Or is OH uncaring?

[toggenberg]

Hi, my first post.
Don`t know if this was an over reaction or not.

This afternoon I noticed two men trying the doors to a shed which is locked and is owned by neighbours who are away just now.
I told OH who was reading something on his phone in the lounge.
He told me that this had happened before and that he had confronted two men there the week before. They had threatened him (verbally) and he told them he would call the police as it was someone else`s property. They then ran off.

He told me there wasnt any point in doing anything today as we didnt `know if these men were doing anything wrong or not and did not want to confront them anyway.

I said I would go and speak to them and he told me to "go on then" and returned to his phone.

They had gone by the time I reached the shed, but I was annoyed with my OH for appearing so unconcerned with my possible safety, even if they had only used threatening language.

AIBU?

It sounds as though he’d explained to you why he wasn’t going to go out there, but you kept on at him (as if you weren’t really listening maybe?) and his dismissive reply may have stemmed from that. I’m glad you didn’t end up in any danger though and that you reported it to the police. Do you know when neighbours are back?

My H let me go out and confront 2 young men with baseball bats, who were threatening someone, while he hid behind the curtains pretending to call the police.
He is my ExH now.
Although I was able to handle the situation myself, I must admit it didn't show him in the best light.
Unfortunately not the only time he was shown in a poor light, although it was, thankfully, the only incident involving weapons

hazell42, I think mine would do exactly the same! he doesnt like confrontation of any kind, physical (dont blame him for that) or verbal.

That would piss me off. The apathy to start with, then the shrugging disinterest in my safety.

he wouldnt want to confront them himself again but didnt ask me not to go.

Get a grip. If you’d come on here saying you were going to accost some criminals but your husband told you you shouldn’t go, everyone would be saying how controlling he was. You’re both adults with free will.

He told you they threatened him, yet you them wanted to go and confront them yourself? Why?!!

Why didn't you just phone the police?

He doesnt care about you does he? Has he demonstrated this in other ways?

Am I the only one wondering what’s in the sheds?

They threatened him. There's two of them and one of him. He let you know they could be dangerous.

They're much more likely to assault a man than a middle aged (judging by your 'we're not young' comment) woman.

It someone gets robbed, they can claim on their insurance. That sounds harsh but sometimes it's not worth the risk.

hazell42 your XH 'let' you threaten folk with a baseball bat and he's the one being shown in a bad light? Do you have no personal responsibility?

'Let you' indeed.

You knew as much about the situation as DH did, and had taken the choice to go out and speak to the men. I don't think it's the place of another adult to make decisions on your behalf about whether it's safe or not. Actually if this happened to me and DH and DH told me not to go, I'd probably be annoyed at him!

hazell42 your XH 'let' you threaten folk with a baseball bat and he's the one being shown in a bad light?
Hazel went to stop them hitting someone with the bat. I didn't read she had the bat.
I can see your DHs point OP. Teo fela are much more likely to hit a male approaching them than a woman.
There is generally a bigger threat between the same sex.

@jamdhanihash 🤣 picturing hazel with a bat now.

Oops 😂 sorry hazell