Social Services Random Visit

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Ive just had a random visit from a woman from childrens services saying they had an anonymous call saying i had been shouting at my children & the kids shouting all the time

I have recently had an argument with a neighbour so know exactly where its come from,

The woman was nice & just asked about home life and we spoke about my youngests behaviour, she said she needed to speak to nursery and school and she would get back to me by friday and let me know if she was going to close it or if they needed to visit me again

I have been going to the same nursery for 2 years and have no worries about nursery but i dont know what schools do. Will the school/woman talk to my child? I have nothing to hide but now i have images of school pulling my child to one side and asking does your mummy shout at you

I said to the woman i do occasionally shout, we are not generally a shouty household but somtimes i do end up shouting. I have anxiety so my thoughts run with themselves, im just wondering what schools do when this happens

SS will ask the school about your DC behaviour.
All will be fine the case will be closed.
They get a lot of 'hoax' calls and can spot them a mile away.
Don't worry. They have to investigate every report.
The case will be closed pretty quickly.
Your neighbour is a cunt.
What a waste of resources that are already stretched.
People can be real assholes!

I had this exact thing. Unannounced visit from ss after a malicious call was made about me. And yes the social worker did go to the school to speak to my children about it. It took ages for the case to be closed.

I've had this a couple of times (same bloody neighbour ) ss did talk to dc 1st couple of times but now they just phone me and have reported neighbour to the police

Thank you for the replies,

Ive spoke to nursery & told them that they came today and they said not to worry, they said generally if school had an issue they would speak to me before SS and if school had never pulled me in for anything then not to worry,

Do you think i should speak to school or not? My child only started in september but school have never raised any issues or concerns with me about her or her home life

I know its the neighbour and i know nothing will likely come of this but im just feeling worried about it

Im trying not to focus on it but shes a spiteful cow doing it this close to christmas,

I hope the woman can speak to nursery today because they close for christmas at 6pm

I would speak to the School personally. They must have experience of this.

I spoke to school and they were nice about it aswell, they know the neighbour anyway as she is an alcoholic and were asking me about my options of moving ( im in temporary housing fleeing DV & school know this )

They said SS would want to know if they had any safe gaurding concerns which they said they dont,

They did say if i felt like i was struggling there were parent courses available and i said i was interested, i dont think im massively struggling but i dont like it when i do shout and if there is a way to stop it from even occasionally happening then thats better isnt it

I knew there wouldnt be an issue but because of my anxiety i have to hear it from the horses mouth, i feel much beyter now school and nursery have said they dont have any concerns

Sounds like it will be sorted out quickly then op, What a silly neighbour wasting SS time!

I’m glad SS investigate cases. It’s not a waste of time! If, say, one in 25 low-level investigations like this results in a child being rescued from abuse, it’s worth it. The neighbour isn’t being a cunt (as a PP said); she’s concerned about hearing an adult shouting at a child.

I’m saying it’s a waste of their time because the call was malicious! Yes it’s good they investigate but it’s a shame when someone does it out of spite!

Just read the rest of what you said which is true. I thought the op was saying it was totally malicious. So maybe you’re right and it was done out of concern

Of course it's great the investigate every call but how awful of someone to make a malicious call and waste hard preseed resources.

OP all will be fine, it's a hassle but will be soon forgotten.

Don't worry OP I shout sometimes too! My children also only work on loud volume. My neighbours have kids the same age and we're all the same. You don't need to go on a course because you occasionally shout.

Just hopping in here to say that no, you don’t need to go on a parenting course, but everyone I know who has done one had enjoyed it and found it helpful.
It sounds like you’re having a very stressful time at the moment (respect for getting away from the abuse!), so maybe weigh up how much your stress comes from parenting and how much it would help to have some support and validation around that. I tend to take whatever help is going, but it can sometimes end up being more of a burden than a help if it’s not well targeted.

Sorry to hear about your fuckwit neighbour OP.

I'm a parenting course facilitator (Empowering Parents Empowering Communities) and love it and have had lots of positive feedback (worked with a few women who were victims of domestic abuse) so if you're offered that one I'd recommend it

I hope you told the SW about the row with your neighbour and how she has alcohol problems and is “known” to the school?

I had visit from SS, the only one I have ever had, when a neighbour reported my dd, who was 13, for 'engaging in sexual activity'
I know it was my neighbour because she helpfully knocked on my door and told me she was going to do it (she was drunk)
SS came and had a chat, but they weren't interested. They knew my neighbour.too well. My daughter was not the first child she had reported. Not by a long way.
After a brief chat they closed the case and we have never heard from them again.
People who maliciously call SS should be prosecuted, although probably difficult to prove the difference between malice and misplaced concern, which I guess is how they get away with it
Dont worry

OP, who told you it was the neighbour that called SS?

I personally think the neighbour was being a cunt, she said when we had the argument she was going to ring social services. Yes i did tell them that i knew it was the neighbour as she said she was going to ring them when we had the argument

I dont think it was out of concern for my children, the shouting and screaming matches she has with her boyfriends are more frequent than the times i shout at my children. Whilst ive lived here shes had drama with several boyfriends, the last one smashed her windows while her kids were there, it was definetly done out of spite and not concern, she doesnt care about her kids witnessing all that so doubt she cares id my kids are getting shouted at occasionally,

I feel a lot less anxious now i have spoken to school and nursery, its the unknown that makes you worry isnt it

I dont think i desperatly need to go on a parenting course but i do feel like i would benefit from it,

No one told me it was the neighbour but to be fair, the only people i know around here ( im in temporary housing ) is my 2 neighbours and school and nursery. I literally have no friends in this area, id never even heard of it before they moved us here

I have had this with crazy drunk neighbours. Fortunately they were being housed by the council. When I rang the tenancy support officer to start a diary on their antisocial behaviour they were on first name terms as they had been reported by everyone they ever lived next to. Some people are shit heads.