To not visit friend again?

[daffodilrosedaisy]

Urgh. My friend lives a long way away (a plane journey). I’ve visited her twice this year, once just last week and once in early summer. She has a big family, and I really love her kids.

However, both times now I’ve come home with headlice. I’m such a clean freak, but I do understand sometimes kids catch them at school. However, the fact it’s been BOTH times now just makes me not want to visit again, even though she’s my friend. I couldn’t see her without the kids being there, as they’re such a big family so she’s always got at least some with her, and because I stay with them I inevitably end up with the kids playing with me, hugging me, sitting on my lap etc. She can’t afford to ever fly and visit me, so it’s always me going there. I’ve already given the nits to my Mum since I’ve been home (she discovered them today, and I found mine yesterday). Just so frustrated and it makes me want to not to again, which probably sounds really bratty but she has so many kids I honestly don’t see how she’d have the time to sit down and nit comb ALL of them! In fact, I’m slightly suspicious that they’ve had them since early summer...

Do I bring it up with her? Am I being unreasonable in my reaction - hard for me to judge as nits is a MASSIVE deal for me as I’m a clean freak. Thanks.

I wouldn't be visiting again.

Tell her

Yeah me neither I'd. Not visit. Once fair enough but not twice.

It's a bit grim that the kids apparently constantly have headlice. I'd probably just put tea tree oil on my hair before visiting and hope for the best if she's a good friend.

But heads have to touch for about 2 minutes for head lice to transfer don’t they? Or have the lice finally learned to jump?
Or combs or headgear have to be shared..

Souvenirs op!!.

Seriously send her a text. ..

If you are going to go again, tie long hair up and back, put product in it such as gel or hairspray. Gel for short hair obviously.
Tea tree oil as someone said, there's a nit repelling shampoo and conditioner with tea tree and peppermint in it.

Did you declare them at the airport?!

I told her last time (really nicely, saying I may have caught them on the plane, I just wanted to let her know so she can check the kids) and she got a bit funny with me. Not sure if it’s rude to tell her again? Surely if they constantly have them so must she? 😷

Yes, heads do have to touch but they sit on my lap a lot, have cuddles sat on the sofa, one even came into my room one night and slept in my bed because she was feeling poorly so plenty of opportunities for them to spread unfortunately 😕 Plus I don’t have any other friends with kids, never use public transport as I mainly work from home and don’t work with children so I’m fairly confident they came from there (plus I haven’t actually been out since, except to the office twice!).

Headlice happens. Last year my son didn't get them once. This school year its been 3 times. Its not his fault. I check him regularly but I cant stop him getting them. Not all treatment works, either
I've treated us all twice for one bout of headlice.

Thanks for the tips @LongLiveThePenis

😂😂 @Winterdaysarehere hitchhikers!

@Neptunesgiraffe Thanks, that’s made me feel a bit less concerned about the kids having them constantly. May have just been bad luck.

“Heads up - Your kids are riddled with nits. I’ve been scratching my head off and I’ve even given them to my mum. Next time I come out I’m bringing you a big bottle of Hedrin and a nit comb 😂”

I would tell her.
She needs to know and if she gets arsey then that is down to her.
I would still visit if you love her and her family.
I would ensure I use tea tree for a while before you go next time.
Also have your hair up in a bun.
Hair net and everything and lots of hairspray!!!!
A head scarf if you have to.

Yuck.

Tell her. If she gets funny that's on her, but if you don't tell her and the kids have it for longer because she was unaware then that's not fair on them and that's on you. Don't make them suffer longer just to avoid potentially an off reaction from her which may not even happen.

Ugh. She’s minging.

Could you wear a wig?

once..it happens.. TWICE... not acceptable ..

I wouldn’t visit her again.

It doesn’t matter how time consuming the process, not getting rid of head lice with rigorous combing is neglect.

Tell her. It'd be more rude not to tell her and never visit her again. Don't mention being a clean freak because that's implying you get nits by being dirty.

I have 2 kids - a boy and a girl. My daughter had nits on and off for a YEAR and she wasn't the only one. This was despite me using chemicals, conditioner, nitty gritty, tea tree and an expensive electric thing. It was a NIGHTMARE!

Definitely tell her. You've had them since you came home. While it's not necessarily accusing her kids, it's only manners to let the people you've been in contact with know about it I wouldn't stay in her house again - book a hotel or Airbnb and keep your hair tied up and don't have the kids too close.

They are gross but worth coming between u and a good friend? Nah...tell her though.

It's not necessarily her fault. I remember one year when my DD kept getting them (and of course, me also). It's very easy for the kids to pick them up at school, especially if some parents don't treat them properly, so it becomes a continuous cycle. Pain in the arse.

Up to you if you don't want to carry on seeing her, but your attitude towards her is unreasonable.

Ifshe got funny last tome she knows!
There was a bad headlice problem at our school. My head was checked and combed almost every night.
We didn't have them over the summer but we got them back in the first week ever year until the youngest left.
It was relentless and we were all embarrassed but short of changing schools we couldnt do anything.
We even had our hair cut short. It just was a problem we had to deal with.
There were 5 of us and the older ones would go through the younger ones hairs. They would not go.
Be kind. Dint lose a friend over lice. Especially if it is only 2x a year. Don't embarrass her. It is a community problem not just a family problem.
If one parent doesnt care/ bother at the school, all the children will be stuck with it. Unless you can clearly see hundred on the childrens heads amd clothes without having to move hair around (like you could with some of the girls at our school) then she is trying.

Thanks for your comments everyone. I don’t judge her at all and I know nits can be prevalent in primary schools, I just hate having them as it’s gross and takes ages to get rid of! I spoke to her and she was a bit off with me. I didn’t suggest it was her kids who gave them to me... but obviously she’ll have realised it’s been twice now too...