To think that I am assertive, not bossy? What would you do next?

[SurferRona]

Had 1:1 with my boss today and winkled out of him some feedback on my performance (he doesn't do feedback). All he said was that I was 'bossy' in a recent team meeting, but couldn't give the specifics. I can be direct, but do so nicely- and I think I do a good job given his faffiness (grrr....). How would you respond to this? I'm thinking about emailing him the Sheryl Sandberg thing about wanting to ban the word 'bossy' for women - what would you do next?

I think in your position I'd be asking him in what way bossy differed from assertive. I'd want it defined. If he can't define it, I'd start to wonder if he's challenged by confident women.

Burn them, burn them all

Yes definitely email him the sheryl sandberg piece. Hopefully it will inform this that ‘Bossy’ is a sexist word, ask him would he refer to a man as bossy? Luckily I work in a progressive place and make managers are aware of this,

Male not make

Sorry about typos, I’m cross for you and typed it quickly!

@EowynDernhelm I think he is. Previous confident woman in team left after 8 months and apparently she was quite direct with him (more so than me!). I will follow up and ask him- but he probably won't get the bias point...I had to explain to him what indirect discrimination was the other day

LTB

I'm surprised he didn't use the word 'feisty'.

Thank you @Minky35 (and @Far2go46! I could be persuaded..) I am really surprised about his lack of knowledge on equalities given he's managing in the public sector (Gvt), he's clearly had no training for it.

It’s funny isn’t it how men are assertive and women are bossy. He sounds like he’s out of the dark ages. He probably doesn’t like having to manage someone who’s not afraid to speak their mind. Good for you 👌🏻

'Assertive' really annoys me though as it's a word I've only ever heard used to describe women!

A man would just be 'confident'.

I fucking hate that.