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AIBU?

To ask for tips on how to stop loving someone?

3 replies

PolarBearStare · 21/12/2019 18:56

I haven’t felt this way about anyone before. Usually have a passing interest then it drops off as I spend time with them or if it’s been a relationship I get over it within a few months.

This is someone I’ve been friends with for about 4 years. Been in love with him for nearly 3. Told him about a year ago, we had a short relationship but he decided he didn’t want to continue. I’ve accepted that we’ll never have a relationship but I still love him.

Not seeing him would mean giving up all my friendship group. I can see other people without him sometimes but don’t want to always have to miss out on big nights out with everyone to not see him.

How can I stop feeling like this? I like being around him and spending time with him but when I go home I end up feeling sad about him. I want to be able to be friends with him without having feelings for him. Is this possible? Has anyone else managed to do this and if so how?

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 21/12/2019 23:22

Not easy. Be kind to yourself. Wait for your heart to catch up with your head. Xx

MaButterface · 22/12/2019 10:56

Find someone better. And stop romanticising him in your head. He might be a great friend but he could be a terrible partner.

IncrediblySadToo · 22/12/2019 11:01

I agree with madbutterface

And you’ve already tried to have a relationship with him that didn’t work (for him at least).

It’s very difficult because of your group of friends, but maybe you need to start making other friends and arranging for just some of this group to do things... be honest with yourself - are the big nights out you don’t want to miss really just an excuse to be with him?

You’re making it harder on yourself seeing him all the time.

Time is the only real cure, but even then it’s not a given.

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