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AIBU?

Sea life centre drama

11 replies

walkersquavers · 17/12/2019 22:56

Posting on behalf of my friend who doesn't have Mumsnet but has asked me for advice!

She started seeing somebody about 12 weeks ago (Bob) who honestly has shown nothing but red flags to me. I've been in an abusive relationship and he showed all the same signs but she's infatuated so brushed it off.

She separated from her daughters dad (Dd ages 2) about 8 months but Today she went to the sea life centre with DD and Ex (I don't know why but haven't asked either). She left DD with ex and went home as had plans to meet up with Bob.

While she was getting ready to go out Bob has seen a photo on her phone of DD and Ex from earlier, starting slamming things, smashed her phone and then grabbed her up the wall. Can't make head or tails of the whole fight but She has clawed his face and how he's threatening to take her to court.

Obviously she's beside herself that a) she was nearly attacked herself and b) she doesn't think the police will believe her

Any advice? I told her that I think the police will understand that it is self defence if she contacts them first

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BillywilliamV · 17/12/2019 23:02

He's a bully therefore likely a coward, doubt a tosspot like this would genuinely contact the police, bet he's got form for this sort of thing already.
Your poor friend, I would encourage her to talk to the police herself, he sounds horrendous and she needs to be kept safe.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/12/2019 23:02

Oh Good God. I don’t really know anything about the law etc, and I won’t advise on something I don’t know anything about.
However I can offer you support. I’ll give this thread a few bumps as I don’t want it falling off the radar, and I’ll hold your hand until someone more clever comes a long
It begs the question what was Bob doing going through her phone.
I just pray she’s not going to take him back. If not for even herself but her baby.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/12/2019 23:02

Bump

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MoreRainbowsPlease · 17/12/2019 23:06

If he's smashed her phone then he's committed criminal damage. She could report the assault to the Police herself and she has the evidence of her broken phone. I would also look at getting a non-molestation order to keep him away from her. Hopefully she has no intention of ever having anything to do with him again.

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BestZebbie · 17/12/2019 23:12

Excellent - the "claw marks" on his face will be great evidence for the police that something did happen when he claims she is making the whole incident up out of whole cloth. She should report it now before they fade.

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Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 17/12/2019 23:14

^^I agree with bestzebbie

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saraclara · 17/12/2019 23:19

Yep. Report him, show the phone,tell them that she fought back so he will have marks on his face.

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walkersquavers · 17/12/2019 23:21

Thank you everybody, only a few replies but just the advice she needed to give her the push to do something

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HanginWithMyGnomies · 18/12/2019 11:57

@walkersquavers just because he has the physical injury, doesn’t mean that then he is the one who will be believed. It is consistent with her version of events and claw marks are self defence marks?

What an absolute tosser!!! I hope your friends ok and Bob has been reported.

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RJnomore1 · 18/12/2019 12:03

But she has been attacked! He had her up against the wall you say? No “nearly” about that...

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HanginWithMyGnomies · 18/12/2019 12:21

What @Rjnomoresaid too! It was most definitely an attack.

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