Some perspective please - daughters barista job.

[mydaughtersmum2]

NCed for this one . Not sure what is expected in cafe environment so need some perspective please on an issue. In the main my twenties Dd loves her job at a well known coffee chain . She has been there a while. She also has AS which may be relevant. An incident happened at the cafe a few weeks ago. The shift manager (SM) messed up following an incident which resulted in an A and E visit for her. SM was given a warning for this. Since then SM has been pretty awful to her culminating in yesterday. Think overly critical , unfriendly , judgemental , quick to anger.

2 were working together yesterday pm, SM wanted to leave shift early and close down quickly. This is after cafe closes to customers. Told DD to do things she was untrained for and ended up shouting and swearing at her when they weren’t done quick enough nor properly. She did tell him she was not trained to do the things she was asked to do and usually does other roles in close down. One things beyond their control meant that close down yesterday wasn’t going to be super easy - not all loos working , late customers. SM wasn’t just frustrated , shouting and swearing was addressed directly at her.

She left in tears. On the way home SM rang her to give a poor version of an apology. That they were quick to anger recently that she wasn’t to take it personally and that if angry to her, it just means SM is comfortable enough to express their anger around my DD! [speechless]

I am furious ! Is this typical of the catering industry? She wasn’t working today but due back in tomorrow.

She has contacted store manager but feels that solution proposed means that store manager is not dealing with this properly.

@ElizabethG81 I do not think that OP is overinvested in her daughter's work life at all. She is just trying to be supportive and help her daughter find a solution, as any loving parent would do. It is not as if she has barged into her daughter's workplace and given the shift manager a gobful. I dont have special needs but my parents were amazingly supportive when I was bullied by a former manager.

OP, I definitely think your daughter shouldspeak to the store manager, with or without the shift manager present. And also maybe start to keep a written record of all these incidents.

I grew up in the catering industry and am now somewhat responsible for our younger staff (our kitchen porters) as I have been the one to employ them.

Sometimes tempers can run high and we do have a shouty chef but the manager's behaviour is not acceptable, nor is it normal. Very poor, is there someone else higher up the chain that your daughter can speak to?

She has contacted store manager but feels that solution proposed means that store manager is not dealing with this properly - what solution has been proposed?

Obviously opinions vary My parents wouldn't have had a clue what went on at my workplace when I was that age, they certainly wouldn't have a blow by blow account of a manager kicking off.

Don't get me wrong, the manager sounds like an absolute shit, but what I'm trying to say is that the OP shouldn't be going barging in with "contacting HR", "sending emails", as is being suggested. Some emotional support, yes, but "what shall WE do about it?" does seem overly involved to me. She needs to fight her own battles.

No offence OP, but DD will look even less like a model employee than the SM if you start sending head office furious emails from Mummy.

SM is a bully. They don't stop, generally. DD should get another job and tell HR why she's leaving.

ElizabethG81 do you have ASD though? OP clearly stated that her daughter has. Bullies like the Store Manager often pick on people who are vulnerable in some way. I am glad that this young woman has an advocate, someone to look out for her being sworn and shouted at by some bloke.

The other day I was in COSTA and when paying it asked me if I'd like to add a £1 tip. I said to the young woman and man standing near me whether they got the tip. (I'm in there a fair bit and we often have a chat.) They don't get the tip. Apart from being a total fucking rip-off I'm surprised that it's legal????

Point I'm making is I think they are stressful places to work. They told me how little they get paid, and they reckoned that even the Area Manager so fair old bit of responsibility Is only on £10 ph. Sickening, really.

I only go in there because of their opening hours.

By the way I deliberately mentioned the name of the store because I think their practices are shameful. Is it against the rules to do that?

Get your dauyghter to report the SM

the SM got a warning for the A&E incident
So I can't imagine the store manager would be too impressed with the shift anager making your daughter do tasks she is untrained to do, that is a health and safety risk for your daughter

If store manager won't donything go higher up to whoever he/she answers to

Your daughter is aid to do job, not be someone's verbal punchbag and take swearing and verbal abuse...that is not right and she shouldn't have to put up with it...it's bullying

I said to the young woman and man standing near me whether they got the tip.

Oh dear. Its late, am exhausted and have had wine. I meant "asked" of course

I've worked in many areas and noticed that aggression seems to be normal in catering, especially among male chefs. I have hardly ever met a good-natured chef. There are bad-tempered people in any occupation, but rudeness and intimidating behaviour almost seem expected of chefs.

Just as well your DD is not a junior in a hospital. What you have described would be an excellent day.

Solution proposed was “chat about their squabbles” I am not proposing to get involved personally just help her compose something to get it in writing if that is a 2ay forward. I have also advised her to rehearse in her mind what she would say and do if this happens again. She really doesn’t want to leave but yes moving store could be an alternative / worst case scenario.