Star wars

[Treatedlikeamaid]

Big deal, dh will take us to see Star Wars. Usually when we come out the cinema he is quick to say how rubbish film was. To me this pours cold water on he evening and doesn’t seem great for kids , 11 and 14.who like Star Wars. I said could he not do that this time. It seems to flatten everyone s enjoyment. Big row, I shouldn’t tell him how to talk to his kids ( ours) fair enough and ok, so I said, ‘well I don’t like it, would you mind not doing it this time, for me. He says he will say what he likes, he needs to be authentic, I’m not the expert.
He is seeing a counsellor which is where I’m guessing he’s getting phrases like authentic. She seems to have a very low opinion of me, so second question, can I call her and ask her to stop having opinions about me without ever having met me?

I don't think it's reasonable to call his counsellor, no.

You can tell your husband that he's not being "authentic" though. He's just being critical and not considering other people's feelings.

She doesn't have opinions about you

He says she has opinions about you

BIG difference

(I'm a counsellor)

I don’t think it would be reasonable to call her no. It’s not really your place. And any opinions she would have formed (and counsellors normally stay balanced and constructive) would come from how he describes you - so it feels you like you’re after the wrong target.
I do agree that being ‘authentic’ doesn’t mean you can act how you like without consequence.

Leave him at home to be authentic on his own and you and the kids go enjoy the film.

My DH hated the last film, but he came to see the new one with us because he loves to spend time with his family, which we don't get to do much of. He didn't particularly like this one either, but listened to the DC's opinions about it.

Thats how people usually behave, isn't it?

Thanks guys, I thought so too, but it’s been a day of confusing conversations and am left feeling a bit drained tbh. And depressed.
Just needed a heads up on what’s normal😀👍

Haha a phrase I heard recently was ‘an important part of being a Star Wars fan is constantly complaining about Star Wars’. Say that to him next time!

You can be true to yourself without pissing on other people’s chips.

My DS has been to see the new Star Wars but he slept off towards the end. He said he enjoyed it.

I think this is probably indicative of lots of things in your relationship that you probably need to compromise on etc.
But in this one instance it's Star Wars. Leave your husband at home or ensure you go with equally enthusiastic friends.
One of my best friend's DH is a Star Wars nut too. Our families go together. Part of the pleasure is going "ooh ahhh did you see this - what about that!!??" afterwards. I'm not sure how I'd react to sniffily critical. Badly I suspect. Any other film I'd be interested in an exchange of views tho.

The new Star Wars is ace, but sadly the fandom is full of (mostly Male) people who claim to be mega fans while only liking Empire Strikes Back and bits of Ep.IV....
He is being unreasonable if your kids love it, in the same way most people sit through Trolls/Frozen 2/Peppa Pig live shows and don't take away the enjoyment from their DC if they dont like it.

Why do you go with him? If he can't refrain from being a fun sponge, then take the kids on your own. If he complains, say you didn't think he would like it.

Thanks guys. Especially for the bits about what’s normal from a counsellor. I do feel a bit ganged up on!
Dh makes a big thing about going to see the Star Wars with the kids, I think it’s his way of bonding. Even weirder then that he is fullsome in his criticism. Oh and after a big deal to kids about going on Friday, he can’t actually go tonight as out with a mate, and oh! Tomorrow the football is on, so is Sunday ok? Why am I so ..I don’t even know.its just annoying, but am I over reacting?
agree with you all - I’ve sat through countless hours of k pop with enthusiasm, and yes you can enjoy dd enjoying it even if not all the songs are my taste. But again dh says they are just manufactured. It just kind of throws cold water on everything.
I tell her, well all bands are manufactured in some way and Now we listen to k pop in the kitchen while I cook. Ds is in computer ALL the time And dh watches tv on his own. It’s all wierd and I don’t like it. I feel like we are separating as a family and not having laughs and doing stuff. What do people even do in the evenings ?
Sorry, this morning was told my fledgling business that I was proud of is a waste of time and I’m being self indulgent if I’m doing it to build confidence. I’ve had 8 years to build my confidence ( and raise kids and run house and have cancer). I need to earn more. The house is a tip. All the way into town. Then he wants to buy me a coat that’s reduced ( it’s v nice) but a week ago he yelled at me for buying pyjamas for him to ‘give,’ to me at Xmas as I know he’s busy. Why offer me a coat? Thought we were broke? Was offer of coat so he could justify shopping for himself?While he was doing that I found a nice jumper - was going to buy it on the quiet! But he came back and said buy it. I said it didn’t matter, feeling all confused and stressed out. So then he said buy it, and I said thank you, Feeling somehow humiliated.
Sorry, confused and exhausted could do with sensible outside views.
Sorry so long too.