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to expect him to have money for christmas?

32 replies

Snowmonster · 18/12/2019 04:20

AIBU to expect OH to have money for christmas?

I save a weekly amount for Christmas from the January, i work part time and this is the best way for me to fund Christmas. OH on the other hand always says a week before christmas "I haven't got a lot to spend on christmas" so I end up heavily subsidising him and basically paying for most of christmas.

I have bought our son's presents weeks ago with OH being left to buy him a bicycle, he still hasn't organised this and I know he will say this weekend he doesn't have the money.

AIBU expecting him to save even just a £10 a week for christmas so he can make a decent contribution towards the whole of christmas. Christmas is the same time every year and it really hacks me off that he never has the poxy money and its left for me to finance.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

231 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
converseandjeans · 18/12/2019 07:33

snow guess that's different if he wants to buy it. I would just scale back what you spend - when kids were tiny we would spend £30-40 and now they're older about £100 each. We're not being tight - we have lots of other people to buy for and don't earn massive salaries.
I think my kids still have a fun Christmas & get plenty from family & friends. They save up for bigger gifts themselves like iPod, bike, scooter etc.
I don't think they will miss the bike if they don't know about it. But he should give money towards other gifts.

JaJoJe · 18/12/2019 21:03

My DH the same, saves nothing all year and leaves it til the last minute when he gets his pay check right before Xmas, pisses me off which inevitably means he spends twice as much and cant get many things.

Creepster · 18/12/2019 21:13

One year my mum who is decision averse and takes no responsibility for anything ever got so used to me doing all the organizing, planning, crafting, shopping, wrapping and delivering, that she gave me nothing.
It simply never occurred to her that she needed to do anything but enjoy the day.
The obvious answer to the obvious question is, yes. She was a diagnosed narcissist.

peachypetite · 18/12/2019 21:17

Why are your finances so separate?

paranoidmum2 · 18/12/2019 21:49

He is financially abusive. Why are you paying 40% of bills on a p/t wage? How much more does he earn?

Wildorchidz · 18/12/2019 22:00

He is financially abusive. Why are you paying 40% of bills on a p/t wage? How much more does he earn?

The op has 3 older children. She receives no money from their father. Her oh is supporting those children financially.

JaJoJe · 19/12/2019 10:44

peachypetite - because its smart, money is the number one reason for divorce and both have been previously established why would they risk that?

As long as the both pay household bills then any other money is there's to use as they want even if they have different financial styles.

I would NEVER combine with DH because financially hes awful (as said above leaves things to last minute, must have the most expensive item even if he cant afford it, pays full price even if a 10 second search would save him 50% etc...) but I love him for everything else.

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