'Too close' to work colleague

[permanentmarkerwoes]

Can you be too close to colleagues?
I ask as I found myself getting very
Close to a man at work where there seemed to be mutual respect and support. It spilled over into outside contact and then onto discussion of each other's lives . I felt
Chemistry so I pulled away as the timing was all wrong. I was in the middle of separation at that time.
He met someone new and seems
Happy but still messsages a lot . However I always feel that we are teetering towards the edge of that closeness again and it bothers me. Does the previous closeness ever go back to normal Working relationship in your opinion?

I don't think if you are close with someone, you can just switch back to being acquaintances without someone getting hurt. If he's met someone new and is happy perhaps it's your friendship that he wants to keep here.

Do you know how you feel? You've said the timing was wrong but is that really that important? Could it be that it's bothering you because you're scared? I think you need to know how you feel before you can move forward.

I know that I value the friendship,that I cannot see myself being vulnerable enough to ever embark on a new relationship.
I know that I am not really attracted to him sexually partly because he has told me that he is essentially asexual so I've blocked that part of things as being a potential as that element of a relationship is important to me. I would like him as a companion as we have many shared interests and already, he has suggested us doing more together such as activities we both enjoy. We are friends in that we have met all each other's families and friends and will spend time during Christmas together.I have not met his girlfriend.Im not sure if she knows we are friends to tHe extent that we are. There is no evidence of him being in a relationship on social media but does engage withmyself and other friends regularly. But he is in a relationship and seems happy.
I would like it to go back to how it was especially now that I am free to pursue activities because of separation but sometimes I'm not sure of it can.

Bump! Any other opinions welcome
Please

You say he is asexual but is in a new relationship? I dont really see the problem, as you were friends before and he messages you a lot .Can you not meet up for the activities he has suggested? He may be in a new relationship but it may not be serious anyway. I would meet him again and enjoy your time together TBH

nothing wrong with being close friends with someone that you work with.

Why is it bothering you OP? do you think he has feelings & you don't or are you developing feelings that he may not have?

Asexual doesn't mean he doesn't want a relationship with someone.

He could see you as a friend and nothing else OP, I certainly have male friends I am close with and nothing will ever happen with. (I'm aromantic asexual and they are in a long term relationship/married/single but don't think of me like that.)

I think you are right. We are very close friends and confidantes. He is not sexually atttacted to me either. He is however very into constant hugging and physical touch which isn't the norm in my friendships.
He is happy with his relationship.He has told her that sex is off the table and she accepts this as she loves him.
I would love to have him as a companion.It would worry me that if We get so close again though.The incessant contact, compliments, gestures and declarations of love. I worry that I may fall for him and am
So broken after my husband leaving for another woman that I fear Inwill get my heartbroken again but in a different way. A non sexual way. Do I make sense?
Plus his girlfriend may not accept our friendship and forbid him to hang out with me, if she finds out about our contact.

I should have said that there are probably strong feelings on both sides but feelings of being closer than friends but not sexual.Im
sure this sounds ridiculous.It doesn't make sense to me either.

Anyone else with any thoughts please?

Anyone... I really would love some
Direction. Please .