Presents

[shoveyerxmas]

I have 4 siblings, and some in laws.
One of them suggested by text that we do secret Santa this year, and otherwise just get for the kids (all but one has kids).

I replied as being up for that, as did one other, and said go ahead and arrange if okay with everyone.

Nothing more came of that, even after a follow up text. SIL has now said she's bought wee token gifts as the secret Santa wasn't going anywhere and two hadn't replied about it at all.

AIBU to tell them all I'm just making a Christmas charity donation. I don't see the point in buying stuff none of us need, just for the sake of it. I will buy a gift for the one who doesn't have kids, as she'll be buying for all our kids.

It's obviously a bit awkward if some have now bought presents, but they haven't said either way? Obviously SIL has and has explained why. I'll be getting for her three kids and she'll get for my two.

What do you think?

I would love to not to gifts at all, bar under 18s of course, as we are all adults who don't need anything, the trick is getting our two families on board as they always seem to expect gifts...

I think your idea of a donation, I do this with Christmas card money as cba to do cards, and gifts for kids and the childless family member is perfect.

It's not your fault if others get the adults gifts tbh.

Years ago I asked for any presents to me to be in the form of money loaned in the third world via one of the sites that do this to help people set up things they would otherwise be unable to afford: setting up a shop in their village, or getting a generator to charge batteries for lighting, or a sewing machine to make clothes for sale, that sort of thing. Then the money they make is returned to the donor, who has the choice of putting it towards a new loan or taking it back.

Some of "my" loans are now on their third or fourth time round to different people, and that makes me feel so much better over Christmas than any physical present could!

I don't know whether I am allowed to post links to actual organisations, but this is an article from The Guardian which talks about this. The site they mention is not the only one, but it gives the idea.

www.theguardian.com/money/2012/nov/02/ethical-gifts-lending-money-developing-world