To find Christmas painful?

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I’m very fortunate in many many ways. I’m healthy, have wonderful children, a great job that I love. Relationship wise things aren’t ideal but I’m married and on paper I shouldn’t have any complaints.

I find Christmas, especially the build up really tough. One of the worst things is Christmas music. My children want it on the radio and many songs make me want to burst into tears. They remind me of lost loves, friends who have died, difficult times as a child. I just find it all so exquisitely painful.

Christmas shopping is just as bad. I have done much of it online but still needed to go to the shops a few days this week. The music makes me feel like I might actually be sick from the painful emotion of it all.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes op.

I am the same. I wish I could hide away.

I’m lucky in the I work shifts in a 24/7 place so I work a lot of Xmas, but I have a Dh and family who love Xmas so they make me feel guilty about working (not that I have a choice, rota is randomised at Xmas to make it fair).

I’m with you on the songs etc.

Yes. I feel sick with grief at this time of year. For my parents, grandparents and friends.
I also grieve for 'my own past experience Christmas' with all of my family and friends.

I really struggle to create anything near to whatI had for my own DC as we have such a tiny extended family. That grieves me too.

I'm sort of with you in that I don't feel particularly Christmassy. I enjoy the day but that's about it. However yesterday a colleague of mine confessed she'd been crying all morning as she'd been hearing of friends taking their children here & there and doing Christmassy things with them, and her and her husband have been trying for a baby for a couple of years and desperately want to be parents. It put it all into perspective for me so I'm trying to be more positive.

There's so much hype over Christmas that it's difficult when you don't feel unadulterated joy. Maybe it would help to remember it's largely advertising and everyone has sadness and grief and is probably feeling the same as you.

I don't feel this way but you are not at all unreasonable for feeling so. Gentle hugs for you, this season can be incredibly tough on some people.

Yeah I didn’t really get before how people found Christmas difficult. Now I do!
1st Christmas single, in the middle of a messy divorce. Feel bad for the kids having to split Xmas between us.
Seeing happy families everywhere!
Being too poor to do presents properly. I keep seeing all the braggy posts from other mums about getting their kids 3 advent calendars, special dec 1st outfits and presents -how is this even a thing?! Avoiding all SM next week!
Dreading all the awkward questions from family over Xmas. None of my family believe in divorce so going to be a fun one😂

@GinNotGym19 oh god, I am avoiding SM at all costs. We are down to the wire, my kids have a few charity shop/eBay gifts. Nothing in a box, all second hand! Dread the sm show offs.

Christmas is full of bad memories from spending it with my abusive parents and grandma. I don't have extended family either in the beginning because I had gone no contact with my parents and I didn't want any information about my dcs to getting back to my parents but now it's because most of them are far right wing racists. I found out due to stuff they were posting on Facebook about the election.

Every year I try to focus on what I do have and try to push what has been before to the back of my mind. But it's hard work. I get stress nightmares. I really wanted to have huge Christmas get togethers with both sets of parents and children. Dh's mum is abusive too, so we're no contact with them too. Me and dh recognised it in each other and bonded over it. But realistically, a big family get together would have to be with someone else's family, not my abusive and racist family!

I’m another one who finds Christmas difficult. My dad left when I was a teenager so Christmas was awful from then on. Now I’m married with a 15mth old so Christmas should be great, but it’s my 3rd one without a family member who took his own life. I always spent Christmas Day with him so everything about Christmas makes me think of him.

I find Christmas difficult too, there is another thread on here about finding Christmas difficult but I don't know how to do a link on the app.

I find the podcast Griefcast really good - all year round, but in the run up to Christmas I find it especially helpful just hearing from others "in the club"

For those on twitter there is a hashtag #joinin on Xmas day for people struggling or feeling alone to be part of something. I find it helpful to read those

Thoughts with all who struggle x

Yep Christmas will be difficult here too. It’s the first one since my daughter died. I guess it’s because I am really not feeling it this year - but everywhere seems to have gone Christmas mad! Decorations on all the trees and houses in my village, Christmas lunches/ dinners/ parties since the start of dec and happy people everywhere! I used to love Christmas so that makes it harder.

I think what makes Christmas seem harder than other times of the year is the enforced jollity just serves to highlight how sad you are yourself. If I didn't have DC I'd hide in a hole over Christmas so I didn't have to think about it.

for you all.

It's the supermarket Xmas adverts I hate, all the family round the table, everyone pilling in.... It makes me feel lonely, its only ever the 4 of us.