I have known this friend for two years, we are both single parents with autistic children at the same school. We live in the same borough so see the same professionals, and deal with the same social workers, teachers, Local Authority officials connected with SEND, use the same support services etc. We often talk about people and compare notes.
Over the past year we have both had dealings with the same social worker, the only one that has helped me after 6 years of struggling to get help, so I think he's amazing. He is honest, cares about disabled children and is empathetic and respectful of me as a parent of a child with SEN. My friend however can not stand him. She is going through a very stressful time and thinks he is untrustworthy and only listens to her ex, and doesn't care about her child.
Obviously this means that for the first time since we've known each other, we disagree. The only thing we agree about is that he is slow to respond to emails and texts, but when he responds he has generally sorted out the issue I have contacted him about, so I feel confident that I can wait for a response. She is angry if he takes more than a couple of days and has actually made an official complaint against him. She also lies to me about him, I often think about what she has said and try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but always find out that she has lied to me. The first couple of times I let it go because she is stressed about her dc. But recently she told me that he was responsible for another child going into care, which is shocking, it is just not like him, so I asked the mother of the relevant child (I am also friends with her), and she told me he had nothing to do with the situation. After being asked about her lie, my friend admitted it, and then said that she doesnt understand why I keep disagreeing with her and that this could become an issue in our friendship.
AIBU to think she is toxic, and that I really should take a break from her? Or should I just cut her out altogether? I'm not sure I can trust her, and I don't like being controlled. Or should I forgive her again?