Who decides who gets the donated toys?

[Christmasgravy]

I keep reading comments from people here and elsewhere about not having money to buy their children gifts this Christmas.

Work has just donated a van load of presents to a Children's Christmas charity. Many places do the same.

Who decides who gets the gifts?
There must be 1000s of families who aren't claiming any kind of benefit but simply don't have any disposable income to buy presents.
Do they receive anything? How would anyone know to give them anything from the stockpile of toys donated?

My DS was in hospital over Christmas a few years ago and on Christmas Day was given a massive bag of presents on the ward.
He thought it was great but we are NoT in need. It was a bit much...He had a huge bag of presents from family and friends too. I felt awful knowing that people had donated stuff thinking it was going to children who otherwise would get very little or nothing.

So, AIBU to think that a lot of children go under the radar and that (as in my DS's case) some gifts are misdirected...

[curlycat]

I know in my area that schools, health, visitors, social workers, church etc give in a list of names of families who will need help

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

There must be 1000s of families who aren't claiming any kind of benefit but simply don't have any disposable income to buy presents. and many of them wil access other support, community schemes etc.

Do they receive anything? How would anyone know to give them anything from the stockpile of toys donated? If they have no communciation with any local or national scheme then no, I don't suppose they will as nobody will know their need exists. But everyone localy will be actively looking, listening for those that may get missed. I know I used to (community charity) and do now (local food bank)

And your S wasn't gifted in error. He was in hospital and EVERY child gets a present from, nobody goes home alone, iyswim!

[Christmasgravy]

Many people hide the truth. I can't stand the thought of children going under the radar.

[NormHonal]

I see your point, but it’s a bit like the free school meals thing, isn’t it? Not everyone needs them. But if you start being selective, it creates a stigma and then the children who really need it won’t get it.

[MinervaSaidThar]

This is why I don’t take part in toy drives and instead I donate to charities that work abroad in poverty stricken countries. More chance of it going to needy children.
.

[greenlobster]

Different charities have different systems. I don't think it tends to be directly related to whether you receive benefits or not, just whether you're referred by someone like a health visitor, social worker, school etc

In our area the Salvation Army gives presents for children and supermarket vouchers to buy Christmas food etc for needy families. My sister was telling me yesterday that anyone can put forward names of people they know who are struggling

[evilharpyinapeartree]

We take part in a scheme through work where you buy a present for a specific child. You're given their first name, age and if they have any specific wish/interest. It's run by a charity, I'm not sure where the referrals come from but think it's various sources like churches and social workers.

[Christmasgravy]

And your S wasn't gifted in error. He was in hospital and EVERY child gets a present from, nobody goes home alone, iyswim!

I know it wasn't an error but it was excessive. He was given a lot of presents. Expensive gifts along with games/books etc. They filled a bin bag. I thought at the time (and still do) that the people donating thought they were giving to a child in need or living in poverty.

Yes, I understand the point re.school dinners. It's difficult isn't it?

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

hat the people donating thought they were giving to a child in need or living in poverty. Maybe some, but I know many who donate just because a kid in hospital is in mor eneed of surprise and delight than a kid out of hospital!

Don't overthink it! Take such things at face vale, lest you accidentally suck the joy out of your life.

[FineWordsForAPorcupine]

I can't stand the thought of children going under the radar

This is going to sound brutal, but try not to think about it.

Do what you can - donate to charities, get involved in local initiatives, volunteer your time, report any concerns you have, etc - but don't drive yourself mad thinking "but what about the kids we aren't helping?" because that isn't productive and doesn't help anyone.

[bigbubbles]

Schools spend a lot of time collecting presents from a range of charities etc Working out which child will match what. Supplementing it with stuff they buy themselves and if needed taking it round after the pubs have closed on Christmas Eve.

[bigbubbles]

After many years working in areas of significant social need I always gave my gifts to the Salvation Army as they were amazing at bringing brilliant gifts for families we identified as most needy.

This year I have directly to 2 schools- 1 with lots of new arrivals and 1 nearby in one of the most deprived areas in the country. I know they will go to children who need them.

[TheReluctantCountess]

I saw a FB post this morning from a mother at ds’s school. She had been given a hamper from school, as well as toys donated by a local charity. She seemed almost offended, and was boasting about giving most of the hamper away, and making a cash donation to the charity to cover the cost of the toys. It makes me wonder about how they decide who gets stuff 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

I know here toys donated went to a shop where families in need would be invited to 'shop' for the kids presents. Not sure how they were invited and presumably there was a limit on what they could chose.

As a toddler DD1 received a gift as she was the daughter of a Serviceman serving away over Christmas. It was a lovely idea... But other family also overcompensated for her father being away. It took her a week to open everything. (Not to mention the gifts they all got for DD2 as well... Who wasn't even born at that point!)

[EduCated]

Unfortunately no, if people don’t/won’t access any form of community organisation or service then its likely that they won’t be known to anyone who could connect them up with some kind of present giving charity.

[Christmasgravy]

Don't overthink it! Take such things at face vale, lest you accidentally suck the joy out of your life.

I hear you!

[PickettBowtruckles]

I work in social care, last year we got hundreds of donated gifts for the children I work with. The gifts came from a local radio station who run a gift appeal - we link with them and say how many children we hope to be able to give to and then go to their warehouse and are told how much we can take (I think it was about 300 gifts) and then pick that amount of items. It then all goes back to our office where we all went in and chose for the children on our caseloads as we knew their likes/dislikes and could pick something we thought they’d like. The radio station does it with lots of different organisations thought, the people who donate aren’t told where their donation goes specifically I think just that it will be donated to a local child.

[WutheringTights]

If you're in Manchester of Salford, Wood Street Mission is exactly what you're looking for. It's an amazing charity for families in need. We donate every year.


www.woodstreetmission.org.uk/our-work/christmas/

[RhymingRabbit3]

The charity I volunteer with has children referred by social workers, health visitors, schools etc.
I suppose there will be some who fly under the radar e.g. a family who have no money but the school aren't aware but there isnt really any way around that. The problem with self referral is that some unscrupulous people would just turn up and get free presents when they didnt need them.

[MushroomTree]

@PickettBowtruckles I work for a DV charity and we do the same thing at Christmas.

We see the very fact they're involved with us as making them deserving of gifts regardless of what kind of Christmas they'll have.

[Raphael34]

Op I agree with you on the hospital situation. There are some local people who collect presents/money every year for the purpose of gifting a box of toys to every single child in the local hospitals. The annoying thing is that I’m on a local fb site set up for desperate parents to ask/be given specific items that they can’t afford. Every year people offer up their old toys after the Xmas clear out/offer to buy new toys for the needy and there will be parents literally begging for help with Xmas presents, but the local hospital people swoop in and ask for it to be donated to the hospitals. 9 times out of 10 the toys are given to them as people feel terrible saying no to a child in hospital, but I always think there’s actual people there asking for help and willing to prove they have nothing and you’re just donating it to someone else for the sake of it

[Gingerkittykat]

I know my local charity distributes gifts to organisations like young carers and womans aid but also take referrals from health visitors, schools and social workers.

There are some self referrals on a FB giving page, I suppose you just need to take it on trust and hope that the majority are honest.

[nicknamehelp]

We also got a sack load from being in over Xmas. Think hospitals often get people donating straight to them as a thank you for care. Other toy appeals do go to children in need via food banks, social services etc.

Yes my dd didn't need the large sack full and a lot we donated to a charity but it was so nice to wake up to at what was a horrible time. Even her big bro got a gift when he visited.