NC for this.
I feel lost. Like I don’t really belong to any of the families I’m linked to.
My dad left my mum when I was 8. He left her for one of her best friends. My relationship with him had never really been close, I don’t really have any memories of doing anything with him when I was younger. Barely see him now. He might pop in once a year to drop off my kids bday/Xmas presents. He only lives 5 mins away.
My mum re married when I was 16 and I kind of became part of that family. I had 2 step brothers and 2 step sisters. Went to all their family ‘do’s’ with the mass of cousins/aunts/uncles etc...but was never really one of ‘them’ it was clear I was on the outside as such.
When I had my DD at 19, her dads family never really liked me. I wasn’t included in anything his mum/sisters did. I tried my hardest to involve myself and suggest things but no, I wasn’t welcome.
Years later I married and had 2 DC with my now exh. To start with his family were great, it was like the big happy family I always wanted. But after 9 years of marriage, we split (joint decision) and NONE of his family have spoken to me or my DD since. Obviously they see my other children (their grandchildren) but would walk past me and my DD in the street.
I met my DP 5 years ago and we are very happy. He’s a wonderful man and I’m so lucky to have him. Because his sisters were so close to my DPs Exw they will have nothing to do with me, still. His brothers and mum and dad are lovely and have welcomed me with open arms but because of his sisters I am not welcome at family parties etc if they are there. My DP has cut all contact with them because of this.
So consequently, I feel like I’m floating around in the middle of everyone else’s families. I know I have my children and my DP and his children but I don’t feel like I ‘belong’ to a family as such.
I realised the other day, that now I’ve changed my last name back to my maiden name, I will never share a last name with my children/grandchildren. Ever.
I know i may sound selfish, because I have a lot of family around me. I just don’t feel that I’m truly part of any it.
To feel like I don’t belong anywhere?
Laila747 · 18/12/2019 09:31
NC for this.
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