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AIBU?

To ask your pumping regime? [Edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

49 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:01

Babies steuggling to latch / getting so looks like pumoing. Milk finally come in so have started but my flow is low.

But I'm already beginning to think I've a mistake.

Babies feed hourly, take an hour. Settle them. Pump for 30 minutes. Sort bottles etc. That's basically 1h45. Then 15 getting ready before a feed.

Give me 1 I n 3 to sleep assuming babies are asleep, they're not great at night. Hard to sleep in day. So tgat's 3 hours sleep a day??

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

7 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
29%
You are NOT being unreasonable
71%
SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:02

Pumping

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 19/12/2019 00:06

You say babies - did you have twins? How much support do you have?

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:20

Yeah twins, husband is off til mid Jan so 5 weeks but he also has school run to do

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justcly · 19/12/2019 00:22

I was looking forward to everybody sharing some hilarious puns. I'm sad now. Sad

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:37

I'll add yo ito the list of people I make sad justcly

OP posts:
OneEpisode · 19/12/2019 00:44

Sorry I’n no expert on pumping other than the whole pump/store/sterilising everything /bottle feed cycle seems rather a lot of work for a new mum of twins, even with another parent about.
Have you been able to latch a previous child? I didn’t know how to, with my first and he was rather early and didn’t know either, We needed help to learn. Took days maybe?
Second child and I were fine from the first few minutes.

icclemunchy · 19/12/2019 00:50

Have you had any face to face bf support? From someone with good bf specific training? Speak to your midwife or hv see if there is an infant feeding coordinator for your Trust or have a look at the LLL website for your closest leader. It's much less stressful if you can get them to latch rather than pumping and having to wash and sterilise and what not

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 19/12/2019 00:51

How old are they, and how long have you been out of hospital? s it possible they might still crack latching? Every single woman and baby is different, but it took us two weeks to learn to breastfeed. Up till then I was pumping. As you have already realised, the time needed to pump is ruinous with multiples.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:54

@OneEpisode noeo, Ds1 was tune fed from birth, took partially orally at 9 weeks but he never wanted to go near

@icclemunchythe idea of having to try and get them both out to see someone just feels overwhelming.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:54

@JamieVardysHavingAParty came Friday, home Monday

OP posts:
Countryescape · 19/12/2019 00:55

That’s why they say pumping is the fastest way to bottle feeding. It’s almost impossible to exclusively pump and actually be able to sleep/function like a normal person because you are effectively doubling the amount of time spent on feeding. Don’t beat yourself up OP. Pump as you feel like it and formula feed the rest. Your baby will be fine and it’s better you don’t absolutely hate those lovely first weeks with your baby. Trust me I’m speaking from experience. I was a wreck all because of the pressure I put myself under to pump because my baby couldn’t latch. Good luck xx

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 00:55

Milk onl came in today, day 5

OP posts:
JamieVardysHavingAParty · 19/12/2019 01:01

Right, then I would say absolutely don't give up on breastfeeding if you want to breastfeed, but you need someone to come round and help you position them.

My personal stance is that no-one has any business telling a mother of multiples how to feed, but that also includes anyone who tells you that formula is easier. If they aren't going to come round to do the washing up after every feed, they should fuck off before they tell you what to do.

lifecouldbeadream · 19/12/2019 10:28

Exclusive pumping is hard- and absolute hats off to anyone who does it.

While it might feel overwhelming the idea of someone seeing you feed, it is the best way to get help. And as awkward as it might feel for you, they really have seen it all before.

As twins- are they early/small as this may make a difference. Nipple shields can help.

Personally I’d google the Flipple technique, it might help.

I really struggled to BF my first, and it took some time to get it sorted, I’m really glad now though that I did as I have successfully BF the next two.

If you are pumping - can your OH/DH do the feeding- so you can at least get some sleep.

With twins it’ll be harder as two sets of everything to do, but I think you need them waking at slightly different times so you can each manage alone- not always needing both of you. That said- congratulations on your babies- fed babies and (semi) sane and rested mum is best- be kind to yourself and do the thing that makes you able to enjoy your newborns- whatever that looks like.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 10:42

@lifecouldbeadream it isn't shyness, all sorts had a go in hospital its actually getting out my with two babies to go anywhere for someone to help me

Babies were 36 weekers but no help needed and were nearly 7lb each, feeding ok but not quite taking as much as they should.

L Google thst technique, thanks.

Re different sleep patterns, I'm a light sleep so if DH gets up to do feeds, I'm awake anyway. I've been getting him to fetch the milk then I've been doing feeds whilst he sleeps, and then he's up by a set time with eldest DS which today was 6! whilst I got to sleep in til the next feed, plus I can have a nap in the day

OP posts:
lifecouldbeadream · 19/12/2019 10:55

See if there is a specialist feeding Midwife who will come to you- or a BF peer supporter.

Lots of areas do feeding clinics, or La ale he League might know someone.

I’m a light sleeper myself so I do feel your pain on that one!

FoxFriend · 19/12/2019 11:13

I am now exclusively pumping following several weeks of mastitis and breast abscesses where it was too painful to breastfeed. It’s a real pain in the bum, and I only have one baby to feed, but I have built up a good supply (about 1300ml a day).

