To think this is it?

[Advice1234]

My 17 year old child has been grounded and lost her pocket money last month due to behaviour.

My partner this morning opened my daughters bank statement (by mistake) and checked how much money I had sent my daughter over the last month (I also send her dinner money etc.)

Because there was £70 of transactions into the account (the one pocket money she hasn’t lost and dinner money) my partner than angrily approached me with the bank statement demanding to know what I had sent to my daughter and why. Claiming that I am disrespecting my partner and accusing me of giving her the pocket money even though she lost it.

My partners view is that I am allowing my daughter to get away with bad behaviour. My view is that my partner should have known the money was for other things and had no right to accuse me and question me in this way. For clarity I had not given her the pocket money she lost, it was lunch money.

I really feel like the relationship is now over due to this. I’ve been in a previous relationship where every penny of my finances were tracked and this happening this morning made me feel panicked due to this. I can’t bear to live that again.

Am I overreacting or would you feel the same?

YABU - I would end this relationship
YABU - you are overreacting

Also definitely agree with PP. Accident my arse, it would take a second to realise his mistake and stop reading there's no way he accidentally discovered all that detail. He sounds controlling.

How did he open it by accident? Presumably they have different names.
If he'd done it by accident he'd have put it back in the envelope and apologised to your daughter.
He wouldn't have gone through the statement checking what you've sent her.

He's a controlling arse and I agree that this sounds like the straw that broke the camels back.

Accident? Aye right I'll crack the jokes!

Be very wary here OP, your daughter is 17.

1. you are modelling acceptable relationships to her
2. You are at a stage where she can up and leave at any time.
3. the way you deal with this invasion of her privacy could affect your longer term relationship with her and her trust of you

I'd lay money on this not being the first issue with your partner. Especially since you mention not agreeing with punishments he inflicts on your daughter.