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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To potty train early

35 replies

Dinosaurrawr · 19/12/2019 11:29

Just to run in tangent with the other potty training thread...

I have the opposite dilemma. DD is 20 months, fiercely independent, determined, headstrong. She will not keep a pull up on. After another instance of removing a dirty one and ending up with poo everywhere at the weekend I reluctantly decided to try potty training this week as I just can’t see what else we can do.

(FWIW otherwise I have zero interest in forcing this issue, I was quite happy to wait until next summer if she was ready. It’s a terrible time of year with lots on and washing is a bloody nightmare in this weather so this is a real last resort)

Day 1 - lots of encouragement, lots of accidents. Two successful pees in potty, one completely unprompted. She just went over, pulled pants down, did it and informed me.

Day 2 - no successful pees in potty. The day started ok, she was realising when she was wet and coming to me, happy to sit on potty at that point but obviously she had already went. Had no choice but to leave the house for school run & appointments, obviously this was a disaster. Really tough day and I felt she wasn’t ready as she was starting to get resistant and grumpy with it so pull up went on that eve. She removed pull up to do a poo on the carpet while I was in the next room then called me to tell me.

Lovely.

Day 3 (today) Pull up on. Encouraging her to sit on potty & try etc but with security of pull up. No pees in potty but she will not keep the pull up on. Every time my back is turned she has it off. She’s in bed for a nap and I’ve had to go in 10 times to put it back on - it’s now off because I just can’t can’t carry on and she’s clearly uncomfortable.

I honesty don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t know if she’s ready, I don’t know if I just need to persevere and give her time to get it or if she’s just too young.

Help!

YABU - not ready, continue with pull ups (please tell me how the flip to keep them on her)

YANBU - stick with the potty

OP posts:
richteasandcheese · 19/12/2019 12:03

20 months is really young. I know people who have done it at this age, but they've had 18 months of toilet prompting and accidents because their kids don't actually get it yet.

Go back to normal nappies and dress her in stuff she'll struggle to get off on her own

legalseagull · 19/12/2019 12:11

Put her in dungerees! That'll keep it on

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 19/12/2019 12:13

I dont think she is ready, nappies are harder to get off

Whymustyoubringinthebirds · 19/12/2019 12:18

I would focus on clothes she can't get off, does she wear a vest?

Rolypolybabies · 19/12/2019 12:34

Yes. I did. Buy oh crap the potty training book. You can easily crack it with a child like that in days.

LadyFuschia · 19/12/2019 12:38

I did it at 20 months without ongoing accidents. Though it was summer, so easier! Had to take a potty everywhere for a short while. And stayed in deliberately to concentrate on it, with constant sitting on potty to see what comes out. Good luck!

(Next child was 2 though... he wasn’t ready so early)

Original poster
Dinosaurrawr · 19/12/2019 12:43

Ok I’m away to amazon Oh Crap. There isn’t an item of clothing she can’t remove at the min - dungarees, tights, zips, buttons, multiple layers. She manages the lot and bolts / tantrums when stopped.

We moved from nappies to pull ups a few months ago because she was whipping the nappies off. Now she seems to have real intent though - she’s pulling on it all the time and looks uncomfortable. Anytime she has wet her nappy today she has asked for it to be changed.

My DS was potty trained before his 2nd birthday too and was brilliant for the first three months then regressed. I think that’s what I’m afraid of, I don’t want to push it and cause long term prompting etc as PP mentions.

Those of you who were successful around this age, have you had any ongoing issues or have your children been independently toileting?

OP posts:
Khione · 19/12/2019 12:49

I didn't train my daughter, she trained herself at just over a year old. She saw her brother and just decided she could do it to - and did. Never an accident - as such. I had to put the potty on towels and newspapers because she was determined to do it standing up - just like her brother. Quickly got her going on the toilet instead.

She was definitely ready asher night nappies were dry and had been for a while (She would be dry first thing and then wee once she was up before she started using the potty/toilet.

Some are ready early - girls more frequently than boys

MissBPotter · 19/12/2019 12:52

I second the oh crap potty training book. I trained my dd at 20 months and it was really easy honestly! You’ve done a few things that the book doesn’t recommend though, so buy it, read it and start again.
Basically no pants at all and maybe a skirt (naked if warm enough!) and potty out. Do not go back to pull ups! So once you start you have to commit. I’m so glad it did it like this rather than wait til she was older, it was much easier than with dd1.

