My DF lives overseas. Other side of the world. With his second wife. We visited 2 years ago and had a lovely time. I've always been very close to him (when my parents split when I was 17 I moved in with him).
We don't speak that often, only when something to say rather than general chit chat. But I'm the same with everyone. He visits once a year in the summer and stays with us for a couple of weeks.
Thing is he doesn't get the children anything for Christmas and I've been sneakily getting them something small and signing it from him.
He doesn't know. My DH says he understands why I do it but doesn't really approve.
But, DCs are getting older now. 11 and 9. WIBU to stop now? Or should I carry on but drop him a breezy message like 'was doing then Christmas shopping and saw some great xxx which i know the children would love. We've already got them too much so I thought I could get them from you and we could add it to the chitty '
The chitty is a joke thing we have when one or other of us gets lunch and insists we add it to the chitty. It's imaginary in that we know the other will get it next time.
Just imagine conversations with the children in future when they thank him for their present and he's like 🤔