To feel like I should come off Citalopram but I like myself better on it?

[Sillysausageandeggs]

I recently tapered off Citalopram. I started taking it a couple of years ago during a particularly rough patch in my life and thought I really didn't need it anymore. The circumstances that led to me taking it are all gone now. Fast forward to now, I slowly slowly slowly tapered off on my GPs advice and was doing ok. But Christmas. And winter. I felt like I was snapping at everything, stressing out about minor things and basically felt like a zombie walking around. I felt really low. So I've started taking them again and I feel better. AIBU to think I should be off them? Like I shouldn't be relying on medication to feel 'normal'? Why do I not have this 'medication guilt' about my IUD or the meds I take for arthritis?

That's great glitter boom. Do you mind me asking what your taking? I need what you've got

@Tash43 I'm currently on 20mg of Citalopram. When I first went back to my GP I was prescribed 10mg, after 4 weeks I asked for it to be upped. I was on 40mg for about a year until I came off them in the summer.

They don't solve everything, I still had some periods of depression and anxiety but nothing like I had when I was off them altogether. My GP told me this is normal, the ups and downs of life. My previous GP put me on 40mg (the max) but when I was hit with difficult times I had nowhere to go on the meds as I couldn't increase the dose. My now GP explained it to me that if I do get an episode where I'm struggling I can then up my dose to cover it. I am hoping to go to down 10mg some time in the future as a maintenance dose however I'm more than happy to stay on 20mg for the foreseeable as my recent state in October is still very fresh in my mind!

The negative thoughts, self loathing and paranoia that everyone was talking about me or disliked me has pretty much gone. My resilience is back so if I do have any negative thoughts I can basically tell them to fuck off and I can rationalise that it's not me talking instead of wallowing in it and spiralling into darker thoughts.

Like you I have gone up & down & reduced my dose to 10mg the past few years but haven't taken it religiously every day as subconsciously I'm thinking I don't need it anymore. The hangup of being on. prescription meds for mental health is strong for me but I know it's nothing to be ashamed of at all. Thanku for sharing. Obviously I do need them. I suffer social anxiety but hide it well most of the time although lately struggling which is getting me down & exhausting. I know I need to devote time to other possible solutions like cbt but it's finding the time. As you say at least the tabs help with the negative overthinking. Good luck & thanks so much for sharing

I'm glad I posted and that so many of us are in the same boat. Think that reading your replies has made me think about this more and look at family history too. My grandmother has a history of depression that emerged later in life so maybe I'm the same... Has made me now think of the ADs as more of a necessity.

Interesting thread. My story is that about 4 years ago I didn’t feel at all right. GP suggested low dose of Prozac. Took it for a couple of years and weaned myself off. In hindsight it did work to a point but I did have a lot of side effects. I was 38 years old and historically had taken ADs for a few months at age 22 for PND so the need for me to take ADs again had not been ongoing.

This year I felt awful again....exhausted, irrational, tearful. Saw an out of hours GP who prescribed 10mg Citolopram. Been on it three months with no side effects and feel so much better. I am frankly amazed that such a low dose balances me out so much.

BUT I had to have a check up a month ago and after reporting my improvements my regular GP told me I could stay on them for a bit but then needed to think of coming off them and to instead tackle the ‘underlying issues’ causing this. I am now already worried that if he pushes this and I come off them I will return to being an emotional wreck again!

fortunatelynot - I think the attitude that we "need to deal with underlying issues" is where the stigma comes from. I currently do not have a reason to feel low. I don't have an underlying issue to work through. Been there, done that. I came off the ADs, and physically felt tearful, emotional, fatigued and my joint pains increased. Maybe my underlying issue is that I need to move to a sunny climate! If there are issues that you think need working through, then fair enough... But what if you just feel low for no reason? Feels a bit like when I got given meds for arthritis and kept thinking I should be eating only green things and exercising like crazy and living a super healthy life. Yes these things help but they don't solve the 'underlying issue'. Maybe need to get another opinion from a different doctor?

fortunatelynot
My GP also says i need to think about coming off of Citalopram long term. I Just say no thank you id prefer to keep taking them. You do not have to stop if you don’t want to.

I've recently started sertraline after 10 years off antidepressants. Have the same feeling as you, I dont like that I need them, but I was suicidal with a small baby with several health issues. Now I feel like myself again. I'm not going to beat myself up about taking them this time for as long as I need (probably years), its saved my relationship and made me feel like a better mum.

Yes it is interesting - the doctor who prescribed them (not my usual doctor) was bemused that I had left it so long to return to the doctors to go back on them (in a nice way). He basically wondered why I had put off going back on them.

However, as mentioned, my regular doctor was different. He is fairly new and said that since had begun at my surgery he had 'inherited' so many female patients that had been on it for years and he didn't think it was always necessary! I think I might ask to swap doctors.

I suppose it depends if you EVER want to be off the ADs?? If you're saying the only thing to be struggling with at the moment is the weather....(which 99% of the population struggle with) and you feel that you need them then you need to come to terms with the fact you'll most likely always be on them???

Or you can say to yourself - it's just the weather - winter is always miserable - everyone is feeling like this with the bloody incessant rain and unless I move to Australia it's going to be like this every year and it's not a justification to medicate myself?

I was on Citalopram for about 10-12 years and have spent over 2 years gradually reducing until I was on 10mg 3 times a week. I stopped taking them altogether about 6 months ago.

Because I was on such a low dose, I really didn't think I'd notice the difference, but after the first couple of weeks I found I was snappy, irritable and bad tempered.

I still am. I'm seriously considering going back on them, but I'm also wondering if that's the person I am.

I've lost 10lbs since I stopped though.

I feel exactly the same about Fluoxetine. Ive been weaning myself off them for about a month now and am not feeling anxious or down (which were original reasons for taking it) but just very short tempered and snappy. I feel like I must just be a horrible, grumpy person naturally. I don't know if to persevere with coming off them and see if in another month or so things have balanced out, or keep taking them for fear my OH will realise that I'm not a very nice person to be around 😞

I was prescribed Citalopram after my marriage ended and I was grief stricken. They quickly made me feel so much better.
Unfortunately my parents made me feel inadequate and ashamed for taking antidepressants. I gradually reduced the dose and came off them completely for about 5 months. I was ok to begin with but the obsessive thoughts and mood swings returned. I eventually started to think that I would rather not be here. I'm back on them now and feeling so much better. Its noones business but mine and if I need them I will take them.

Itwasalovelydream funny you mention moving to Australia for the weather. I do not recommend! I was born here and I hate it. The relentless heat is awful and I really miss rain. Now we have smoke and it’s just terrible. I dream of moving to the UK. Constant sunshine is overrated.

Diabetics don't get shit for taking insulin.

People with depression and anxiety shouldn't get shit for taking medication which makes them feel better.

I’m on citalopram and have been on and off since 2006. I’ve been told I’ll be on them for life now.