Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not wrap MIL's presents?

61 replies

Zoidbergonthehalfshell · 21/12/2019 21:30

I have done most of the decorating, food and present shopping, and have made a start on wrapping some presents. As DH's contribution to Christmas thus far has been to get the decorations out of the garage and plug in the outside lights, I thought it would be nice if he at least wrapped his Mum's presents - we're seeing her tomorrow.

He eventually rolled in from playing with his new car about an hour ago, made a big song and dance about finding the paper, and the scissors, and the sellotape, and has proceeded to get sellotape stuck to everything, tear big holes in the paper, and generally get himself into a thoroughly unpleasant mood, ending up ripping all the paper off his latest attempt, balling it up, throwing it across the room and giving up, all the while making comments like, "you're so good at this...", and "be nice to me, I'm really struggling."

I've sweetly suggested he leaves it and comes back to it in the morning. It's bleedin' obvious that what he wants is for me to take over and do it for him, poor lamb. AIBU not to offer unless he actually asks me, using his words, including the "please" one?

OP posts:
TreeSwayer · 21/12/2019 22:10

There are thousands of videos on YouTube showing you how to wrap a present. He could start there.

Dh and I wrap presents together but he is good at it now

I love wrapping presents but so does Dh, hence the sharing. But if he is really struggling you could help him, not do it, but help, instruct, demonstrate.

eatyourcake · 21/12/2019 22:14

Don't do it!

My hubby the other day wanted me to write a card for his parents who live abroad, in a foreign language I don't speak, or did he want it in English, which they don't speak.. Hmm didn't think this through, did he!

SandAndSea · 21/12/2019 22:18

Could you offer to do it in return for him doing something else?

Either that or tell him to look on YouTube for instructions.

mumwon · 21/12/2019 22:21

second him buying a gift bag - lazy blighter!

FreeStar · 21/12/2019 22:29

When I married DH his family became mine and vice versa. I often wrap the presents because I like it and I want them to look a certain way and I think I'm better at it. I sometimes buy presents for his parents, especially Mil because I'm more likely to know what she likes, and sometimes I ask him to buy something for my dad because he knows about the stuff he's interested in better than me.

All this refusing to buy presents for each other's parents is very strange to me. And if I'm wrapping the presents then I'm wrapping them all- not just wrapping my own parents and leaving his. So infantile.

SunshineCake · 21/12/2019 22:32

Tell him it is not sexy that he can't do a task a seven year old can do.

KickAssAngel · 21/12/2019 22:32

I consider it part of my parental duty to teach DD things like this. IF his mum never taught him, then her gift doesn't get wrapped.

I'm sure once he realizes that you really won't do it for him, he'll magically make an adequate show, probably followed by proudly showing mummy what a clever boy he's been.

Havaina · 21/12/2019 22:37

So infantile.

But OP doesn't like wrapping. Seeing as your doling out insults, you sound like a Stepford Wife. I love my MIL and sometimes buy her presents too, but my husband is perfectly capable of buying and wrapping her presents and does it well. Stop infantalising your husband.

FreeStar · 21/12/2019 22:42

I'm not infantilising my husband. He's perfectly capable of wrapping and has wrapped all dd's presents with me tonight.

Giraffey1 · 21/12/2019 22:43

You know, men manage to wrap things up, sometimes even without the help of YouTube! They managed to do these things before the internet ....

MrsTumbletap · 21/12/2019 22:49

But he must wrap your present surely?? So he knows how to do it.

Doing it for him let's him continue to be a manchild. Don't do it.

MissPepper8 · 21/12/2019 22:50

Nope.. Always do it, DH never wraps his mother's presents and this year is no different. So me the mug here wrapped them beautifully, ribbon, curls and bows ect (we see PIL boxing day) and then MIL presents came today..

In amazon boxes, not even in gift bags, and we opened them not knowing 😐

Bowerbird5 · 21/12/2019 22:50

Trade it for washing up on Christmas Day.

Personally I would do it for MIL sake.

WaxOnFeckOff · 21/12/2019 23:00

I'd do it but make him do something else instead. And make him do that first/

Equanimitas · 21/12/2019 23:09

If you do end up doing it, make sure you swap it for several other tasks, including all the washing up.

SunshineAngel · 21/12/2019 23:10

Do you have a tape dispenser? If so, I see no reason he could possibly be getting into such a mess. If not, definitely get one - unless he's dyspraxic or something that does actually make it difficult.

My DP is lucky in that I enjoy wrapping presents, so I always do his for him. In fact, I've done them tonight! When I see the state of how his presents to me are wrapped, it makes me very glad that I did!! :D

elliejjtiny · 21/12/2019 23:17

Do it but exchange the job for something you hate. My dh does most of the wrapping in our house because he is much better and quicker at it than me. I do all the cards because I remember everyone's names and he hasn't a clue what his cousin's wife is called or their dc.

ellendegeneres · 21/12/2019 23:20

Dp has me doing his kids birthdays and Christmas 😂 I don’t mind, it’s when he starts randomly cutting at paper and I have to point out he’s done it far to small and I can manage that he looks like he’s going to throw a tantrum 😂 I send him off to do something useful for me instead most of the time (we don’t live together so no sharing out house duties)

In your position op I don’t blame you, I’d definitely make him do it himself! You’ve done plenty, this is his turn to do something

Durgasarrow · 21/12/2019 23:22

No you do not have to wrap his mother's presents. This is not a hill to die on, it's just not a reason for you to get up from your cozy chromebook.

BlackCatSleeping · 21/12/2019 23:22

Negotiation time. If you do it, what will he do for you?

Fr0g · 21/12/2019 23:37

suggest a swap for a task you usually do?
eg -i'll wrap up the present if you do the ironong/unload the dishwasher/whatever?

Drizzzle · 21/12/2019 23:41

Is it a tricky shape?

Minxmumma · 21/12/2019 23:43

I refuse to wrap a darn thing. Dh does twiddle all else towards Xmas except getting the decs out of the loft - he's a bit territorial about the loft Grin. I do everything else.
So he has to wrap every single other thing except his own presents. I hate wrapping so it seems a fair compromise even if he does occasionally get in a faff with funny shapes.

Goatinthegarden · 22/12/2019 00:03

I LOVE wrapping. My ex bf and I used to compete to give one another the most beautifully wrapped gifts.

DH, on the other hand, can wrap, but does it in the most basic fashion. I’d rather wrap all the gifts myself. If you’re much better and/or quicker than him, why not just send him off to do some different chores (ones you really don’t want to do) whilst you wrap.

FinallyHere · 22/12/2019 00:50

Tissue paper, gift bag. Next.

Even DH can wrap gifts now.