I started off pumping every two hours. A few days a week I did an hour of ‘power pumping’ which is meant to imitate cluster feeding. There are lots of little graphics if you google search it. I’ve dropped this now.

Now I pump around every 3-4 hours during the day and once overnight. I wish we were still able to breastfeed because I found it more convenient but the upside is I’ve built up a huge freezer stash of milk for when I do decide to stop.

If it’s too difficult to pump with two babies to look after, do reach out for some support. It may not be too late to get the latch figured out. I know my local area has weekly breastfeeding clinics run by the health visitors, and some of my NCT friends have found them very helpful.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 11:24

Midwife has said I need 8 pumps a day, so it's reassuring to hear you're managing in less. With DS1 I pumped thst regularly in hospital but once we were home it just wasn't possible.
I'm Lucky that DH is off for so long so I def want to do what I can in these 5 weeks even if I can't manage longer.

Just feels like something else I'm failing at

OP posts:
meetthewildes · 19/12/2019 11:40

Oh @sleepingstandingup, I wish that I could offer you a hug. Expressing for twins is HARD. I had two sets and I didn't get past four months with them because it felt absolutely punitive. They were perfectly happy, healthy formula-fed babies and now they're wonderful, bright little things at school and nursery.

However, with my fifth baby I went back to work when she was a fortnight old and I did produce enough for twins (and froze a hefty stash). My routine in the first three months looked like this:

02.30ish: Be woken by hungry baby. Feed baby on one side and express on the other until breast felt empty. If the baby came off of that breast before I had finished expressing, express both. If not, express the second breast once the baby had finished nursing to ensure that both were fully emptied and to encourage greater production.

06.00ish: Baby would doze on the breast, ‘snacking’ occasionally, and I didn’t bother to express.

07.30: Express both breasts before work.

10.30: Express both breasts at desk.

13.00: Express both breasts at lunch.

16.00: Express both breasts at desk.

19.00ish: Express both breasts at desk before leaving for home.

22.30 or so: Feed baby on one side and express on the other until breast felt empty. If the baby came off of that breast before I had finished expressing, express both. If not, express the second breast once the baby had finished nursing to ensure that both were fully emptied and to encourage greater production.

Each time that I expressed breastmilk for my daughter, it was with the aim that I would stay attached to the breastpump for a full thirty minutes in order to ensure that my breasts were fully emptied and to encourage my milk glands to produce more milk at the next feed. Realistically though, there were often times where I would only manage twenty minutes or I would reach a point where I knew that my breasts were mostly empty and struggled to justify the time away from my work.

I just want to say that you're definitely not failing! Breastfeeding is wonderful when it works out, but you have double the babies that most people have and if feeding them breastmilk doesn't work out for you for ANY reason, that's ok. You can still be a perfectly good mother and feed your babies formula and I'm sure that they will thrive on it - mine certainly did.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 11:45

Thansk, I've been doing 30 minutes so 15 each side but really need to find the damn attachment to use it as a double

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 19/12/2019 11:48

I pumped for my twins (both tube fed in nicu and then couldn’t latch). I pumped every 2 hours round the clock until they were 7 months old. I would not recommend it. If I could go back I’d cut down to 3 or 4 times a day, pump as much as I could and supplement the rest. Even pumping every 2 hours I still had to supplement them anyway, but I felt so shit about not being able to bf I couldn’t stop.

SinkGirl · 19/12/2019 11:48

Definitely get a double pump

Rachelle1980 · 19/12/2019 11:49

Oh dear op, I've been there. It took about 8 weeks of getting about 45min sleep max in broken chunks before I was a wreckage.

Triple feeding (breastfeeding, then supplemental formula if needed, then pumping.. followed by getting baby to sleep then cleaning all the pump parts) wasn't sustainable long term, it was a short term solution to get milk supply up etc.

So don't think of it as the new normal. I remember being in tears at 4am one morning at the end of that cycle, sobbing because I had 13 minutes... Yeah, minutes!!!! To sleep before my DC needed another feed. (Feeding problems, needed 3hr max between feeds on medical advice).

My suggestion is to cut out the NHS support unless you're getting good support, mine wasn't worth bothering with, they didn't have the specialist expertise or weren't there at the time I needed them most. The only thing that saved breastfeeding for us was La Leche League, travelling quite far to get to them at my lowest. Look I there's help near you.

Practical tip: you don't need to full sterilise the pump every time, keep the parts in the fridge then do it once a day. I saved a lot of time reading that tip from an American who was more used to pumping culture. My health visitor knew fuck all about pumps or milk supply or latching, waste of time talking to them.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/12/2019 11:52

I have a double, I've lost the piece of plastic that connects them 😭😭

Wow that's crazy impressive Sink I just don't know how people cope with no sleep

OP posts:
SinkGirl · 19/12/2019 11:52

Other thing if you can afford it - pay for a lactation consultant, they could help with maximising supply and maybe getting them to latch.

I know a lot of twin mums and barely any who exclusively breastfed or pumped. It’s extremely hard. Don’t beat yourself up.

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