Poetryinaction · 19/12/2019 12:54

I hate nappies but potty training in winter is much harder than summer. I did my boy at 2 years 4 months in the spring, my daughter at 20 months in the summer. I now have a 21 month old. Would love to get going but might hold off for better weather. The 1st 2 were no problem. DS done in a week, dd in a day. I just took away nappies and carried on as normal. Ised the toilet not a potty. None of this carrying around potties malarky. If they have an accident you just change them.

MissBPotter · 19/12/2019 12:55

No issues at all, she did amazingly well. Only small thing was with dd1 she could quite quickly get on the toilet herself so we didn’t need to use the potty for long, whereas with dd2 being small we had to stick with the potty for much longer, DH found that a little annoying but I didn’t mind. She’s now 2.9 and can get up on the toilet herself.

Squirrelplay · 19/12/2019 13:00

I know some children will potty train young but in my (admittedly limited!) experience the vast majority of these children regress at some point. I think it's much easier to wait until the child is closer to three personally. My DC never took nappies off though so I imagine that's incredibly frustrating. Onsies and vests with poppers is what I'd normally recommend but as you say she gets all those off... funnily enough I do know a mum that has her two year old twirl round and round every night while she tapes her into her nappy Grin if you're desperate... 😂

Fizzbuzzaveabanana · 19/12/2019 13:05

Tbe behaviours you describe all make me rhino she is ready, so I'd perevere. Can't imagine it will take long. 20 months is young, but not extreme. My daughter stopped wearing nappies at about 23 months, and bar a very few accidents over the next few weeks, she was 'trained' over a weekend (summer, so running around starters mainly). On the Monday morning I put a nappy on her to drop her at nursery, and on the way in asked her if she wanted me to stop and buy her some knickers to wear instead. She did, and went the whole day at nursery without mishap.

Rubychard · 19/12/2019 13:11

I’m sure I’ve seen washable pants which are like 2-3mm (ish) thick in asda as a training aid. Thick enough to absorb small accidents but not mega thick like a pull up.

Sorry to be vague, my youngests 10 now, so we’re a bit past that stage.

Original poster
Dinosaurrawr · 19/12/2019 17:31

Thanks all. I’ve skimmed as much as the Oh Crap book as possible this afternoon and agree it’s a bit at odds with my approach so far 🤣

We’ve scrapped the pull ups and had two successes & two accidents (one totally unavoidable thanks to the school run.)

I think I need to just commit and not look back. Thankfully we can remain housebound for a few days from now so here’s hoping we can crack it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dinosaurrawr · 19/12/2019 17:39

Oh and I love the tape idea btw 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
user1493494961 · 19/12/2019 18:20

Carry on, I bet she'll get it if she's so determined. Mine were all reliably trained before 2, it can be done.

Lllot5 · 19/12/2019 18:24

20 months is not that young in my day 🤪 youngest it 30 btw, it would have been pretty average age to start.

Wallywobbles · 19/12/2019 19:39

DD1 took about 2 years to stop removing shitty nappies and wiping the contents over the walls and doors etc. DD2 said no more nappies at 18 months. Dry night and day.

Dépends in the child.

Wallywobbles · 19/12/2019 19:41

We went straight to the loo with a mini seat. We had books and pens in a foot stool so she stayed put until the job was done.

foxatthewindow · 19/12/2019 19:49

My DS2 trained himself at 20 months. It wasn’t an issue with getting nappies on him, rather that he was waiting for the nappy to come Off to do a wee. There were so many accidents though until he was almost 3 and something clicked, so I’m not sure if he was ready or wanted to be ready iyswim

TeenPlusTwenties · 19/12/2019 19:50

If you think she is ready, I reckon you need to find 4 or 5 straight days where you don't need to go out and then go for it.

Bubblysqueak · 19/12/2019 19:53

I would pop a puppy pad on her bed to hp with the washing.

nobodyimportant · 19/12/2019 20:08

It doesn't sound like you have much choice tbh! I'd go with serious bribery. Find the right thing. One of mine was jelly babies, one was choc buttons and one was smarties. One for each successful toilet trip. Once they were reliable (which was just a couple of days) I stopped offering the reward but if they asked I gave it to them. They all just forgot to ask fairly quickly once the habit set in.

nobodyimportant · 19/12/2019 20:09

Oh and use the toilet rather than the potty as much as possible. Easier to start how you mean to go on.