It’s the most wonderful time of the year....Apparently. AIBU to find Xmas with young kids so hard?

[Knoxinbox]

Just that really. Have 5 year old DD recently diagnosed with ASD and a 16 month old DS who seems to be going through the most destructive, suicidal, rough stage! Just constantly on the go into everything, but also so clingy and screams at me almost all day long. Doesn’t sleep so well and BF a lot. Just so rough with me, scratches and pulls my hair out :(

DD finding Xmas overstimulating I think even though we are trying to keep everything super low key.

We’ve all been really ill recently too. DH works all hours and I’m a SAHM so on my own with the kids a lot. No family near by and wouldn’t want their help anyway as they are so difficult!

Just having a pity party after a difficult day. And dreaming wistfully of my old pre-children life of Xmas parties, lie ins, lying around eating chocolates drinking wine and watching Xmas films with DH. Lovely long haul holidays or weekends away together.

I often feel like I’ve disappeared and just exist for the DC now. DD only in school part time because she can’t cope with more.

AIBU not to be feeling particularly xmasy?

I'm feeling it too this year. I have a five year old and three year old twins and I already feel completely over it, and then in the same breath feel incredibly guilty because I should be cherishing these christmases while they are small :( but the five year old just constantly winds up the twins and they are really whiny which is not normally like them at all.

I so want everything to be lovely but I've just been a horrible shouting banshee these last few days!! Everyones attitude is terrible I feel like crawling under a rock and hiding until new year.

I think the pressure is so high for everything to be lovely, its exhausting. Hasnt helped that school have been in full on Christmas mode since the first week of december I think my five year old has peaked too soon...

Sending hugs to everyone struggling, nearly there now! Xx

My now 18yr old DS is autistic and has always loved xmas but found it really stressful too. Loves the lights and decorations but has never been able to sleep xmas eve some years we were still calming him at 1.30am. You will get through it and it will get easier.

told my DS1 this when he was about 3 and was restless and couldn't settle to anything and got in a mood and he decided Christmasitis described how he felt and calmed right down.

This describes my three year old perfectly! He's already over stimulated by it all. Plus so hard to keep to routine and he's already missing his pre-school/toddler group friends.

I'm exhausted, DD (20 month) is recovering from a chest infection that almost caused a stay in hospital and DS, DH and I all have colds.

Agree there's a lot of pressure to make it perfect and 'make memories'.

The only good things about us all being poorly is that it's forced me to slow down.

I'm not coping well at all. I'm single parent to 5yo. He wont eat, says he hates me, wont leave house. I've got 2 weeks of this until school starts.

I hated last xmas for same reason. It's shit.

Ah the reality of parenting that no one ever puts on instagram 😐
I remember it well. It’s bloody hard work. It sounds like you’re doing a great job. It will get easier. Hand on in there. Big hugs 💐

Not just you OP! I have a 17 month old who won't sit still. I love her dearly, but my god she's hard work at times! I am fantasising about a Xmas day all alone in bed. I feel guilty feeling like that, but she exhausts me. She literally doesn't stop.

@spingly
Oh I get it, children struggle being out of routine and that impacts everyone.
I am childfree, but just want to say that I actively refused routine as a child. Every child is different

OP we to have a dd that has ASD ( and a DS with ADHD and ASD) its a tough time of year particularly at her age.

Mine are 13 and 11 and we have our routines now, we know what works and what doesn't in the main but its a long journey... we bought her Xmas dinner today- microwave macaroni cheese! It will make her very happy and if she is we are!

We still have many meltdowns ( mine included!) but it is so much easier..

Give yourself permission to have a cry, read a book, whatever will make you feel better and I promise it will get easier..

Hate to say it but I'm glad I'm not alone, DD 6 has been so much hard work behaviour wise lately that I feel like I don't even like her very much right now (cue MASSIVE mum guilt) DS 2 wants attention and to play a lot, I'm 6 months pregnant and feel so exhausted. DH has been practically living at work it seems and I just couldn't feel less christmassy if I tried. I know alot of people have it alot worse but like PP said it gets shoved down your throat of this happy calm perfect family Christmas that you just feel shit when it isn't. Had a good cry on the landing last night as was just so fed up of it all

Hugs all.... Hang on in there!!

I have 1 with ASD, 1 with ASD and ADHD and 1 with Dyspraxia and strong ASD traits ( has ASD but we cant face going there yet !) The older they get - all KS 2 now - the more I realize the less I try to make Christmas special the better it is as everyone relaxes. We have had a pretty much normal evening except for putting the mince pies out and new pjs, and christmas day sort of does it's own thing, with no must dos and pressure. We have reached this point after some absolute shockers when we tried to make Christmas day what we thought the children 'should' enjoy. It's ok to say its crap and isnt working. The feeling it must be perfect just makes it worse. If you can try and get a few good bits to remember that's a win !