To be annoyed at my parents

[mamma536]

We went on holiday with DF and DM that coincided with a big birthday for DF. My parents regularly holiday at this resort and have observed the waiters singing happy birthday and giving cake to birthday guests, and said they weren't sure if they knew it was DF's birthday.

So I had a quiet word with the resort beforehand, got cake and candles ready. The resort said they would bring it out after dessert, which is what they normally do. I wasn't expecting it to be much of a surprise, just a nice moment.

Well throughout the meal my parents were talking about whether the resort knew about his birthday or not, getting more and more frustrated and down about it as the meal went on with no singing waiters emerging. So I told my parents that we'd confirmed it with the resort but that news didn't seem to make them happy either. Especially as the singing waiters then sang to another guest first - super awkward. (There were 3 birthdays in total.)

I don't know what my AIBU is - only that with some people you can't win! And that the lesson is I should bring the cake and candles out at the beginning of the meal, not the end, given the importance my parents place on a resort remembering their birthday! 🙄🙄🙄

Sounds like your parents expected the staff to remember them and somehow know themselves that it was df’s birthday. Perhaps because they told them last year or give them what they consider to be large tips (which may not be that large if DP are old and thinking five quid is a lot more than they tipped in 1970 and the waiter should be impressed etc...)

They would have been upset if they hadnt remembered.

They were upset because you reminded them so now they’ll never know if the staff remembered or not. And how very dare the staff sing happy birthday to another table first, tsk!

So you totally couldn’t have won that one! It was kind of you to be so thoughtful though

Oh OP... I've been there. My DParents used to visit the same resort every year and sometimes more frequently. I visited with them once and there was a very awkward conversation where they introduced me to the waiters and clearly expected the waiters to remember all the details they had shared of their lives/my life.... they expected the waiters to remember my children's names... never having met them, from having been shown photos a year previously. I "helped out" the awkwardness and told the waiters my children's names and my parents got the hump because they were sure the waiters would have known the names if I hadn't filled in the awkward silence. I have tried explaining to my DParents until I'm blue in the face that thousands of customers go through the resort every year and while the waiters may remember my DParents faces and maybe some vague details, they are not actually close friends who would remember the names of grandchildren they had never met. My DParents were most offended as clearly they are very special customers and the waiters would remember every detail if I hadn't stepped in to fill the silence.

As others have said, you can't do right for doing wrong here!