To stop DS from calling partner Daddy

[TiredMama90]

For fear he will be bullied when he starts school?

DS (2) has called my gf “Daddy” from the start, absolutely no idea where he got it from, he’s always been introduced as (her name).

However, I feel that school can be hard enough as it is, I don’t want him being bullied because he calls a woman “Daddy”.

How would I even stop him now? Should I get him to call her by a nickname that only he calls her??

Get some books that represent your family.
Spend lots of time saying "give this to (Barbara) please" "where's (barabara)" etc massive overkill.

Does dc see their dd?

@FraglesRock, never met his bio father (his fathers choice).

He does call my step dad & my bio dad "Daddy".

My sister thinks it's because my DS thinks my gf is a man!

He's two and probably heard other kids saying it so wants to assign it to someone.

I think it'd probably be a weird situation at school etc so I'd put effort into establishing people's names/titles whilst their acquiring language so readily.

Oh and make a photo album of important people in his family so you can flick through it with him and name people.

@FraglesRock, you are right.
I don't want him going to school & saying "Daddy, I mean (Sandra) is picking me up today".

If I change it now, he'd probably never remember he ever called her daddy!

My family aren't very comfortable with it at all. Are very in favour of me correcting him.

I just don't want to make his life harder!

As a gay woman with gay friends with children, I would recommend (if you are comfortable to do so within your relationship) giving your gf a different name - not her name, but another family type name (mama or something). Because he is just meeting societies norms about a family having a mummy and a daddy, and presumably he knows you are mummy so he’s going with daddy. It’s very sweet really.

If he doesn't know his biological dad, and your partner is a parent to him then don't make him call her by her name - that seems a bit cold. He'll probably grow out of the Daddy thing but you could introduce another name for her - something parental and close. Maybe something that sounds like Daddy? (No idea what tho!)

I expect he's learnt that Mummies live with Daddies and as you are Mummy, your GF must be Daddy.

As he meets more children and finds out more about them, he'll soon realise that some Mummies live with Dave, Grandma, Sarah etc. and some don't live with any other adult.

Oh that's just too cute. I love it. I know what you mean but still :( I think he might grow out of it himself. Could you encourage Dah Dah or something?

DeeDee?

What do you want him to call her? Maybe you haven't been all that consistent and he has filled in the gaps for himself. Pick what you want him to use and use it consistently yourselves.

Why does he call your dad "daddy"? Have you not used the name"grandad" or whatever around him?

Sounds like he's a bit mixed up.

Every time he has called my step dad "Daddy" we've always said "no that's Grumpy". With my dad it's been "no that's Papi". I have always been consistent in terms of names. Every time I talk to him about someone, I make sure I say their name first.

My partner loves that he calls her it, as she feels it's his way of telling her he loves her. However I just would rather not have to "have the chat" about why it's best not to say it at school.

Maybe he is confused/mixed up, we only moved 80 miles from family a couple of months ago.

I'd rather just find another name we could use and hope he will attach to that.

Kids pick funny things up. My 7 year old is usually very switched on. He still can't get his head around the fact that my dad is not my mums dad. So they are nana and grandad but grandads nanas dad. Blows my mind when he can go from telling me things about in depth topics but he cannot grasp family relationships.

My kids call me "Mum" and my g/f "Mummy".

I think that's lovely he calls her daddy. Maybe you could get him to call her daddy . Sounds a bit better.

I wouldn't worry about kids. They are very accepting

@bullyingadvice2017 Is it possible he's mishearing Grandad as Gran's dad and that's why he's confused?!

If her name i Sandra, then why not go for dandra -
otherwise deedee, daddu, danda or some similar name.

Although the only reason that it shouldn't be daddy is that he would het teased/bullied and that is very sad.

het = be

Don't try and find any other name than her real name.

If you are going to correct her, only do it with the name she can use irrespective of her age.

Just keep saying "can you get a pencil for sue" "sue want to say hi" just use her name lots and lots and when she says daddy, Sue says " no I'm sue " but in a nice way like if your DD say "daddy can I have raspberries" response "I'm sue nit daddy and yes of course I will get them for you "

I think it's really sweet. I don't think younger children would pick up on it. They're really accepting. By the time he's of an age that other children might start to be mean about that sort of thing, I'd expect he would have grown out of calling her it (at least outside of the family). Maybe like pp suggested there's another name you could give him to call her... I don't know what I quite liked a pp's idea of DeeDee as it could be just a woman's name as well as meaning daddy.

I'd hope other children wouldn't be mean about it at any age..just to add that. But I can understand why you're worried.

My DSD went through several phases of calling me mum which, while gender appropriate, isn’t ideal as she already has a mum. The first time (she was two) we worked together to come to a nickname which has completely stuck. The second phase (aged 4) was short lived as her mum put her foot down and so she reverted back to the nickname which now many people call me by. (So weird to be renamed in my mid forties!) So I guess my advice is to play with your partners name and see if you can create some intimacy by finding a special nickname.
By the way my DSD (now 6) now describes me and my partner collectively as her parents and very occasionally calls me mum when it’s just her and me and she is very tired. I can live with that.