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AIBU?

Presents from overseas GF

4 replies

usernamerisnotavailable · 19/12/2019 09:34

My DF lives overseas. Other side of the world. With his second wife. We visited 2 years ago and had a lovely time. I've always been very close to him (when my parents split when I was 17 I moved in with him).

We don't speak that often, only when something to say rather than general chit chat. But I'm the same with everyone. He visits once a year in the summer and stays with us for a couple of weeks.

Thing is he doesn't get the children anything for Christmas and I've been sneakily getting them something small and signing it from him.

He doesn't know. My DH says he understands why I do it but doesn't really approve.

But, DCs are getting older now. 11 and 9. WIBU to stop now? Or should I carry on but drop him a breezy message like 'was doing then Christmas shopping and saw some great xxx which i know the children would love. We've already got them too much so I thought I could get them from you and we could add it to the chitty '

The chitty is a joke thing we have when one or other of us gets lunch and insists we add it to the chitty. It's imaginary in that we know the other will get it next time.

Just imagine conversations with the children in future when they thank him for their present and he's like 🤔

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RuggerHug · 19/12/2019 09:36

Do you send anything to them? I understand why you do it especially when they were little but does he not know or say anything about it?

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usernamerisnotavailable · 19/12/2019 10:06

I give him one big present when we see them in the summer.

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Jupiters · 19/12/2019 10:43

I can understand why you do it, but I don't think you should keep doing it. Your DF must be aware it's Christmas and that most GPs give presents to their GCs...he is making a conscious choice not to. Don't know why he's decided not to, but it's his choice to make.

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0wlinthewindow000 · 19/12/2019 13:34

He doesn't send presents, cards, money

It seems his present is to visit you and your family

I would stop. Some people don't "do presents & cards"

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