How to Understand Men In Relationships. Blimey!

[Hotchocandotherdrinks]

AIBU to say that it makes no difference if he's married or not...
Feeling so naive and stupid!
I'm single and met him through work. We get on very well from the beginning.
He is very charming.
I started enjoying his company until... a couple of weeks later he said "I'm single, I never married her and never will".
He made clear she is important as the mother of his children but otherwise he wouldn't be with her.
AIBU to say that it makes no bloody difference if he's married or not? Single or not he is in a committed relationship.

I feel an idiot because I fancy him and he keeps flirting me. He opened up and talk to me about almost everything and we keep this as a nice friendship. Friendship make us feel good but I don't want to end up with an emotional affair.
What to do? I don't want to be rude and all of a sudden cut off communication with him but OH men!

You’re not friends, it’s an emotional affair. Move on.

Thank you for reading and your answers are really helpful because I don't know where I'm standing sometimes.

Thing is that we have to work together and we run meetings twice a month. Over the course of the time, this can spell real trouble.
In closing, should I send and email to him saying how I feel about it?

Nah, just start being distant with him. Be more professional, be more too busy to chat. Don't have a break up.

No email, if he texts you or sends you a personal message reply saying you’d like to keep your conversations purely work related.

Just to make it very clear, we never had any physical contact. He never admitted clearly that he likes/fancies me either.
But I won't deny the intensity of our connection.

Cheaters are used to being knocked back. He won't make a big fuss if you go cold.

The intensity was him working you to get into your knickers. It wasn't real. He's following the script.

Do you think the mother of his children knows she is in an open relationship or whatever kind of arrangement he thinks they have and that he considers himself single? Do you think when when brings up or other people around them bring up marriage, he says 'nah, I like the single life, and being free to form connections with other women' or do you think he gives them some guff about marriage just being a piece of paper? I'd guess the latter and he is lying to everyone. If you don't love your partner any more, it's not hard these days to leave and still be a committed parent.

If you want to continue an intense connection with someone who trash talks and likely betrays the mother of his children then go ahead

OK done. Email sent. Maybe it was a fatal mistake but I did it.

Response came in and says that "he is surprised! He values my friendship and that's all. He also said that if I prefer him to change team in order not to work together anymore then he understands".

Come on, after all the flirting and private matters displayed, now he is surprised??
Well, now I'm more confused than ever in my life.
Not to mention I feel the most disconcerted and ashamed woman in the world (sorry... low self steem issues for a long time)

Of course he said that. What kind of liar would he be if he told the truth now?
He has to win, and if he doesn’t get what he wants he will just pretend he never wanted it.
You’ll have witnessed this before, right? In the playground when boys are mean etc.
And you do realise he’s probably laughing at you, right? He’s got you admitting things..
Sorry to be harsh but you need to forget it!

Krazynights34 thank you

Im hating this situation tbh!

He won’t even be giving you or this another thought and will be moving on to his next conquest.

You’ve done the right thing

I'm a bit confused by the first post.

So, before his revelation you thought you were flirting with a married man?