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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grotto Argument

92 replies

applesauce1 · 18/12/2019 11:07

Firstly. The DAILY MAIL ARE WANKERS.

Took my son to see Father Christmas today at a lovely grotto. There were craft activities and an animatronic festive trail with Christmas music in the background. I went with my mum.

While walking through the animatronic trail, showing my son the (somewhat disturbing) dancing reindeer, a man gets on his phone and starts having a really loud conversation about his Sunday football lineup. My mum was cross as it was spoiling the atmosphere. After around 5 minutes, mum asked him to kindly hang up so she could enjoy the Christmas music. He started having an argument with her about how it was an important work call, and that she was spoiling the atmosphere by having a go at him. My mum then suggested that he spend less time on his phone and pay attention to his child. The wife/partner also got involved and a raised voice altercation ensued between the three of them.

Honestly, I hate conflict so I became very very engrossed in the dancing penguins, talking at length to my baby about how they really do go up and down.

Him being on the phone so loudly for so long was annoying, but I personally would have just tried to ignore him.

Oh and the experience cost £15, if that’s relevant.

Who was being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
applesauce1 · 18/12/2019 11:08

Oh for the purpose of the voting:

YABU - phonecall man was in the right
YANBU - mum was in the right

OP posts:
Vulpine · 18/12/2019 11:09

Good for your mum. He sounds like a tosser

DryHeaving · 18/12/2019 11:12

God, I hate people like him. Good on your mum

hellsbellsmelons · 18/12/2019 11:12

He's a fucking twat.
If it was really an important work call then he could have stepped away and taken it somewhere else.
Your mum was absolutely right to have a go.
I hate the fucking 'I'm so important because I'm a big man with a big job' types.
Go fuck yourself you self-absorbed asshole!
Good on your mum!!!!

PurpleDaisies · 18/12/2019 11:14

You know that your disclaimer about the daily mail is totally pointless?

The guy on the phone was totally in the wrong.

ThrilledToTiddlyBits · 18/12/2019 11:14

Were you at Keydell, by any chance?

Tbh I wish more people (myself included) would stand up and say when someone is being selfish and ruining an experience for others. Especially one you've paid for! Many of us are guilty of being far too British and not wanting to say anything. YANBU.

recrudescence · 18/12/2019 11:16

I don’t understand the reference to the Daily Mail. How were they involved?

PurpleDaisies · 18/12/2019 11:16

I don’t understand the reference to the Daily Mail. How were they involved?

Posters do this to try and stop the threads being used for stories in the daily mail. It’s pointless.

recrudescence · 18/12/2019 11:21

TY for explaining PurpleDaisies. Yes, that is obviously pointless.

Pardonwhat · 18/12/2019 11:25

YABU for thinking that your disclaimer will stop the Daily Mail.

Your mum was not being unreasonable. Good on her.

Sandsnake · 18/12/2019 11:27

Phone man 100% in the wrong. It sadly seems to be an increasing phenomenon that some people are struggling to understand when using their phone is deeply inappropriate. Drives me crazy. That said, I think your mum would have done better to have just focussed on how his behaviour was affecting her and her family, as opposed to commenting on him needing to focus more on his child. That’s always going to inflame things. I hope you still managed to enjoy the grotto!

ShinyGiratina · 18/12/2019 11:31

Surely if it's an important call he needs to step away from the singing anamatronics. Disturbing a group of people for 5 minutes is ridiculous. Normally it's viable to appologise and call back shortly after at a more convienient and discreet opportunity. Few things are genuine emergencies for immediate resolution.

It never ceases to amaze me how loudly people conduct their business. I don't know what it is about the acoustics of the frontage of my house, but the number of cars that pull up and speaker-phone their calls and pedestrians that pass loudly having calls where I not only get a clear version at my end, but the muffled garbings of the other end. Why loudly broadcast your personal/ business matters to everyone within 50 metres? Confused

Figgygal · 18/12/2019 11:31

Good on your mum for taking him on I would've probably just tried to ignore him and rolled my eyes but why should people act so inconsiderately

£15 isn't a lot for an experience like that unless it was each ?

Hingeandbracket · 18/12/2019 11:37

I have mixed feelings. I am firmly in the same camp as your Mum - but - as has been pointed out to me, taking on these self-important cunty twats doesn’t always end well. If they were reasonable they wouldn’t be doing it in the first place. It is a hard one.

InTheBleakMidwinterIWouldSing · 18/12/2019 11:40

I don't know how you could think that your mother was the one BU!

Otherwise, why would anyone ever concentrate on anything? There wouldn't be any 'atmosphere' anywhere. If a work call is ok in the Christmas grotto, then surely I can also go and have a chit-chat with my auntie on the phone? On speakerphone? Or take my laptop along and sit down for a few very important work emails? What about FaceTiming for an important meeting?

Where would it end?

The grotto is for being there in the moment, IMO.

InTheBleakMidwinterIWouldSing · 18/12/2019 11:42

Oh, and IMO the DM mention does stop the DM.

I've never seen them lift a story from here that begins, "The Daily Mail are a bunch of wankers". Perhaps I don't read it enough though?

ThreeAnkleBiters · 18/12/2019 11:44

He should have gone outside or not gone in at all if he needed to take an important call. Your mum was right it was ruining the atmosphere. Does he expect to go to the cinema or a classical concert and take calls there too?

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2019 11:46

The guy on the phone was in the wrong but your mum was spectacularly rude.

My mum then suggested that he spend less time on his phone and pay attention to his child.

Because of that ^^ I voted YABU.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2019 11:47

Oh, and IMO the DM mention does stop the DM.

I've never seen them lift a story from here that begins, "The Daily Mail are a bunch of wankers". Perhaps I don't read it enough though?

Oh come on, you can't be serious! Grin Grin

Like they wouldn't just delete that bit?

OmniversalsTapdancingTadpole · 18/12/2019 11:49

Good for your mum for standing up to that entitled wanker.

TheStuffedPenguin · 18/12/2019 11:51

So many people about like this now as well as the kids who scream in restaurants and other places and are ignored by their parents . It's the " me me " culture now.

Straycatstrut · 18/12/2019 11:51

I'm with your mum, and go her for having the balls to say what I couldn't - but I'd fear a sweary rant firing up in front of the kids.

I'd have tried to move away from him - go to the back of the queue again and if questioned, explain why politely.

I'm taking my kids to a grotto this weekend (only time I could fit it in with work) and it's the only Christmas activity I can afford, it's on a tramway and I'm really hoping it's just me, my kids and my mum in our section !

Cohle · 18/12/2019 11:52

If that sort of person cared what those around them thought they wouldn't be on the phone in the first place. Your mum just made a scene and made the situation more unpleasant for everyone around her.

Your Daily Mail disclaimer is ridiculous.

BillHadersNewWife · 18/12/2019 11:52

I can't help but feel your Mum was wrong. He may have been annoying but it wasn't a theatre or anything! You could have just hung about till' you lost him....or ignored him. You can't go around telling people how to parent!

Lulualla · 18/12/2019 11:54

He was being annoying but you cant really police how other people behave when they arent doing anything "wrong". It never ends well.

Why didn't you simply drop back and let them go on ahead?