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AIBU?

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3 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 19/12/2019 23:05

I may be making a big issue about this as I’m due on but this is the first time something said has got to me.
Bit of back story. DS 11 has autism, dd7 doesn’t. we live with my mum and sister 15 which is good for everyone. Today DS wasn’t in a good mood and my sis tried to play with him (banterwise) he does have a good sense of humour but he straight out told her he wasn’t in the mood and came to sit next to me. A few minutes later she comes over and starts poking him and saying something to him and then he shouted at her to shut up, she then got pissed off because I didn’t tell him off, I mentioned that she should have left him alone in the first place. She then said why should he get away with it when her and my dd get told off all the time. They are both very naughty she’s a typical teen and dd is 7 going on 17 and they constantly wind DS up and fo thier own safety as he can get aggressive if too stressed which they know about. But they just push and push, DSis also winds up dd7 for no reason and thinks it’s okay for her to do that but if some one retaliates they should get told off, I get it she’s a teen and she’s defo unreasonable. They can never ignore each other and it drives me nuts. What she said next really got my goat, she told me that no wonder Mum gets pissed at you when you favourite DS. Me and Mum are reallly really close and tell each other how it is all the time if she had a problem she’d let me know so what pissed me off is the fact she even brought it up. Please tell me I’m not being unreasonable by telling them to stop annoying him for thier own safety as several comments have caused him to have meltdowns. DSis also keeps calling him a spastic which my mum has called her up on more than one occasion.

OP posts:
SamVimesFavouriteDragon · 19/12/2019 23:46

You're not unreasonable for telling them not to wind him up but I wonder if it would be worth considering how all this looks to your daughter? I only ask because I grew up with an autistic sibling, and because I didn't understand autism, I thought that he got away with more than me because my parents loved him more than me, rather than because they held me to a different standard. It might be worth discussing with her.

UnderperformingSeal · 20/12/2019 00:41

Leaving aside their own safety, how about they stop annoying him because it just isn't very nice?

GreenTulips · 20/12/2019 00:46

Or why not give her some space and move out with your kids?

I think your DSis has had to share her space for a long time and obviously fed up of being treated as second class.

It doesn’t make it right, and you have no idea what her mum tells her in private.

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