if we were already out of this Westminster shit show already 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I don’t agree with everything every individually Tory says, no. That was not a party policy and she is not my MP so it’s not relevant.
Assuming you are SNP from your comments did you agree with Nicola Sturgeon’s display of joy at the loss of Jo Swindon’s seat? Probably not if you are as caring and compassionate as you say.
There will always be aspects of and people within parties that you don’t agree with. I wouldn’t expect a labour voter to have to justify voting for a party whose members have declared ‘all white people are racist’ either.

@smiley
Please stop with the oh look at Sturgeon celebrating, complete non issue if it was a man, nothing was said about Boris doing it.
It was a great win for Amy Callaghan and SNP. Would you rather she was like Boris who walks by homeless people laughing?
Off you go 🙄

*Swinson not Swindon 😉

@Nippybutsweet
Not rumour, happened to many activists 🙁
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Saor Alba 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@Smileyaxolotl1
How is it not relevant when the party you voted for has not condemned the individual that made that statement! seriously?

@JKScot4
Exactly, on all points you made 👏👏👏

I honestly feel despair at the state of the government we are forced to, yet again, be governed by.

Soar Alba, Alba gu bràth 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

We just don't talk about it, some things or agree on but others we don't

DH and I are polar opposites when it comes to politics and Europe. We either don’t discuss it or we don’t ‘rise to it’

We did bond this year over our mutual derision of Swinson and the LibDems in general though, and that was nice

I totally agree with both of you about Scottish independence though.
Off you go....

YANBU.

I could never share my bed/home/life with a Tory. I don't have any Tory friends.

Why do you think his values have taken such a drop?

My recent ex went from not voting but leaning towards Tory in conversation to joining the Labour Party once he realised what was happening in schools and NHS.

If I had ever met a Tory voter who didnt basically think that it is okay for people to die to meet capitalist ideals of how society should be then I would say it is possible for us to be friends or more. But when asked they usually say that we have had to make these cuts to get out of debt and ignore the real damage the cuts do to people's lives in the meantime.

But the OP said her DH isnt a Tory, he voted LibDem, and told her to stop going on about the NHS at a social event after the election. (Not in front of the others)

It does sound like the OP was being a bit of a bore!

I can see why it might look like hes shifted his views, but the labour party used to be a broad church, with those from the Corbyn left side and the Blairite just left of centre types, to all the stages inbetween.

The OPs dh might have always voted labour before from a political view point closer to the centre ground than the OP, whereas now the Labour Party have shifted to the left and not taken the just left of centre people with them, it might look like hes the one who has changed his views, when it's just the Labour party no longer represent people like him.