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To be suspicious of DH

18 replies

ishecheating2019 · 18/12/2019 22:41

NC for this. AIBU to be suspicious of DH? Last few nights he’s been sleeping with his mobile under his pillow. We share a phone charger and it only reaches my side of the bed. He used to let the battery drain and recharge at night. Now he’s taking the charger to charge overnight and keeping the phone unde his pillow. He has not cheated before (that I know) and things were going alright between us I thought. Had a baby early this year so havent been shagging (difficult birth, PND, body not the same) hardly at all. He is a loving father to our DD and has been quite affectionate towards me lately.

Haven’t got much else except he bought a new brolly and the handle smelled a bit like a woman’s perfume but I thought it might just be an odour from the store or someone who had tried it.
AIBU or AIBnaive?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Feelingstupid123456789101112 · 18/12/2019 22:44

Did you smell the handle of his brolly?! Confused talk to him! Ask why the sudden change in how he charges his phone. It might be nothing, but his reaction may tell you one way or the other.


Instagrump · 18/12/2019 22:44

Well firstly get that phone from under his pillow. A charging phone is a massive fire hazard under a pillow!

And secondly, you need to get a look at it. I'm sorry but hiding his phone overnight is definitely on the side of shady behaviour.


Icanflyhigh · 18/12/2019 22:48

Phones under pillows is never good for so many reasons.
I agree it needs to come out from under there.
How is your communication of late? I know if OH started doing this, I could ask him outright and openly why the shifty behaviour? And he would tell me - hope!


bluesteakandcheese · 18/12/2019 22:50

@ishecheating2019 I'm not surprised you are feeling suspicious but please please try to not look tooooo much into this.
OK yeah he might be hiding his phone but if you've not had sex for a while he might be more regularly watching porn and does not want any notifications to pop up for fear of offending you? Or it could be something as simple as he can't be bothered reaching his phone on to the floor so slips it under his pillow! Despite what MN would have you believe, hiding his phone does not instantly make him a cheater.
Please try not to worry yourself too much. It is so easy to jump to conclusions and believe me, I'm very paranoid and suspicious so i get where you are coming from.
If you really suspect anything you need to nip it in the bud now and ASK him. Mention the phone, mention the umbrella.
Best of luck and hope everything turns out OK for you x


DeadyBear · 18/12/2019 23:08

I don’t charge my phone under my pillow but I do put it under there for my sleep app thing that tracks how many times I wake up, how well I sleep etc.
I really hope it’s nothing shady OP


Coulddowithanap · 18/12/2019 23:14

Could it possibly be something like hiding a Christmas present from you? That's what I'm currently doing with my husband. Every other advert on my phone is a present I've bought for him and I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Hiding a phone doesn't always mean something bad.

Oh and I agree with pp, charging a phone under a pillow is a hugh fire risk.


PawPawNoodle · 18/12/2019 23:18

Do not snoop on his phone. Have a conversation with the man, you trusted him enough to marry and have a child with him, I dont see why you can't calmly bring up a small change in behaviour and go from there.

For what its worth I sometimes sleep with my phone under the pillow to listen to sleep soundtracks without disturbing Mr Noodle.


OxiBrilloRange · 18/12/2019 23:24

Could be hiding present notifications etc

Could be an affair or porn?


itsswelltime · 19/12/2019 11:15

You never know a person fully. Giving him the chance to delete anything isnt a good idea. Give it a few days watching him?
I would look in his phone.
Does it have a lock? I go on dps phone everyday. Just to use it not looking for anything. Can you do that?


ch3rrycola · 19/12/2019 11:19

Buy a new charger, give it to him and say stop charging your phone under the pillow it's a fire hazard


PawPawNoodle · 19/12/2019 12:10

@itsswelltime Christ, I'm glad I'm not your partner. It must be exhausting being so cynical.


itsswelltime · 19/12/2019 12:19

Changing in phone habbits is a big indicator. The OP is worried enough to post on an anonymous website about it.
Im not cynical, just realistic. People cheat. And lie.

I hope he isn't and it is just an xmas surprise but you never know what other people are doing.


Scarsthelot · 19/12/2019 12:22

If my dp started putting his phone under the pillow I would be thinking something is going on. As he hasnt done that before. But I would just ask him.

I, personally, dont think therws anything to lose by trusting someone. They may turn out to be a shit. But ibwoild rather trust my partner than snoop. That said I would keep an eye out for further things.

However that fact that you think his umbrella smelt like a woman, suggests you are feeling a little paranoid?


Bluntness100 · 19/12/2019 12:24

The phone thing is weird, but so is smelling the handle of his umbrella.


TheReef · 19/12/2019 12:29

Apart from anything else charging a phone under a pillow is a huge fire hazard.


Owlypants · 19/12/2019 12:34

I'm hiding my phone from dp due to notifications for gifts popping up, also every ad that pops up is for something similar to what I've bought him. Phone under the pillow really isn't safe though.


AryaStarkWolf · 19/12/2019 12:50

The phone thing is weird, but so is smelling the handle of his umbrella.

Grin I'd imagine it was lying somewhere and she got a waft of perfume and was checking where it came from? I doubt she just goes round randomly smelling inanimate objects

The phone thing is a bit odd alright OP but not necessarily another woman ......but also agree with whoever said he shouldn't be sleeping with a phone under his pillow, it's dangerous


GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/12/2019 13:29

He's also at risk of setting his pillow on fire if it's charging and can't cool down.

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