AIBU to think this is stealing and she's a thief in disguise?

[cuppaanyday]

This happened last Eid, but it has always been on my mind so would love to hear your opinions on this. On Eid late afternoon we got invited to DHs friends house, it was me, DH, our children, MIL/SIL, friends wife and baby in the house. DH and his friend went out for a bit to sort something out. We’re all sitting in the living room nibbling on food DHs friend has brought out to us. MIL goes into the kitchen to make tea, a bit later I go to use the bathroom and I can see MIL taking things out from the cupboard and putting in her bag, I ask her what’s she’s doing and she goes ‘ it’s fine, he said we could help ourselves’ AIBU to think this does not mean putting several chocolate blocks and other treats in your bag? Her argument is that what difference does it make if I eat it here or take it home? Friend lives in a big house, and had a lot of food/treats in the kitchen so I think this is why she did it. He ‘wouldn’t notice’.

She also does weird things like going to Asda and taking the bbq charcoal that’s sitting outside and putting it in the booth of her car, because she can’t be bothered to carry it inside and it’s only charcoal . After putting it in the booth, she goes inside to do her shopping like normal. I don’t really have a relationship with her, and stay away as much as I can. But on occasions like Eid I have to see her.

AIBU this is stealing and she’s just a thief in disguise?

What’s the disguise?

She’s blatant, hardly in disguise

Lol @Jumpi

Spot on

Car Booth... Sorry 😂

I know she does it blatantly, but what I meant is if you met her you'd never think of her as someone who steals.

She's a thief.

You only see her twice a year so maybe make DH aware and then leave it. Does she come to your house?

Also, is the stealing a sympton of somethung? Is she unhappy?

She's a thief, and shouldn't be celebrating Eid because she's behaving very un-Islamically (yes, I made that word up but you get the point)

I'm by no means holier than thou but that's appalling behaviour. I'd have called her out on it too, elder or not.

It's car boot op not booth

Try going to her house and do the same to her, and see what she says.

Does she pay for the charcoal at the till after she's put it in her car boot?
Is she taking the "help yourself" remark literally?
Could it be a cultural misunderstanding? - though, I'm not sure which culture would advocate shoplifting and clearing out your friend's kitchen cupboard stocks as an acceptable way of life🤔
I hope you nail down your belongings when she comes to visit OP.
Also, superglue your grocery provisions to the shelves!

She is a blatant thief, there is no disguise.

I bet she steals more than those things.

What does a normal thief look like? Overall with arrows on? Swag bag? Of course she's a thief, she's not even disguising it. I wouldn't get involved though, she'll get caught. A tap on the shoulder in Asda car park shouldn't be too far off if she keeps doing it, they have cameras in the car parks of most supermarkets.

The asda is definitely theiving unless she pays.

The cupboard it depends how it was phrased. E.g. I know a teacher with a nut allergy who tries to get anyone will comes round too take boxes of chocolate, she would be happy with the above situation, or actually anyone who hosts a celebration is generally happy for leftover perishable kittens to be taken home.

Taking charcoal from outside Tesco is shoplifting. Is she too dim to realise her actions will be visible on CCTV as will her car registration number? When she's prosecuted for theft, how will that make her feel? Guilty and ashamed of herself, I would have thought.

As for helping herself to stuff from cupboards, that's just ridiculous. I tell people to help themselves at my house all the time, but it's obvious I mean make yourself a brew, grab a handful of biscuits, make a sandwich, not please empty my store cupboard into your bag and take it home with you.

I would confront her with her dishonesty and tell her she is behaving shamefully.

Perishable kittens

"perishable kittens" I want to come to your friends house if I get a free kitten to take home!

In answer to your question, OP, she's a thief. It's not on and I wouldn't have her in my house.

Well she's definitely a thief, but it seems she does it so blatently she doesn't actually believe it is stealing. One day she will be caught if she is doing it in shops - your Dh needs to have a word before she gets into a lot of trouble.

Don't invite her to your house, ever.

Thing is, people get away with this shit because nobody says anything. Grass the fucker up and with a bit of luck she might not speak to you ever again.

had a lot of food/treats in the kitchen so I think this is why she did it. He ‘wouldn’t notice’.

I have a lot of food around for various reasons (I volunteer for food-related organisations) - I'd definitely notice if something like several blocks of chocolate disappeared from reserved cupboards or stores.

I wouldn't have her in my house and I'd tell her why.

If anyone has a leftover perishable kitten i’ll happily take it! Not sure DH would be happy though!

The coppers probably wouldn’t get involved with the pinching of stuff from a friend’s cupboard ... shoplifting charcoal might be a different matter.

Thief thief thief thief