You need to forgive yourself.

[OhioOhioOhio]

Further to marrying a nasty man and all of the drama that followed I've had a various few friends and relatives who've told me I need to forgive myself.

Have any of you done this? How do you do this?

What a BS. You don’t need to forgive yourself because you shouldn’t blame yourself in the first place.

I agree with PP- what's to forgive?

Abusers see everything as black and white and try to project that way of thinking onto you. So if you make a tiny mistake (or something they view as one) you are weak/bad/crazy ect...

So part of being able to forgive yourself is being as to stop hearing their voice as your own. It isn't.

Try positive affirmations. Eg: each morning look at yourself in the mirror and say things like 'I have the right to live life how I choose', 'everyone fucks up sometimes, hakuna matata', 'a new day a new adventure'. Positive stuff.

Spend lots of time doing things you enjoy in your own company in order to feel comfortable in yourself again too.

That+time. You'll get there.

*able to