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Its Christmas. Please Collude in my Delusion. Feed my fantasy.

16 replies

LetsPretendforDecember · 21/12/2019 00:03

I know IBU but I deeply love a man who likes me but doesn't love me back.

Tell me your tales of Hes Just Not That Into You the exception to the rule. Your stories of he only just liked her at first but it ended up with hearts and flowers and true love

I know its not happening for me. I know he's just not that into me. I know he never will be. But it's Christmas and I'd like to wrap myself up in a glass of wine and a cheering temporary fantasty.

Please help me with some real life tales of unlikely love out of a Just Not That Into Her scenario. Or just tales of unlikely love.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


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LetsPretendforDecember · 21/12/2019 00:05

I want to pretend it could happen with him. That he could maybe one day see me as I see him. Love me as I love him.


OP posts:

fligglepige · 21/12/2019 00:42

Well not sure if it's exactly the same but I had a FWB who ended up declaring undying love after a couple of years when I got myself a proper boyfriend who actually wanted to go out with me.


Sparklesocks · 21/12/2019 00:43

Sorry you’re hurting OP. As nice as the fantasy is, you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. Try not to exert too much energy on someone unworthy of it.


MyKingdomForBrie · 21/12/2019 00:44

There was a couple at my work - used to sleep together when drunk on work nights out, she was in love with him, he was just not bothered at all. Now they're married with babies and he adores her! It can (really very occasionally!) happen..


LetsPretendforDecember · 22/12/2019 13:34

Rueful Sigh

Thanks @MyKingdomForBrie and @fligglepige

It's a sad day when you can't even cobble together a fantasy. Xmas Sad

OP posts:

PlomBear · 22/12/2019 19:57

Have you thought about seeing a counsellor in real life OP?


Alsohuman · 22/12/2019 19:59

One of my friends had a guy who hung around for years. He just kept the faith. They’ve been married for over 30 years now. It can happen.


churchandstate · 22/12/2019 20:03

I really don’t think I can, OP. It’s not good for you! Go out and do something, or read a book?


LetsPretendforDecember · 22/12/2019 20:11

I just want to hear some exception not the rule stories to dream about. that's all.

OP posts:

churchandstate · 22/12/2019 20:13

Read Jane Eyre, then have a Wine and go to bed.


Stompythedinosaur · 22/12/2019 20:20

Not quite what you're asking for - but I can tell you about thinking I loved someone so much I'd never get over it, and years later realising I had, and seeing that he was never really the person is imagined him to be, and was actually just a little pathetic.


Ginkypig · 22/12/2019 20:43

I know you do op but surely dreaming about something that really won't happen will just lead to heartache and disappointment.

There are always exceptions to the rule. It's up to you what you dream but personally I'd like to see you actually get someone instead of dreaming about someone who'll never love you.


FestiveFavourites · 22/12/2019 21:22

You are being ridiculous.


Alsohuman · 22/12/2019 21:27

What a lovely person you are, Festive. Maybe Father Christmas could bring you some much needed kindness.


AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 22/12/2019 21:35

Not quite what you're asking for - but I can tell you about thinking I loved someone so much I'd never get over it, and years later realising I had, and seeing that he was never really the person is imagined him to be, and was actually just a little pathetic

Me too 🙋🏼‍♀️ Loved him so much he inspired poetry in me. Thought we were the exception to the rule/love forever despite the odds thing. Tomorrow would be our 17th anniversary. But he left me. It was dreadful. And then it wasn’t. And then I met someone else. And now it’s perfect. And when I saw Mr. Meant to Be many years on I just felt sad for him because he was old and sad and fat and bald and he didn’t have me or the life we could have had but I did and I’m happy.

Don’t indulge the fantasy OP. Aim higher than someone who doesn’t like you. There’s someone out there for you who will love you like you’re made of gold. Cut the deadwood and look for him instead.


LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 22/12/2019 22:36

I really agree with AllTheWhoresOfMalta's post. Don't sleepwalk through your life, OP. You know it's never going to happen with this man and second-guessing and daydreaming your days away will just leave you with a really bitter taste when the realisation of futility comes rushing in.

Live your life as is in reality now, authentically. Find somebody who does want to be with you. Don't become a laughing stock, no woman should be that.

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